Travelling alone - anxious, scared even.

Thanks for all the replies, much appreciated. My company is just UK based so no chance of a move. I could work away as I am working on computer but I'm not sure they would agree to this!

I do need to figure out what I want from life as I'm confused and end up doing everything in half mesures, so never fully achieve what I want.

The main reason I want to keep in the design field is so I'm employable if and when I return, it's hard getting a furniture design job and employers like experience.

I don't want to travel with my current friends I want to put myself in a position where I have to make new friends, improve my confidence and communicating skills.

There are some interesting ideas raised on this thread. As others have noted, travelling alone is not for everyone but I think it is great that you want to give it a try, even if you end up deciding it isn't your preferred method of travel.

A few things stood out to me from what you said.

1. A day alone in Thailand isn't really a good thing to judge how travelling alone will go especially since it sounds like you weren't really out and about that day.

2. If you do travel alone there will be days, quite a few of them probably, when you will end up completely alone. You do have to be ok with that and prepared for it. I've been travelling alone for years (not every trip) and while I've had some amazing experiences with people I've just met I've also had plenty of days or even weeks when I've ended up not really connecting with anyone.

Having said that though travelling alone is still something I love to do. I love being forced out of my comfort zone, I love the fact that it is so much easier to meet people when I don't have the fall back option of a friend. I also love the fact that there are plenty of great people in the world who when they notice you are alone will extend an invitation to you.

Couchsurfing sites can be a good option. I'd actually recommend not staying with people (if cash isn't a big factor). Stay in a hostel where you're likely to meet lots of people and then use couchsurfing to meet up with people either to get shown around the city or just as a social thing. A lot of cities have fairly active couchsurfing scenes. As a boring middle aged lady much of it isn't my thing but I've still met a lot of interesting people even in the limited number of activities I've gone along to.

I also second the idea of looking into WHVs. As a UK person you've got options in a lot of countries (I'd skip Europe for now, you can work there anytime). Why not head somewhere like Australia with a WHV. Travel around a bit, try to land some work. I'm sure you'll have no trouble meeting people if you are doing that.

Good luck.

And you wont be alone in Bhutan as it was a country where you needed to join a tour to gain entry. Not sure if that still applies.

Hi, Just to say thanks for all your help, having used a cycling forum a lot I know it's frustrating when you spend time helping someone for them not to say thanks!

"I love being forced out of my comfort zone" this is what I need to do, as in the past 2 years I've gone from someone happy with life to someone who is scared to fly and generally feeling a bit scared of living my life!

Anyway thanks again and hopefully i can use this forum to help others in the future.

I'm 25 and left a quiet town in the UK (Hereford) to fly to Delhi as the first stop on my first ever solo travelling trip.

It scared the hell out of me at first, but I made a decision to go in at the metaphorical deep end culture shock wise to help me 'man-up' a bit. For the first week it seemed like a terrible idea, I even did a camel safari that consisted of just me, the guide and the camelman (not forgetting 'Larry' the camel). After this first week though I began to understand the sheer freedom of what I'd set out to do and fell in love with travelling.

After the first month I met a friend from home and we travelling together for a couple of months. We had some great times, but having to agree on what to do and dealing with each other day in day out grew old and we were both much happier after we went seperate ways. We are still good mates now.

That first trip was meant to last 4 - 6 months but ended up lasting 22 months.

Most places you go you should find it very easy to hook up with fellow travellers. I met an Irish guy in Nepal and ended up also meeting him in Malaysia to do the PADI course and in Indonesia for surfing.

Some of my best friends now are the ones i met travelling. In Phnom Penh I met a couple at a bus stop but we were going seperate ways. I then met them on Si Phan Don and finally again in Pakse. At that point I just joined them and we travelled for 2 months together. When I moved to Australia a couple of months later I ended up working with one of and eventually both of them.

Sure I've had a few times where I've been a little on my own but for the most part, travelling completely on your own is a choice you can make whilst you're out there. You'll get increasingly better at meeting people as you go along.

I traveled with a guy who was a real bum. A bludger.

But I woe him. He made me a solo traveler from then on.
I can go back to a sight or museum to study one thing only. I can start my day after the hostel breakfast (served till 10 a.m.)
The late riser wastes every travel-mate's day.

And I can eat where I want when I want.

