Just because you enjoy a good back rub doesn’t mean you need to go to some glitzy spa where they constantly play soft house music on a repetitive loop. Right? Why not head to a favorite ‘hot’ spot among folks who want a spa experience without the glamour. Enter this little labyrinth of banyas (steam rooms) for a plethora of spa choices.

You can be casually beaten with oak-leaf brooms called venik in a lava-hot spa (for $40; it’s actually really relaxing…well, interesting anyway). There’s Dead Sea salt and mud exfoliation ($55), plus the on-site cafe serves delicious borscht, blintzes, dark bread with smoked fish and, of course, beer. The crowd is interesting too: hipsters, older Jews, model types, Europeans and folks from Russia and former Soviet states, some of whom look like, um, entirely legitimate businessmen and we’re leaving it at that.