Retirement abroad

Again.
This time it's only for those who've done it, and who know it from their experience.
It's not about dreams and pension plans, sunshine and extended holidays.
I'd like to hear from those who've moved to another country and found happiness.
How do you cope with living in a different country?
Have you learnt the language? Do you feel you've become part of the community?

I want to hear just one success story.
Anyone?

Does taking early retirement at 56 to go in the Peace Corps count?That is what I did in 1991-93 . I spent 2 years in Lesotho ,a little country surrounded by South Africa.. It was one of the best things I ever did for myself for many reasons. I was in a small village, lived in a dung coated house with no electric, no running water, no toilet and everyone else there lived the same way. The village had no electric at all , the one store had a generator so sometimes you could get a cold drink, etc. The people there still cook most of thier food outside, however I did have a propane stove .I was also the only caucasion in the village and didnt see another white face for about 3 weeks. I love the Basotho people, they are very bright and witty and most are very very poor but they enjoy life overall despite the hardships they endure,They taught me to be grateful for the small things in life and not to get so involved with THINGS. They taught me not to be judgemental ( Like when I first got there and thought they should be cooking beans instead of using canned beans --.They didnt have the fuel to cook something like beans). The same thing about the little short brooms they used. they have very few trees so there is not enough wood for broom handles.Simple things that we just take for granted. I did learn the language as Peace Corps mandates you do and you have to pass the foreign service exam. I was also fortunate as most Basotho speak some english. I was and am still overwhelmed when I walk into a big store like a Walmart etc. It seems like we have too many choices. I was happy and think I was very lucky to have the experiance of living there for 2 years. I am going back this Oct for the first time and am very so excited about doing so.Hope I can find some of the teachers I worked with,

I ended up in Greece in 1993. Went for a week and stayed 7 years. I would probably still be there if I hadn't met my (now) wife, when I went on a trip to Scotland to scatter my Mother's ashes.

I don't know what it is you want to hear Fieldgate. I felt very at home there and still do when I visit. But I also met many other ex-pats who didn't stick. The problem is there is no way to know whether a place will suit you or not until you have lived there for a couple of years. That's why I always tell people to rent for at least 1 and preferably 2 years first.

When I arrived in Greece, I was 46 not 65 and that is another factor I think has to be taken into consideration. What will happen when you are 80 for example. That's when any short-coming in health care, language barriers and just friends and family to support you may become major factors. For me in my 40s and early 50s it wasn't an issue. But if I'm honest about it, I can't imagine how someone who is much older and gets ill would cope.

I coped fairly easily. I did see a lot of people who couldn't. In fact I believe the number one reason people don't stick is simply because of the differences from home. It isn't good or bad, it's just different. I had to learn to just let things go. I saw a lot of people who drove themselves crazy fretting over Greek bureaucracy for example. Accepting different seems to be easy for some and impossible for others.

I never became fluent in Greek. I can get by and understand what is being said most of the time but certainly can't really write in Greek. It wasn't a major problem as most people speak English simply because of tourism. However language can be a major issue if you have some kind of medical or legal problem to deal with.

After I had been there a year I thought I was integrating fairly well and being accepted by the locals. It was only after about 3 years that I realized I was wrong and only after 3 years was I really being accepted. It's easy to mistake friendliness for acceptance. The first comes fairly easy but the second takes much longer to really happen. In my case what I found was that the locals were used to people coming to live and then leaving after a couple of years again so they were friendly but held back to see if you are really going to stick or not. Being invited for dinner with a family is different from sharing a drink with a guy in a taverna in the afternoon.

But the answer is yes, I was accepted and became part of the community. Even now after not having lived there for 10 years I am welcomed home like family. I was there this May, just showed up without warning. Within hours, people started showing up to welcome me back. I had 3 offers of places to stay, a car to use and invitations to dinner. During my 2 weeks there (as on my last few visits) I had more free drinks and meals than I paid for. Greeks are wonderful people. They are always friendly but keep a space at the same time. When one decides however that you are a friend, you are a brother. I was fortunate to find that kind of friendship with several people on the island when I lived there.