And if I feel like moving on, I do it now.
And everybody solo pulls their weight.

"I even did a camel safari that consisted of just me, the guide and the camelman (not forgetting 'Larry' the camel)."

Haha! sounds terrible!! Funny in hindsight!

Hereford is supposed to be really nice, my parents love it there!

The trip was actually brilliant in an odd way. The camelman spoke no English, the guide spoke a tiny amount - we exchanged our feebly basic words which came in handy down the line.

The place I did it was also really untouristy - at no point during the 3 days did I have any person hassle me for money, school pens and the like. I got to see some pretty untouched villages and drank chai with one of the chiefs.

I woke up during the first night in the desert to take a leak, and it was whilst looking up at this massive ridiculously clear starry sky above a huge desert with almost no-one around, that I thought 'Damn, this is cool', and became a lot more appreciative or where I was and what I was doing.

Sure there were a few wobbles after that that, but for the most part that first night in the desert sorted me out!

Hereford is really nice if you're a parent, grandparent, great grandparent, great great grandparent.... I think the 'like' of the place goes up with age. It's pretty but dull to me unfortunately.

The first few days I was solo proper I was at Lake Egirdir in Turkey. It was dead quiet, I freaked out a little and spent most of my time writing in my travel diary and eating cheap bread and pop keks, it was awful! Half of me was determined to stay there until I was enjoying myself, but then I realised I could do whatever I want so I got on a bus and left. I ended up having an awesome trip, meeting lots of locals and doing things that I wouldn't have done if my friends were there. I also had a few wobbly days when I first got to Africa, Dar es Salaam, probably the culture shock. Also I was ill. I spent quite a lot of time on the phone to my Mum! There's probably always going to be the odd lonely day, where you wish your friends were there or that you were back home, but the good days will outweigh the bad, and if you don't like somewhere then you can just go somewhere else!

I think a lot of the things that you worry about you just get on with when you're actually out there. You do get used to sorting things out on your own and striking up conversations with strangers, if you're in need of some conversation, and it definitely gives you a lot more freedom to do things spontaneously. I love going out for dinner on my own and chatting to the waiters, and I usually enjoy seeing historic sites a lot more on my own. You get very tuned in to your whims. I regularly go on European city breaks, where I can wander around on my own during the day taking photos, and then usually hook up with people from the hostel in the evening. I'm a late riser so one of the things I enjoy most is having a lie-in knowing that I'm not annoying anyone, or that I won't be woken up by someone slapping a pillow in my face!

If you're somewhere fairly touristy then you can always join a day tour if you're feeling a bit isolated. I also like to meet up with people with common interests (usually foodies or photographers), through blogs or forums. Haven't tried Couchsurfers but intend to on my next trip. I've never worked abroad but it seems pretty easy to pick up hostel/promotions work in popular places whilst you're on the go. Also check out Workaway.info for work placements, it's in exchange for food and board rather than pay, like WWOOFing, but they have some interesting projects in some quite unusual places and it can make your budget go just a little bit further.

The worst thing about travelling on your own is that no-one is that interested in your photos when you get home, because they're not in them, and you have no-one close to hand to reminisce with! Half of the reason I started travelling on my own was because none of my friends wanted to go to the places that I did, or do the same things. Now I would only travel with a select few people, and not for any length of time. I get a bit crabby if I don't get my space!

PS as with the camel safari above, even the awful experiences usually turn into quite good stories with a little time and distance!
Edited by: vendavel

Edited by: vendavel

Hi, i made several shorter (3 to 5 week) trips on my own, and found it scary the first time as well, don't be embarrased.
Meeting people on the road happens easily, in hostels, buses, at sites... I think that socialising while traveling is much easier than in "real life". You always have something in common (you both choose to travel to this special place at the same time), which makes it easy to start a conversation.

Getting confident (obviously) doesn't happen overnight, so don't be put off in the beginning if you are not feeling comfortable right away. Although i really enjoyed traveling solo from the start, it was after a few trips that i realised i had become totally confident and comfortable with it.

And finally, i think traveling solo is not only about finding ways to meet other people, but also about finding ways to get along with your own company. You're not guaranteed to meet people all the time, it is likely to spend one or more days alone as well. If you feel okay while you're alone, you don't have to worry about meeting others so much. Good luck!