Travelling alone - anxious, scared even.

Hi, It's my first post here, the forum looks really busy so hopefully you can help me and maybe I can help someone!! (Hope this is the right forum)

I'm a 26 year old guy from the UK, been to uni and I'm now in a stable job. For a while I have thought about packing it in to see some inspiring places, I would like to do this alone as I feel it will be good for me, but to be honest I'm scared that I'll end up in the middle of Bhutan and not know anyone, people not going to wanna talk/socialise with me. This all sounds a bit embarrassing but I like the anonymity of the internet.

I'm sure many people travel and work abroad on their own, how did you get the confidence to do this?

I have been away to a few places - Milan, Holland, Thailand but always with a friend or group of friends so I'm never forced to communicate. The one time I was alone for a whole day in Thailand I just talked to the bar person and read my paper. I would rather not take the package travelling option that STA etc offer, I want to get on a plane and then see where that leads me. Are the couch surfing sights really good or just full of weirdos? Ideally I would find work overseas to support myself and I'd like to take off at spring next year so could have around £6k.

Any advice would be really appreciated. I'm just off to the gym so will reply on my return. Thanks

Are the couch surfing sights really good or just full of weirdos?

Actually this would be a good option for you since you can correspond with the person in advance and decide whether you think this is a good match for you or not.

As someone who occasionally has strangers staying with me, I have been amazed at the number of interesting people that I have met. You simply need to be open minded.

I would suggest starting with a short trip on your own for a long weekend or a week and see how you fare.

One of the things that I find when traveling alone is that it is useful to plan your days somewhat loosely in advance, to talk to people that you meet along the way and be flexible enough to make changes if someone suggests something you hadn't considered. It's ok to spend a couple of days with a stranger and then move on in a different direction. I have met people at hostels, at bus stops, on tours and ended up joining them for meals, a day or even several days.

Ideally I would find work overseas to support myself and I'd like to take off at spring next year so could have around £6k.

Finding work overseas and supporting yourself will depend entirely on your skills and qualifications, where you want to work and a variety of other factors. Of course, you have told us none of this about yourself.

As a young (under 30) Brit, you should look at the working holiday schemes as they offer some of the best opportunities for working overseas as the visa is arranged.

Ruth

Hi Ruth thanks for the great advice, the short trip is something I had not considered. I'll have a look at couch surfing further as part of the reason I want to go solo is to give me more confidence, but obviously to do it you need a lot of confidence.

My skill set revolves around design I have a HND in cabinet making and a degree in furniture design, the latter being my preferred area and the one I have worked in for the past 3 years. I would like to think I could gain a job in a skilled area as opposed to bar work etc.

In regards to visa's I'm aware Europe is all good, do you know if they can be sorted out whilst on the road. Are working holiday schemes paid or are they the schemes where you pay to do something a local could do.

You've nearly got 20,000 posts!!! :) Thanks again for the help.

I know ou mentioned you would like to get a job relational to your skill set, but as a suggestion, ( and for the benefit of other people looking to work whilst travel) you could try working in a backpackers hostel.

My thought behind this is that you will then have the opportunity to meet people and go off on your own for the day, on a day off if and when it suits you.

There are plenty around Europe who look for people to join them, particularly in time for spring.

If you like this idea and want any specific suggestions, pm me.

Once again that sounds like a nice idea, I'll drop you a PM. I just had an idea to maybe try and meet some of the local couch surfers for a coffee or beer and see what they are like!

do you know if they can be sorted out whilst on the road. Are working holiday schemes paid or are they the schemes where you pay to do something a local could do.

WHV usually need to be applied for at home in the country of your passport. They are only good (in most cases) until you turn 30. They do not pay you or provide you with jobs but they permit you to legally look for work in countries such as Australia, New Zealand, Japan, etc where you might not otherwise be able to work.

My skill set revolves around design I have a HND in cabinet making and a degree in furniture design, the latter being my preferred area and the one I have worked in for the past 3 years. I would like to think I could gain a job in a skilled area as opposed to bar work etc.

You might be able to get skilled work in your field in countries where English is spoken but I suspect that this might be difficult in countries where you don't speak the language. Have you considered talking with your current employer about international contacts? Perhaps you can netowrk and find a position overseas.

Working overseas and traveling are two very different things. I am unclear what is your goal. If you want to work overseas for a year or two for the experience, if you want to travel and work to supplement (which is extremely unlikely) or do you want to relocate more permanently?

Ruth

Hi tail1 i have replied to your pm.

I hope that helps! Have fun!!!

Your original comments caught my eye and there is an idea in there that I would like to address.

It is the idea that we think/believe/are told we are supposed to enjoy traveling alone. I used to believe that, but gave it up.

I do okay traveling alone, it's not a problem, but I certainly enjoy and prefer the company of others. To me exploring new places is much more enjoyable when being done with a friend, girlfriend, wife or even a newly found acquaintance.