One other thing I will say in regards to your posting this. Don't listen to anything anyone who has spent less than 5 years in a country says. Thye are still in the honeymoon phase and justifying their choice. You may be surprised how few responses you get from those who have spent more than 5 years somewhere. By my reckoning, for every 10 I saw come to the island to live, 5 were gone within 2 years and 9 within 5 years. It's that 1 in 10 you really want to hear from.

My brother and his family of three children went out to New Zealand to work. My parents in their 60ties retired from teaching followed and lived happly there until 12 years or so ago Dad died, and two years ago Mum died. They found it easy to adapt. They said that New Zealand was more like another part of the UK than a different country. Before making the final decision to move they had spent 2 or 3 six month periods in the country. This is probably one of the easiest retirement transitions to make but they had already retired in the UK and were settled and even so they found it a lot of hard work.

#1
Sounds like you certainly had an interesting experience - a taste of relocation however that lasted two years only.
Did you ever consider to make your stay in Lesotho more permanent?
#2
I don't know what it is you want to hear Fieldgate.
As I said in my OP, I want to hear just one success story. Even if yours sounds like a success, it was terminated for some reason. Like you said, people return after 2, or 5, or 7 years.
#3
New Zealand - that's a different thing. I visited that country twice and felt like I was in the UK (almost), and the Kiwis, in some respects were even more British than Brits in the UK. No language barrier either.

I've met quite a few so called expats, who moved to another country. Most of them British, but not only. Out of 10-12 couples, singles, or families, I met and got to know pretty well, only one couple looked like they were fully functional in their adopted country. In that case, it was and English guy who settled in Portugal, after having travelled to that country on business, for some 18 years. All the others I met, seemed, or rahter pretended to be happy.
They do their gardens, drink too much and mostly every day, live their insular lives, socialising only with other expats (some of whom they can't stand), and can't make a correct sentence in the local lingo.
Some of them say, even if indirectly, that they don't think about returning home, because of their committments (usually investment in the house).
To sum it up, the chances to find what one is looking for are pretty slim, like 1 to 10. Still, there are so many who are ready to take the chance. Maybe it's not that bad either, provided someone likes new experience. It still might be better than regretting not having tried.

Fieldgate, yes ,I did think about staying in Lesotho but decided against it because at that time I had young grandchildren and had already missed 2 years of thier growing up. I now have great grand children so except for traveling about 6 months a year, I will probably stay here in Phoenix.There were several expats in Lesotho that had been there for years but I must admit, most were ex Peace Corps or other ex volunteer people from various countrys.The average person would not adjust well to Lesothos remoteness, lack of most things we take for granted, difficuty in traveling etc.My solution was to buy a place in Rosarito Beach , Baja which I kept for 10 years while living in San Diego. I spent anywhere from a weekend to several weeks at a time there and really had the best of 2 worlds

...is there such a thing as permanent happiness with one place?

... the answer can't be a definite yes...unless it's said post mortem

..i keep moving but with hopes of temporary happiness/fun/peace/etc & usually achieve something positive...but then boredom, opportunity, or something else causes me to pick up again

...i used to enjoy the baja scene much like maseru...home in san diego, trailor just outside rosarito at popotla, then moving further south from the gringo creep put a motorhome at 4 seasons resort...again escaping the gringos by getting an apartment in the barrio section of ensenada & a job at the bajamar golf course riding the workers bus

...this worked great for a couple of years...putting up with the gringos on the golf course & laughing about them on the way home everynite with the workers

I'd say my time in Greece was a definite success for me Fieldgate. As I said, I'd probably still be there if I hadn't met my wife. That was the only reason I left. I didn't leave because I wasn't happy or able to adapt, I feel as at home there as anywhere.

