Fifth voice of caution here.
Ruth raises legitimate questions, based on the OP ("horrible life-sucking job", "Midlife crisis?", etc.). Travel is not a magic solution for life's problems. No one is assuming or diagnosing, only asking questions.
--Greg
I don't believe that the "cautious" posters have read my post properly.
What i suggested was a 3 month test, a break, a get away from it all, time for reflection.
I'm talking from real experience of this situation, as i noted earlier, regarding one of my friends who was in a similar situation to the OP.
If that is do-able, at no risk to the OP ( if he can still retain his work position) it is a perfect solution for someone to try to find what is going to make them happy.
In the end, that person may decide that they actually love their present life, and just undervalued what they had. and on the other hand, they might find that a change is indeed needed.
Additionally, please note that i have NEVER told anyone to just throw caution to the wind and just go off and do something.
If you re-read my posts properly, i responded to the OP's request for personal experiences and suggested that he TRY something.
Sometimes people don't want others to have these opportunities because they cannot bear the thought that others will have a better opportunity at being happy than themselves.
Me, personally, i am very happy, never lonely, because i have my partner, i have a successful business, and can choose to set down roots again at any time i wish, any country i wish, or i can just continue experiencing as much of this beautiful world as i possibly can.
Right, now back to that balcony and that beach.
You sound like a couple of teenagers arguing at the beach. For goodness sake, make up and be friends!
OP, I hope you learned something from this spat:)
Ok I'd like to chip in with a positive note. You say you have no kids. This is the #1 reason that most people don't travel, for fear of disturbing schooling etc. You don't have this problem. You have a house. You can rent this out whilst testing out your new lifestyle. Then you still have a house to come back to later. If your job pays well I guess you don't stack shelves in your local supermarket. If you have a good education & good experiance it might not be too hard to find a replacement job in 6 months or so. Why don't you apply for jobs like yours & see what responce you get. Then you will know what chance you have of getting another well paid job again.
ricky:
I'm assuming you are not a native English speaker based both on your poor spelling and your seemingly weak comprehension skills. So, let me help you out a little.
Nowhere did I
don't reccomend a business
I simply pointed out that not everyone has the skill set necessary to do what you were advocating. In fact I even said that if he did have a skill set that would allow a mobile business he should investigate it.
Assumptions that the OP is depressed, when nobody has any idea who the OP is and when nobody on this forum is qualified and experienced to make a possible diagnosis of depression or any other medical condition.
There was no assumption that the OP was depressed. It was simply mentioned as a possibility for the OP to consider. He was the one who mentioned midlife crisis. The assumption seems to be yours when you say that nobody on this forum is qualified or experienced in making such a diagnosis. I'm pretty sure you'll find that at least one of the people posting has all the necessary qualifications.
Just because somebody has an idea that they might want to change their life, everybody jumps on the " your'e depressed" bandwagon.
Out of curiousity did you try counting (hint, you'll only need to use one hand) exactly how many people jumped on the 'you're depressed' bandwagon (note spelling of the word you're for future reference)? I'm wondering how you extrapolated that number to 'everybody'.
I apologise to the OP for all the hatred and name calling he has experienced here.
It is kind of you to want to apologise to the OP. If his reading skills are anything like mine it might be helpful if you give him some clues as to where this name calling has actually happened. Because I don't see any. And the only 'hatred' seems to be from you, directed at those of us who replied with different opinions to your own.
can choose to set down roots again at any time i wish, any country i wish
Statements like that clearly flag that you are just bullshitting. No one can choose to set down roots in 'any country they wish' unless of course they only plan to 'wish' for a very narrow range of countries. Are you not familiar with the concept of the visa? I'm wondering if you've travelled much at all.
OP I'm afraid this kind of wrangling is rather typical of what happens on this branch. You'll find many of us who do either live overseas or travel a lot for work (or a combination of the two) who love the lifestyle and yet manage to be realistic about what it entails. We're the ones who stick around here long term offering advice and suggestions and sharing our own stories. Then you'll find people like ricky who are full of 'piss and wind' and accuse anyone who disagrees with them of being old stick in the muds.
Good luck in figuring out what you want to do. You have a lot going for you and personally I think it is great you are considering escaping those golden handcuffs.
Edited by: purpletreefrog
"Well, i kinda done just what you are thinking about.
I left my well paid job, got my backpack on and off i went with just a pocketfull of Euros.
9 years later, i am still traveling, and i have a completely mobile business. All i need is my laptop and an internet connection.
I travel constantly, visiting, experiencing and living in whatever country i like.
It's a nomadic lifestyle, to be free from those corporate chains, and to just find what you like.
That's the key, and sometimes you just have to head off into the sunset to find what it is that you like."
Please tell me, where in that quoted text, which is my original response, did i tell OP what to do?
So, your assumptions are doubly wrong....firstly for assuming that i reccomended OP to go start a mobile business, and secondly, for assuming that OP has the skillset to do that.
Again, here, you see that you were the first person to ever mention assumption in this thread.
the act of assuming or taking for granted; "your assumption that I would agree was unwarranted" - an example of the word assumption.
A word of advice, if you are going to criticise other people, please ensure that you, yourself do not make mistakes.
Because then, that is when your assumptions become arrogant...
arrogance - overbearing pride evidenced by a superior manner toward inferiors
#1s advice obviously worked out for him but I wouldn't necessarily recommend it." = arrogance
There is no need to correct my spelling or to correct my comprehension.
In fact, if you read the rules of the forum, this behaviour is specifically banned.