I think just about everything in life is much more enjoyable as a shared experience rather than as a lone pursuit.

To deal with my own notions about "time alone", I backpacked wilderness areas several times and while a pleasant experience, it would have been more fun with someone along. Being a social animal really is okay. Just my opinion.

Now if you truly FEAR being alone, that is a different story, but if you just don't find traveling alone as enjoyable as with others - I think that is relatively normal.

I agree, if you prefer traveling with other people, that is OK. I do as well. Actually I prefer traveling with 1 other person. Either a very good friend or a girlfriend.

I can travel solo, and I have, but I find it more entertaining to be able to share a joke and a story with a very good friend that Im traveling with.

I suggest taking a 1 or 2 month trip with the option to extend, and go somewhere by yourself. If you find you prefer it solo, then keep going. If not, then make new friends or meet current friends and move on together.

The most valuable part of traveling is learning about yourself, what you like and dislike, what you want in life, and what you dont. This is all part of it. In the end, just make a decision and move forward with it.

Tails ,

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain

To over come anxiety you need to get yourself in a situation where you can't turn back and have to face your fear and keep moving forward. You feel scared now but I reckon that when your actually on the move you will be more relaxed . I think like that sometimes but when it comes to actually doing it , its not so bad.

Don't have regrets and just go for it mate. Get a blog going so people can read what your upto along your way .

Lodge.

Edited by: lodge28

Thanks for all the replies, much appreciated. My company is just UK based so no chance of a move. I could work away as I am working on computer but I'm not sure they would agree to this!

I do need to figure out what I want from life as I'm confused and end up doing everything in half mesures, so never fully achieve what I want.

The main reason I want to keep in the design field is so I'm employable if and when I return, it's hard getting a furniture design job and employers like experience.

I don't want to travel with my current friends I want to put myself in a position where I have to make new friends, improve my confidence and communicating skills.

There are some interesting ideas raised on this thread. As others have noted, travelling alone is not for everyone but I think it is great that you want to give it a try, even if you end up deciding it isn't your preferred method of travel.

A few things stood out to me from what you said.

1. A day alone in Thailand isn't really a good thing to judge how travelling alone will go especially since it sounds like you weren't really out and about that day.

2. If you do travel alone there will be days, quite a few of them probably, when you will end up completely alone. You do have to be ok with that and prepared for it. I've been travelling alone for years (not every trip) and while I've had some amazing experiences with people I've just met I've also had plenty of days or even weeks when I've ended up not really connecting with anyone.

Having said that though travelling alone is still something I love to do. I love being forced out of my comfort zone, I love the fact that it is so much easier to meet people when I don't have the fall back option of a friend. I also love the fact that there are plenty of great people in the world who when they notice you are alone will extend an invitation to you.

Couchsurfing sites can be a good option. I'd actually recommend not staying with people (if cash isn't a big factor). Stay in a hostel where you're likely to meet lots of people and then use couchsurfing to meet up with people either to get shown around the city or just as a social thing. A lot of cities have fairly active couchsurfing scenes. As a boring middle aged lady much of it isn't my thing but I've still met a lot of interesting people even in the limited number of activities I've gone along to.

I also second the idea of looking into WHVs. As a UK person you've got options in a lot of countries (I'd skip Europe for now, you can work there anytime). Why not head somewhere like Australia with a WHV. Travel around a bit, try to land some work. I'm sure you'll have no trouble meeting people if you are doing that.

Good luck.

And you wont be alone in Bhutan as it was a country where you needed to join a tour to gain entry. Not sure if that still applies.

Hi, Just to say thanks for all your help, having used a cycling forum a lot I know it's frustrating when you spend time helping someone for them not to say thanks!

"I love being forced out of my comfort zone" this is what I need to do, as in the past 2 years I've gone from someone happy with life to someone who is scared to fly and generally feeling a bit scared of living my life!

Anyway thanks again and hopefully i can use this forum to help others in the future.

I'm 25 and left a quiet town in the UK (Hereford) to fly to Delhi as the first stop on my first ever solo travelling trip.

It scared the hell out of me at first, but I made a decision to go in at the metaphorical deep end culture shock wise to help me 'man-up' a bit. For the first week it seemed like a terrible idea, I even did a camel safari that consisted of just me, the guide and the camelman (not forgetting 'Larry' the camel). After this first week though I began to understand the sheer freedom of what I'd set out to do and fell in love with travelling.

After the first month I met a friend from home and we travelling together for a couple of months. We had some great times, but having to agree on what to do and dealing with each other day in day out grew old and we were both much happier after we went seperate ways. We are still good mates now.

That first trip was meant to last 4 - 6 months but ended up lasting 22 months.

Most places you go you should find it very easy to hook up with fellow travellers. I met an Irish guy in Nepal and ended up also meeting him in Malaysia to do the PADI course and in Indonesia for surfing.