It sounds like rather than looking for successful relocations, you are trying to assess the odds of it being a success. If that is the case I would agree with your 1 in 10 guesstimate. That's what I found to be the case in Greece. The problem is there is no way to know until you try, whether you will adapt or not.

How many of you took very little stuff from home, to your foreign shores, and actually used it?

80% import duty, here in Spain !
ouch !

How many of you guys took a siut and actually wear it?

We only wear them for halloween.

Its just stuff.

Spent several wonderful years living in Mexico....in the Yucatan. I learned Spanish, and speak it quite fluently...people should not be afraid of learning a new language, if the will is there, you will learn.
The culture and the people makes it worth while. The reason I'm back in Canada is the health system here, and the Canadian pension rules. Many Americans do make Mexico into their permant country. So far, not that many Europeans have made this move.

it seems to be that you should go find success stories in the places you are considering. if you talk to people online or in your home town, they are probably not the most successful stories. if you go to the places you like, and see a white person who looks like you, then there is your success story. or, talk to foreigners around you and ask them if they are staying in your town? that could be a success story. i

When this thread first started it reminded me of the poster by the name of Infomex. (Roberto)
He moved to Banos Ecuador several years ago and has seemingly fully integrated into the
local community. His "retirement" is definitly an active one, and very busy for someone over
70, but he seems to be loving it. Even the earthquakes and belching of the local volcano has
failed thus far to cause him to consider leaving. His blog address is on his profile page, although
he doesn't take the time to post here much anymore. I think someone would have a hard time
making the case he'd moved to another country in retirement and wasn't happy.

Don't buy a house for the 1st year and a half. Don't fall in love too much with the first place you land. More magic is down the road.

And if you think that things really work by regulation or law alone, guess again.
There may be inadvertant gratuities involved...
"La mordida".

You have to learn to see things from a little different point of view.

Like the body language. Or what we may consider rudeness, may just be thier being absorbed in thier own business.

When you get stuck behind an old couple or baby carrage, etc., on a sidewalk; Its your chance to look up at window decor or architecture details.

And ask yourself again, "What's my hurry anyway. Slower lifestyle is one thing we're after."

This Texan has lived in Sevilla 4.3 years in total. I took 6 months off, to return to Texas. Then wound up in Quepos, CR for 6 months (very happily). Serindipty rules!

But Sevilla and new extended family kept calling me back.

And
I no longer have to be slave to a car ! Libertad!

Like the Spanish say, "I'd rather be happy than rich."

of course any texan...other than maybe the exceptional autinite... would feel comfortable in quepos....but for the rest of the world quepos is the 51st state...it's been exposed for decades

.. spain is long past its heyday of freespirits as well

...the places to go today are rarely suggested on the thorntree

Like the Spanish say, "I'd rather be happy than rich."
It reminds me of another Polish saying "Happines lives under thatched roof".

.. spain is long past its heyday of freespirits as well

It's not only Costa Blanca. The country is big enough for every freespirit. Any country is.

Why do people always assume things are either/or? I'd rather be happy AND rich.

Another reason not to buy a house; I understand most expats last about two years. Then for whatever reason (pay back time with aging parents, business, depression over missing home or crosses drug from the past ) they go home or try other supposed paradises.

Ya gotta make amens or settle account before this huge change in your life. Otherwise it'll drive ya nuts.

In AA they have us make amens when possible. Half the time we got the wrong impression in the first place. Sure makes one thirsty.

....rich, healthy & anonymous

Home is where the heart is. If you are not content with your life for internal reasons, living in another country is not going to be a success.

yup. running from doesn't work.

The inside baggage can't be stored in lockers. It hounds you. Be free. Move to, not from.

yup. running from doesn't work.

The inside baggage can't be stored in lockers. It hounds you. Be free. Move to, not from.

Go to a country you're interested in anyway. Go to expat bars. Ask old timers, the good and bad parts of living in that country or region.

When you make thaqt huge change in life, don't take much stuff with you. You won't really use it anyway.

Its yesterday stuff. Your life is either a new start, or its not.