Fixing up Harry

Part 20 of THE WORRY COLLECTIVE

My husband and I are so pleased to have Wills squared away.
Although the open bar back at Bucks was perhaps not such a good idea with all those disgraceful family lushes hanging about. And I’m not talking about Catherine’s relatives.
It could have been worse, but someone forgot to send Ginger an invite. Oh dear.

The one I’m really worried about is Harry. Little blighter has The Firm paying child support to sundry bints the world over. The sooner the randy sod is off the market the better.

But I’m over Sloan Ranger gals. Seems they are so repressed when young they break out in middle age and cause all sorts of embarrassment. What we need for Harry is a young lady who's lived hard and fast in her youth and has worked all that nonsense out of her system. I’m thinking one of those backpacker lasses from Thailand would fit the bill naicely.
And because they come up against those sleazy old sex tourists so often, one should have no problem dealing with Philip, who frankly is getting worse than ever. I can’t employ any scullery maid under 65 these days. And even then she needs to fleet on her feet. - BETTY
.
TWC+ -Not too sure Harry would go for backpacker babes, Ma‘am. +TWC’s bpb correspondent+ Terrence Tryhard reports most these days are unfortunately in an intense relationship with those serial-seducers +Macca’s+ and +Krispy Kreme. Unless Harry is a closet chubby-chaser he might be less than gruntled.
Terrence says a sleek Thai bargirl might be just the ticket - she has certainly lived hard and fast in her youth. And if Harry selects from Patpong’s Ballistic Banana Club she will come with the ability to nail Phil with a dart or five when he gets out of line.
+++++++++++

For seekers of low grade satire, the Parts 1-19 of THE WORRY COLLECTIVE are here . The humour is no better, but some people enjoy the pictures.
Speaking of which, I've managed to come up with a reasonable one for Fixing up Harry, but if any of you guys find something better, send in a link and perhaps a caption.

I'm curious tezzy - how come you only shaved the top half of your arms - it kinda spoils the all over hairy look
hairy tezzy

And another thing
you still haven't given me this girls number

anyway - bollocks to the wedding. it's still on TV in the UK where they have yet to realise the rest of the world has forgotten about it already

You what Tessa ?

Uh Oh!

Tezza I'm ashamed of you even Harry has his standards. In any case he only likes blondes.

ana - that's Sylvana from Sebastapol. She's generous of bosum by thrifty with phone numbers. Unless you are an oil olygark with a condo in Krabi.

Two tone sun tan comes from wearing cool tezza-design long-john style lycra surfing suit with forearm cut offs for speedy paddling. Got a built in Akubra style slouch hat so all those Japanese and Brit pretend-surfers sitting around all day on Bondi Beach can pretend they are dinky-di Aussie surf legends.
Outfit's gonna make me a fortune when it catches on. So far it hasn't caught on.

f_cg - I've seen more than one blonde Thai bar girl.

See!

You can't kid me tbl+ - trend-crazy aesthetes like you and monarchists Farty +(aihia) were glued to the screen fretting on whether Brit could pull a winner in the dress stakes rather than some Carnaby St scream like Lady D's doozer.

Farty! Stone the crows kemosabe, got another handle!! That has to be your 321st. Since Christmas.

^^ Ahh but the great thing about having a Monarchy (please spell it with a capital, there's no necessity for impudence) is that it makes you a servant of the Commonwealth. And let's face it tezza - you would be broke if you weren't

As the Barmy Army so kindly reminded you all during the recent Ashes tour....

God Save Your Gracious Queen

Ah well, so long as the Act of Settlement of 1701 is observed....... might be rather fun if Harry married a Thai lass. Good post btw Tezza.

The word monarchy is not spelt with a capital letter.

No CC - the word monarchy isn't spelt with a capital but when you refer to the Monarchy it is. Along with Queen, Regina, Prince, Royal, Consort. A bit like saying captain and courageous are not spelt with a capital. Or does that include australian, aboriginal, and criminal?

Now, where are those ashes?

Crikey ana,+ sounds like you been attending Prof Fart’s English tutorials. Hint: give the ones on relative pronouns the big miss. Farty is on a mission to +put the toff+ back in the English language and has banned the word +who. He hasn’t earned the aka Dr Whom for nothing.

And you dudes can’t bait me about sport. The Barmy Army is super popular in Australia. As is the England team when playing well. Whom cares if the ashes stay in blighty? My manhood does not shink if “my” team loses. I watch sport to see good matches, not to affirm my worth as a person.

I could be churlish and mention whom won last time England played Oz in soccer.
But that’s history. Right now is what counts. I can see a WORRY COLLECTIVE coming up from England manager Fabio Capello.

FC ‘Allo. I worry about team morale. Lads need some relax an' a easy win or two. My cousin, he got resort on Ko Lanta - we go stay, soak up some sun and win a few games against local side. Lift team, no risk.

TWC Not too sure that’s such a good idea Fabe. Our footbball researcher tells me Gerhart Rahn whom was a reserve back for Bayern Munich back in the 70s lives on Lanta with his 17 y.o. Thai g.f. He could form the nucleus of a pretty good team made up of local youngsters - from all accounts the Baan Sala Dan High School under 16s^^ are playing well.
Maybe you should pick an island with a smaller talent pool. Know anyone with a resort on Ko Bu Bu?

^^girls’ league

?

Strewth Farty - forget the ?+ - you is supposed to say +Whom?

15# FC ‘Allo. I worry about team morale. Lads need some relax an' a easy win or two. My cousin, he got resort on Ko Lanta - we go stay, soak up some sun and win a few games against local side. Lift team, no risk
crock a bollocks - whom should believe everything one reads in the newspapers - besides, FC's Ingleesh ain't that good