Some of my best friends now are the ones i met travelling. In Phnom Penh I met a couple at a bus stop but we were going seperate ways. I then met them on Si Phan Don and finally again in Pakse. At that point I just joined them and we travelled for 2 months together. When I moved to Australia a couple of months later I ended up working with one of and eventually both of them.

Sure I've had a few times where I've been a little on my own but for the most part, travelling completely on your own is a choice you can make whilst you're out there. You'll get increasingly better at meeting people as you go along.

I traveled with a guy who was a real bum. A bludger.

But I woe him. He made me a solo traveler from then on.
I can go back to a sight or museum to study one thing only. I can start my day after the hostel breakfast (served till 10 a.m.)
The late riser wastes every travel-mate's day.

And I can eat where I want when I want.

And if I feel like moving on, I do it now.
And everybody solo pulls their weight.

"I even did a camel safari that consisted of just me, the guide and the camelman (not forgetting 'Larry' the camel)."

Haha! sounds terrible!! Funny in hindsight!

Hereford is supposed to be really nice, my parents love it there!

The trip was actually brilliant in an odd way. The camelman spoke no English, the guide spoke a tiny amount - we exchanged our feebly basic words which came in handy down the line.

The place I did it was also really untouristy - at no point during the 3 days did I have any person hassle me for money, school pens and the like. I got to see some pretty untouched villages and drank chai with one of the chiefs.

I woke up during the first night in the desert to take a leak, and it was whilst looking up at this massive ridiculously clear starry sky above a huge desert with almost no-one around, that I thought 'Damn, this is cool', and became a lot more appreciative or where I was and what I was doing.

Sure there were a few wobbles after that that, but for the most part that first night in the desert sorted me out!

Hereford is really nice if you're a parent, grandparent, great grandparent, great great grandparent.... I think the 'like' of the place goes up with age. It's pretty but dull to me unfortunately.

The first few days I was solo proper I was at Lake Egirdir in Turkey. It was dead quiet, I freaked out a little and spent most of my time writing in my travel diary and eating cheap bread and pop keks, it was awful! Half of me was determined to stay there until I was enjoying myself, but then I realised I could do whatever I want so I got on a bus and left. I ended up having an awesome trip, meeting lots of locals and doing things that I wouldn't have done if my friends were there. I also had a few wobbly days when I first got to Africa, Dar es Salaam, probably the culture shock. Also I was ill. I spent quite a lot of time on the phone to my Mum! There's probably always going to be the odd lonely day, where you wish your friends were there or that you were back home, but the good days will outweigh the bad, and if you don't like somewhere then you can just go somewhere else!

I think a lot of the things that you worry about you just get on with when you're actually out there. You do get used to sorting things out on your own and striking up conversations with strangers, if you're in need of some conversation, and it definitely gives you a lot more freedom to do things spontaneously. I love going out for dinner on my own and chatting to the waiters, and I usually enjoy seeing historic sites a lot more on my own. You get very tuned in to your whims. I regularly go on European city breaks, where I can wander around on my own during the day taking photos, and then usually hook up with people from the hostel in the evening. I'm a late riser so one of the things I enjoy most is having a lie-in knowing that I'm not annoying anyone, or that I won't be woken up by someone slapping a pillow in my face!

If you're somewhere fairly touristy then you can always join a day tour if you're feeling a bit isolated. I also like to meet up with people with common interests (usually foodies or photographers), through blogs or forums. Haven't tried Couchsurfers but intend to on my next trip. I've never worked abroad but it seems pretty easy to pick up hostel/promotions work in popular places whilst you're on the go. Also check out Workaway.info for work placements, it's in exchange for food and board rather than pay, like WWOOFing, but they have some interesting projects in some quite unusual places and it can make your budget go just a little bit further.

The worst thing about travelling on your own is that no-one is that interested in your photos when you get home, because they're not in them, and you have no-one close to hand to reminisce with! Half of the reason I started travelling on my own was because none of my friends wanted to go to the places that I did, or do the same things. Now I would only travel with a select few people, and not for any length of time. I get a bit crabby if I don't get my space!

PS as with the camel safari above, even the awful experiences usually turn into quite good stories with a little time and distance!
Edited by: vendavel

Edited by: vendavel

Hi, i made several shorter (3 to 5 week) trips on my own, and found it scary the first time as well, don't be embarrased.
Meeting people on the road happens easily, in hostels, buses, at sites... I think that socialising while traveling is much easier than in "real life". You always have something in common (you both choose to travel to this special place at the same time), which makes it easy to start a conversation.

Getting confident (obviously) doesn't happen overnight, so don't be put off in the beginning if you are not feeling comfortable right away. Although i really enjoyed traveling solo from the start, it was after a few trips that i realised i had become totally confident and comfortable with it.