"Statements like that clearly flag that you are just bullshitting. No one can choose to set down roots in 'any country they wish' unless of course they only plan to 'wish' for a very narrow range of countries. Are you not familiar with the concept of the visa? I'm wondering if you've travelled much at all." = arrogance, assuming that i am not telling the truth, when the truth is, you have absolutely know idea who i am, what i do, where i am, where i have travelled over the past 9 years.
Yes, i , aswell as most other normal people can choose to settle in any country they wish.
Of course, the obtaining of a visa is essential, but that is implied as a basic of the reality of travel.
"We're the ones who stick around here long term offering advice and suggestions and sharing our own stories. Then you'll find people like ricky who are full of 'piss and wind' and accuse anyone who disagrees with them of being old stick in the muds." = again, arrogance towards inferiors.
Yes, we both agree that this is typical of the Thorntree, not just this branch but the whole thorntree.
The BBC certainly didn't know what they were getting themselves into when they purchased the LP name.
Purpletreefrog, are you sure you are not Schizophrenic?
And for your convenience, here is the definition:
Schizophrenia ( or ) is a mental disorder characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality. It most commonly manifests as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking with significant social or occupational dysfunction.
Remember: just because you teach maths, it doesn't make you smart.
It just makes you arrogant, and you have a big history of telling people that they have no comprehension, don't you?......
"You don't seem to have great comprehension. I'm not arguing with your data, I'm arguing with your use of the word 'our'. If you had said 'my society' it would have made more sense. "
"Websterella once again you might want to work on your comprehension skills. Either that or read what I actually say."
Oh look, there's a pattern forming here, a history, you certainly do have some mind issues.
One would question if you should be teaching kids at all with this proven attitude?
But sometimes, even you don't comprehend:
"They are a colleague who I get along perfectly well with it would be stupid to upset the apple cart by questioning a behaviour that caused me 5 minutes of surprise and in no way affects (or is it effects, I can never get those straight) my daily life."
"See no matter how many times people tell me things like that I don't 'get it'.
Either that or they'd uncover my crappy state school education. "
So, don't lecture fellow posters on their abilities in writing english please.
Crawl away into your classroom (if there really is one), look at the kids, and ask, how much of my arrogance is being perceived by these children? how will this affect them in their lives?
The truth is, you really don't know.
Well, to get back to the OP's original question...
Though I'm one of those posters who advised caution, #1's suggestion of a trial run is good. It's what we did. We left in the summer with the children enrolled in school for the next year, packed our suitcases and left, telling everyone we'd in all likelihood be back in a couple of months. I had earlier set up at work an online system that allowed our collaborators to share data, so I was able to convince the boss that I could also work remotely for the summer. After a few months we found that working remotely was effective, the business we hoped to establish had hopes, and a good life in our new chosen country was possible. This doesn't mean that after two months all problems were solved, it took months more to finalize visa problems, get funding for the business, etc. But it was long enough to convince us that solutions were possible. So we returned to the States long enough to get a manager to take care of the home, told the schools we wouldn't be back, picked up a few items we had found impossible to live without, and returned to our new 'home'.
That being said, the notes of caution that many have voiced here are important. The OP mentions dissatisfaction with their current life, a love of travel, and asks if there is a better path for them. A life of travel, or life in a another country, may not be the best solution. At least, it's is certainly not the central point of a solution. Moving to a new country will solve few problems, and working while traveling is hard. It's not a step to take blindly. On the other hand, living in new countries offers a host of rewards that I suspect a lot of us 'cautionary' posters really enjoy. We want others to enjoy this too.
Unfortunately I know many expatriates who are unhappy, or who create an expatriate shell around themselves trying very hard to recreate the trappings of their home country. I'm not knocking this approach, for people posted abroad for just a few years, or whose marriage to someone who's job brings them abroad, that approach can make sense. But it's a constant reminder that changing your location is not a panacea. The people that are happiest abroad- and there are many- seem to be those that genuinely enjoy their job or whatever lifestyle they created for themselves. Thus, they have the energy to explore their new surroundings and attempt to integrate. They are the ones that can use being abroad to its fullest potential.
And so thus, my words of caution, and I suspect there is similar reasoning behind others' prudence. I believe more people should travel and live abroad; like the old saying, it really can broaden the mind. But make this step knowing well the problems inherent in that lifestyle. Most importantly, do so knowing what makes you happy and with a plan that helps you find that happiness while abroad. These seemed to be the OP's questions, so he should be commended for beginning this exploration on the right footing.
Good luck.
If you have a burning desire to travel, then go for it. But if you are travelling because you kind of like it and are not sure what else you should be doing, then packing up and heading overseas for the long-haul is probably not a good idea.
I agree having a sabbatical to go travelling sounds like a good option. Maybe you could even sell the house so there are no financial ties or stresses.
What kind of pharmaceutical work do you do? Have you looked at other jobs on offer in other industries? Maybe NGO work?
I had a life altering experience in Morocco right around my 30th birthday. I went home, called the Salvation Army and donated my furniture,quit my (soul sucking) job, and traded in my new car and payments for a clunker that ran for awhile, but had no payments. Then the poodle and the parrot and I jumped into the car and drove north, no particular destination. The car broke down in a small, semi-ghost town, population 400. I found a job as a waitress in a mom and pop greasy spoon, the kind that gave away free soup to the town drunks, and got a room behind a bar.
Ok, that was pretty crazy, my friends and family were horrified. Looking back 30 years later, it was one of the best stupid things I've ever done.
I'm not suggesting doing anything that radical. It worked for me, though.