And finally, i think traveling solo is not only about finding ways to meet other people, but also about finding ways to get along with your own company. You're not guaranteed to meet people all the time, it is likely to spend one or more days alone as well. If you feel okay while you're alone, you don't have to worry about meeting others so much. Good luck!

Avoid strange little guys who call you, "my friend" too much.

Don't let anybody INSIST on helping you with your stuff. His henchman is on your blind side. In Europe, the bad guys rarely get violent. They're more skilled and quick.

What keeps me moving forward in strange places...is knowing that going back is not a realistic option...

You just solve the problems as they come up... "Loneliness" is not even considered...I'm totally concentrated on getting from point A to point B...Totally "in the moment"... For me travel is a very Zen experience...the only time I'm really in the moment...and not thinking about the future "theoretically"...

Things have a way of working out... Even if you do end up at the train station at 3am...with a pocket full of the "wrong money"....and everything is closed anyway....

The world is not really a hostile a place...especially if you are hanging out in touristic places... If you get off the beaten track...hand sign language works amazingly well...and English is almost a universal language now... And yes...avoid "too helpful" people...at train stations especially...although I have had some good tips from "touts"...just use good judgment when dealing with these "locals"... if something doesn't seem right cut it off immediately...

The best cure for trip anxiety is arriving at the airport...! Just do it...

Postscript:

And remember its those bad experiences and near disasters and strandings that you'll be talking about most when you get back home...! The too well planned trip can be a bit too boring...and that is the paradox of it.

Damn well said, 22!

In Rick Steves' "Europe Through the Back Door", he says (paraphrase-- read it many years ago) "On every trip, something will happen that you think will ruin it all. `But while you're straightening it all out, You'll have experiences and gain knowledge, that you did.t have before."

Its what takes the newby out of us. Planning too tight and pre-booking from home, keeps us from learning anything.

Fear of the unknown sucks.
Have a great learning trip!

Locals speak more English if you have the courtesy to try thiers first.
-edited by Old Man Resiprocity

I've lived in Spain, long enough to where they tell me what they really think of us Americans. "Americans. Nice people and all, but whew! They're afraid of everything. But won't listen to the explanation."

I was a bit nervous at first when I decided to travel alone. I started off small, driving about 800 miles to see some relatives (I live in the US) when I was just out of high school. My first "big" trip after I graduated college and had a job was a road trip through eastern Canada. Got used to travel planning "on the run" this way (making reservations etc while on the road rather than having everything planned out before I left).

My first overseas trip was to the UK. While I had a friend who was working there, I was on my own during the day and on overnight trips to other parts of the country. I enjoyed the mix of having someone with me part of the time and being able to go off and do my own thing at other times.

I went to Turkey my myself and was a bit worried about actually being able to feed myself as this was the first time I had gone to a country where english wasn't the first language. However, this trip actually made me comfortable traveling alone as using the phrase book, picking up bits and pieces of the language, and as a last resort looking around for a younger person to translate (most schools are teaching english now so the younger people tend to speak it) was fun and a good way to meet people. This mindset helped me a great deal when I went to India and had to deal with 6 or 7 languages!

I do like traveling with people, don't get me wrong but I've found if you have to wait for schedules to co-ordinate etc etc you'll never get to go where you want to go. Take a deep breath and go for it. Even the times where things don't go quite as you have planned add to the adventure.

Hey Tails,

I was there once too!! I flew into Costa Rica alone when I was 18. When I arrived in San Jose I found this girl about the same age as me just absolutley hysterical and overwhelmed. She said she could find her host family and had no idea what she was doing there. And thank goodness for her! If I didnt have to hold it together for her, and to help her, I probably would have walked right back into the airport and took the first flight home. I was pretty terrified arriving at almost midnight, and the next morning setting out to the nicoya peninsula by myself, the man running the hostel gave me a bracelet with a number on it incase I was harrassed by taxi drivers.
From tsunami warnings to flooded roads, my surf camp had moved and just not sent me the updated address. 5 days in a hurricane came through and took the rof off the treehouse of the camp. They refunded my money but I had 3 weeks to kill in a country I had done zero research on except getting from point A to B. Lucky for me, the universe had a better plan and I ended up meeting a swiss girl and travelling the whole country and even extending the trip a bit. Could have never anticipated the things I would learn and the travel bug I would catch. Sometimes you have to jump in whole heartedly and not look back, just expect things to work out the way they are meant to, the universe will look out for the rest.

Point is, dont let being alone hold you back. That is where you meet the kindred souls who are in the same place at the same time for a reason. Have fun and happy trails!

I was similar to you - bored with life, never going anywhere particularly fun or exotic as friends had different ideas of what a holiday was until I decided to take the plunge and go it alone. I started off with small holidays on my own just 2 different 1 week trips to Italy on "singles/independant tavel" tours. I highly recommend this if you are too nervous to go somewhere completely on your own first, Intrepid and Exodus are good ones to look at. It helps you get into the mindset of being on your own but having a group of strangers around you that you have to try and get to know.

When I decided to do a round the world trip I was very nervous - what if I hated it and couldn't cope? I came to the conclusion Well - I could always fly home - home wasn't going anywhere.

I took the plunge and wanted to go everywhere! In the end I started with 3 weeks in India on a Gap Adventures Tour which was a good choice. I got stuck in at the deep end with a massive culture shock but had the security of a tour guide, but still had to mix in with a bunch of strangers. I spent a week in Hong Kong on my own after that and then 3 weeks in China on another Gap Adventures Tour.

I made my way down to Thailand where the real independant travel began and yes, at times it was scary, lonely and all the rest, but most of the time it was great, exciting, inspiring and wonderful. You will be surprised just how many people you meet and how easy it is to start up conversations with strangers. Locals take an interest in you and other travellers are more than happy to have someone new to meet and chat to. I've had bad times of course, food poisoning on your own in Thailand isn't fun - but then the owners of the guesthouse really helped me and looked after me. Having my hotel room in Laos robbed whilst I was asleep also was not the best of experiences and completely freaked me out and made me want to go home. However, I didn't want to give up just because of these things - I've been away from home for 14.5 months now, and in all that time, i'd say that those are probably the only 2 bad experiences I have had. I must have had about 200 amazing ones....dawn at the Taj Mahal, climbing the Great Wall of China, staying in a my very own "The Beach" hut on a secret Island in Thailand, being invited to join a buddhist funeral in Laos, not to mention all the amazing things that I have seen and done in Austrlaia so far.........i'm quite happy with those odds. I'm going home for 6 weeks soon and then i'm off for another adventure in New Zealand. I'm already trying to work out where else I can live and work abroad for more adventures and fun!

I would just stress the social aspect of solo travel. Last summer I traveled on my own for 2 months in Eastern Europe and Russia right after graduating from college. Never have I been so sociable in my life. Being alone makes you more perceptive of places and people. If you meet locals, socializing will be easy because more often than not they will be curious as to why you are there (assuming you're not in a very touristy spot) and they might strike conversation first. If you meet fellow travelers, it will also be easy to socialize since you will have one thing in common -your decision to travel there. And anyway travel-loving people tend to be curious people, always willing to learn about others, so I'd say socializing at hostels and the like is easy.

However, my experience of traveling alone was undertaken mostly in not-so-touristy locations. Bulgaria, Romania, the former Yugoslav republics, the Baltic countries and Russia aren't yet teeming with tourists really. Locals are more curious of travelers in those countries partly because they are still odd.

Now that I'm back home I can see that it was much easier meeting people while on the road than here. I'm the same person but the environment is totally different. I don't have the urge to socialize as I did while traveling, and people here aren't curious of me nor think that living in the same town is enough of a coincidence in order to strike conversation.

Its true;
Locals are more willing to talk with us solos. They don't want to interrupt. Nice folks out there.

Travel groups tend to have most of their energy go toward the party. It doesn't seem to matter where they are.

I don't know that I agree that travel groups spend most of their energy on the the party necessarily, and especially not on the trips I have done.

My first trip to Italy I admit was a slightly more boozy affair however I was in the small portion of the group who went out for drinks, most people seemed to head to bed early.

My trips in India and China were both definately not party based, perhaps it had a lot to do with the countries we were in, but generally we were up very early and doing a lot in the day time so were pretty exhausted by the evening, perhaps have a beer or wine with dinner, occasionally a couple more but that was generally it.

I'm not saying that the trips weren't fun, but I wouldn't necessarily say that they were aimed towards a party atmosphere either. Maybe it depends which tour company you go with and what countries you visit.

I'm not just talking about boozing.
I see 'em here in Seville a lot.

I'm in the same position as you. I've finally come to the conclusion that the world is probably trying to tell me something when EVERY single travel plan I've tried to make with friends and strangers, advertising for travel buddies have all gone awry. I'm just going to take the plunge by myself and am pretty scared, partly since I can be a little anti-social (not in a rude way) and quiet, and partly because I'm pretty hopeless with directions and geography!

I think I'm not going to start off with a small tour before setting off by myself.

I think it's an excellent idea for you. I'm 21 now and to be honest, I think of everything I've done in my life travelling alone has probably been the single biggest influence on boosting my (self-) confidence, openness to meeting new people, ability to think on my feet, practical problem-solving skills... Honestly, I wonder if there's any useful thing it doesn't tech you really. Oh yeah, and how to have a good time doing it!

Personally after planning wide-eyed dreamy ideas from my sitting room for like half a year, the moment I jumped on a train to Greece I was just kind of in wild shock for about an hour, wondering how I could ever have thought I would manage to travel around Eastern Europe on my own for a month. That moment will definitely come, and then it'll go away the moment you realise that doing this could well be the coolest thing you'll ever do. (Plus - not only will it turn out to actually be very surprisingly easy, for ages afterwards you'll be getting the biggest wide-eyed admiration from people - most of them will be probably be people who never considered solo travel but unlike you, never took the step. This may be slight overindulging, it's very satisfying too ;).)

A practical tip I'd definitely give is for your first while, check into a big hostel with a party reputation, recommended by Lonely Planet - a surefire way of meeting loads of fun people fast and an excellent way to celebrate your excitement of having begun a great adventure... I think you'll be surprised at how many people you meet there who're also travelling alone. After that there's always couchsurfing, smaller hostels or loads of other things, but I found a great way to ease yourself into the whole thing.

Good luck mate, let us know how you got on!
Finn

And if you mess up on something, don't bully yourself about it. Learn to laugh at it. You know; the "what's the lesson in this?" approach. And remind yourself, its a learning curve thing.

Ask owners about the packs they use and why etc.

If lost again, "have a coffee" and regroup. Take it easy and absorb.

Ask directions after saying, "Excuse me. Do you speak some English?"
Have fun/not schedules.

Thanks once again for the great response, I have been reading and will try to take it all on board. I'm enjoying your anecdotes gawkabout.

I use crutches to walk as I am paralyzed from right lower limb and I carry a backpack that is heavy (17kg). I am a Pakistani and that makes me look like a terrorist in almost all parts of the world even though I have never even held a gun :) I have recently started traveling and that too all alone.

The point I am trying to make is - be thankful of what you have and what you can do because as the years pass by you will start loosing your inner shine and a sense of adventure that keeps you going in this age. When you will get older, you will not be even interested in your own reflection in the mirror. Take this time and jump in the open waters of opportunity. You do not have to worry about your confidence because when you will get some kind of responsibility upon you, you will know what to do and how to approach and after a few years you will be sitting somewhere comfortable, sipping from a hot coffee mug and smiling and maybe even sharing your adventures and your fair share of stories that you came across with your loved ones.

The only thing you should be worried about are your travel documents like passport. Money and the visas will come secondary. Travel as light as possible and if you think you can manage without some of the stuff that you have packed in your backpack, leave it behind and you can purchase it or hire it once you need it. Try to get as many visas from your home country as possible because, sometimes its difficult to get visas on the road. Be friendly to everyone but do not trust anyone. Make sure to check your luggage before you approach any customs desk in any part of the world. Never carry someone's stuff with you. Learn to respect others and you will be respected in return. Do not freak out on small things. Carry a deck of playing cards with you as it can be one of the best ways to start a conversation. Always try to carry your documents, cards and tickets on your body hidden and learn to get rid of unwanted items which you think are important but basically you will never need or use them.

In short, have fun and you will be just fine "my friend".

Warm regards

DJ

oooh thanks!

Don't get me started!
After my shipping and Australia odd experiences (thank God for that off-the-wall schoolin'), my problem is which stories I should leave out.

Finally writing that book.

Its what taught me to stop and absorb.
And bs with locals.

The pearl is in the "oh by the way."

I backpacked by myself through London, Paris, Rome, Florence, Venice, and Athens last year for a month. It was my first time traveling by myself.

On my first day in London, I found myself curled up in a bunk bed at the London Central Youth Hostel in the middle of the day thinking that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. Two things helped me get through it:

1. I wrote out a list of why I decided to travel. Doing this, quickly dispelled the irrationality of my fears.
2. I planned ahead. My itinerary helped me calm down knowing that I didn't have to worry about the details because it was all taken care of.

That adventure changed my life. But it took courage to do so.

I am not quite sure what the problem is with traveling alone. It is - to me - not as much fun as traveling with a friend/lover/wife - but it is by no means an occasion filled with terror.

You can build these things up to be much more than they really are. Just go and you will find that it all takes care of itself and you will - no doubt - be met with many wonderful surprises.

Someone told me:

"You can never be alone while traveling" - Has been true so far. So dont worry and you will meet plenty of people who will be there with you for a few days and then you will meet more people who will be there with you for a while and then the cycle goes on and on.

Do everything according to your taste and pace and you will be fine.

Regards,

DJ

Hey. The tough part is; not bothering to ncollect a bail of email addresses.

And tougher yet; is remembering who they were.

We're only ships, that pass, in the night.

FORWARD!

gawkabout - too true. just 2 nights ago I was standing in the hostel kitchen when a woman said hey how you doing? I looked at her, knew I knew her but just couldn't place her and had to say sorry and ask her to remind me! Very rude but I have a terrible memory - i'd only had dinner with her and another lady in another town 2 nights before! I meet so many people in so many places its so hard to remember everyone........lifes not so bad if thats one of my only major problems :-)

The very worst problem of recognising someone on the road - once a bloke has had a shave after getting bored of the obligatory travel beard. How am I supposed to know that a respectable looking guy is in fact the trampish Aussie I'd met two months before???

I am guilty of this as well...

hahahaha,..... that is so true arowberry... :)

Five years ago when I was 21, I upped sticks and moved to Australia for a year. My best advice I can give you to do it is to just book it and worry about the practicalities the week beforehand! Don't overthink it, just go if you want to go.

If you can't find people at home who share your ambition or passion to see a bit more of the world, you can be guaranteed that once you're out on the road there'll be heaps of them to keep you company.

And if it's really, really awful: you can come home. Travelling is an experience, not a punishment!

Good luck... and stop worrying!

I got started because artist friends got tired of me wishing out loud.
They sent me to an artist friend in NYC.

Third week in the East village, I overheard a hippie say,"You can work one way on Swedish cargo ships"

I thought I did it for cheap transportation. Wrong. I shipped for a year in all. 4 ships. Then 2.4 years in Oz.

1963 start. 22 years old. Some if not best travel should be done alone.
There's a social strata of us from many flags.

Working overseas is a school for loving people. They are prob'ly from elsewhere too..

I'm gonna throw in my 2 cents too...
My first solo travel experience was on a one week all-inclusive trip (head down in shame) to Cuba.
I went because my friend canceled at the last minute and I now I believe that it was meant to be.
I met 3 other solos there and I loved the fact that we had no ties to one another, didn't owe anything to one another and came and went as we pleased. This was a real eye opening experience for me. Especially considering I was a 28yr old recently divorced woman at the time.

The day I got back from that trip I decided I must go somewhere alone for a longer stretch and eventually chose Australia for nearly 4 months. I, like most who decide to take the plunge on their own for the first time, was absolutely petrified. What if nobody wanted to talk to me? I was always quite socially awkward! Well, you learn very quickly that travellers are quite friendly and almost everyone is happy to talk to you and go out..whether it's for a few days or just a drink. That trip, beyond the wonderful places I saw and the people I met, gave me a confidence that I never had before....and also a somewhat problematic addiction to travel. I have since taken numerous trips all over the world on my own. Rarely do I take someone with me because I enjoy the freedom, I enjoy being forced out of my comfort zone and I enjoy not having to consider anyone else when making any kind of decision. Travelling with others certainly has its benefits but I just find that it's a completely different experience....plus most of my friends at home would only like to travel "someday".
I disagree that not everyone should travel alone. In fact I think it should be mandatory for everyone that can afford it because the lessons it gives you about yourself and the world is not something you could ever find in a textbook, from the media or any other "normal" life experience.

My old man said, the best way to make friends is simply, don't be the last to say Hi!

Don't befriend people your mom wouldn't like. The inner voice thing.
Not social status, just a feeling for a good person.,

Tough part for travel virgins, is not thinking you made a mistake by trying, the first time things go wrong. You'll only want to go home for a little while.

Find the joke in it.
You won't be a travel virgin then.

And you won't want to travel in groups any more. Watch how much they pay attention to where they are. The energy goes to the party.

... and do things you can never ever imagine doing at home. I for one had a motorcycle ride in the mountains, clinged behind a Suzuki Pickup and paragliding. Although not a big deal for most of you, but for me it was trip of a life time. You can go anywhere you like and not have to worry about what others are planning and you do not have to tag along them. You are a free spirit and you can do whatever you like.

All you need is a smile on your face and you can get past many barriers in life.

Regards,

DJ

Edited by: djdesi

52 simpatico answers so far. You beginning to get the drift?

They are only borders, not the edge of the world.

Prefer working in your chosen field? Or only do what your school major was in?
GET A GRIP!

Everything else to do for a living is not the outsiders. err sompm...
)8o)

How do you know its better than something you haven't tried?
You're supposed to be adventuring, right? Live a liitle!

Get out there. Of course you don't know anybody in ...country.
Yet.

Just have the courtesy and cajónes, to stumble in their language first. They're just shy about their lack of English skills. And don't want to offend.

I often take off on my travels solo but rarely am I actually ever alone once I start travelling. You always meet someone heading in the same direction, they might not be ideal but I find I can get along with most people and can cope with sharing a bus journey and a few days in the same place as them at least. If it's not working out we go our seperate ways.

I've spent a lot of time travelling in recent years. It's been a mix of travelling with friends, family, solo and people I've met on the road and I definitely prefer having company. Someone to share those long journeys with, to laugh with when something goes wrong, to talk about what we did or plan to do, to share some food and a beer (or 10) with. Funny stories tend to only be funny if the person you're talking to is involved in it / witnessed it. Plus if you feel like escaping for the a day or two you can and just meet up later, you have no ties to this person.

Travelling with a friend from home can either be the best thing ever or a nightmare. Me and a mate lasted a whole 4 days in Australia before having to go our seperate ways whilst me another mate have travelled for months on end in Europe and SE Asia without ever getting upset or annoyed at each other.

I always thought with a good friend might be the best way to travel but my recent South America trip there were no friends or family from home and it was probably my best travels to date. When I don't know anyone I don't set any limits on myself and there's no one around to have any preconceived notions or ideas about me. I'm free to be whoever I want to be, something which I don't experience at home.

I was really lucky on this last trip to meet so many locals and travellers I connected with, some people will be friends for life I'm sure of that. There were 3 other travellers who made up my main travelling companions at various points of this trip and it would have been a very different experience had it not been for them. There were certain locals I met who I will never ever forget, that have made certain destinations so special that I will have to go back and visit them at some point. I don't at any point remember feeling lost or lonely or longing for home, something which I have experienced in the past on previous travels.

Go solo, you won't actually be alone for most of it, and you will not regret it.

Hi everyone,

Just been surfing the net for some advice from anyone really. I'm looking to travel to Thailand in November but i'm scared of gong on my own. i've always waited to do it and im bursting to do it, its just getting the guts to do it alone. i was wanting to go with a tour company (STA Travel) as this will be my first time travelling away from my family and friends (big aww) and im soo nervous! its the travelling to the destination im most scared of because i know im bound to meet loads of people! its waiting for the plane and getting there on my own! so sad i know but i just need some advice...

Thanks

Don't go with STA or any other tour group. They are all expensive, rigid, over structured and you're told where to go, when to and how long you can stay there for. This is NOT travelling it's being shunted around from place to place, taking some quick photos and then put back on a bus again.

Just book the flight now and that way you're commited to doing it, you'll realise once you start doing it that it's not at all scary. Getting on a plane is easy especially if you've done it before and are familiar with the routine. You can arrange for your hostel to pick you up on arrival most likely and then you're all sorted!

www.kayak.com can help you handicap flying prices.

Self propel. Its growth you're after.

In all honesty with you - whether you do a tour or not, you will always have to travel on the plane alone and get to your first hostel/hotel on your own. You do not all leave together and meet at the airport and travel together from your home country. You will have to make your own way usually to your first accommodation and only from there do you travel as a group.

I do understand your nervousnass as I was the same when I first started travelling and I still think that doing a tour is not a terribly bad way to start it off if you have never been away on your own before.

However, saying all that Thailand is definately one place where you do not need to do a tour as everything is so easy and very set up for travellers.

Yes it will be very daunting at first but you will soon get into it.

Tour companies are very expensive ways of seeing a country but I do think they serve a purpose especially if you are very short on time - they organise everything and get you from A to B in a convenient way although it can very much be - get off bus, take photo, get back on bus. You will still get to see the country but its very very different to travelling on your own independantly.

The best example I can give you is my tour I did in India - the first place I visited on my travels where it was just one temple after another temple after another temple. Had I done my travels independantly I would have done it very differently however I didn't have the nerve to tackle that country on my own.

As you've said, you've been surfing the net looking for advice and you will see from what other people have posted about being nervous going away on their own and all the replies they get back about it being the best thing that they have ever done.

If you do go on a tour, i'm sure you will enjoy it, but i'm even more sure that if you go it alone you will enjoy it even more. On a tour you are stuck with the same group of people for 2 or 3 weeks - that can be a very long time if you don't get on. Of course, you may find a great group of people that you really hit it off with.

Read more posts on Thorn Tree about other peoples experiences and get yourself a guide book and read it thoroughly - it will give you a great idea about how to get around Thailand and how easy it really is even on your own.

and I still think that doing a tour is not a terribly bad way to start it off if you have never been away on your own before

It's a bad idea because then you'll not experience what it's like to travel solo and when you get in the mood to travel again the future you're back at square one, nervous, don't know what to expect, scared etc. You have to just do it! And as you said tour or no tour the airport and getting to your first destination / hotel is all up to you anyway so if you can get the hardest bit out thew way solo the rest will be a breeze.

Travelling Thailand couldn't be simipler, you don't even need to leave your accomodation to organise your travel to the next place you want to go.

Tour not, my son.

Have the nads to go solo.
Lots of women of all ages do it.

try two hostels, before deciding whether that's for you. They're all different with different crowds. They try to match you up, with travelers your own age, in dorms. But no need for dorms.

photos rates maps to etc. look a while.

Fear not, the unknown. Mama ain't there always.
WE TRAVEL TO LEARN
AND PARTIALLY MORE ABOUT OURSELVES.

sic 'em!

They try to match you up, with travelers your own age, in dorms.

No they don't. If you book or ask for the 8 person door you get put in there regardless of the age of the other travellers.

63 answers. Reckon OP is still reading this stuff?

It sure is nice to tell things that help, to those who are really curious about ground level travel.

I think you scared OP off.

Being scared to travel somewhere new alone is something I've felt countless times before. I think the best advice out there is from this college kid:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqqlnXByegc

Posted Dec. 2010.
:)

We have OP archeologists on TT too.