Feeling GUILTY for wanting to be FREE

My husband is working hard to make things better. Problem is; I feel that I'm no longer the person I was. The longer I stick with it, the more I feel that I'm both hurting myself and him as well. But I don't know how to get away without being away.

You don't sound depressed to me - you sound that you just became sane! You are 28 - you sound like you have some money, you no kids to consider - get the hell out while you still can! If you partner is not closer to you than his mother you have a serious problem

No you are not mad thinking that having a "good" job, a good enough husband and controlling parents is not the be all and end all of life!

I would say if you are going go - and don't then spend you entire time on email and skype talking to the people at home - send them an email a week to say you are OK and where you are and what you are doing - but turn problematical relationships into long-distance problematical relationships.

Depending on your nationality you are still you enough to get a working visa in Australia and NZ

Edited by: midlifetravel

You are already free. Where you are in your life is the result of your decisions thus far. What I suggest is that you research what life might be like if you chose to up and leave. Do you know what it would be like for you to travel the world? A question that you might ask is 'What am I running from and what am I running to?' Where ever you go you take yourself with you.

Wishing you well.

So what couple doesn't wake up one day, sayng who is that stranger next to me? He or I ain't like we started.

Go backpacking for a month or two. Nothing will have changed. Noot even the mutual self pitty.

Get free of that asylum.

Pardon the jargon cliché but;" Life is not a dress rehersal."

So I just finally told my best friend about my desire to leave; that's the first person that actually know me as a real person that I've told. She thinks I'm just going through a tough time, that things will get better. I think if I tell anyone that knows me and my husband, they will all tell me that. I still feel like I need to go, that's the only thing that's keeping me sane at the moment; knowing that I can go soon.
I hate having to always be perfect; always thinking so carefully about the steps that I want to take. Other than knowing the places that I want to go to & saving money for it, I really just want to let loose for the first time in my life and let things just happen.

Freinds will try to talk you out of any adventure.
Always do.

They don't want you to be hurt or go against paradigm.

"I hate having to always be perfect; always thinking so carefully about the steps that I want to take."

Why do you think that you will change in another country?

Gawkabout
Yeah, people I know have always been very protective of me, so the idea of me traveling alone isn't going to go too well even if I disregard the whole situation I'm in. It doens't really help that I'm small as well. Well I guess if someone is going to attack you, big or small doesn't really matter right?

Rorygemwriter
Things will be different because there won't be anyone there that I love or care about for me to want to make them proud and happy. I'd just do what I want. Having a divorce within my culture (and super proud & proper family) was poorly looked upon but my mom divorced by dad because he cheated on her. So growing up my mom used to tell me "Jenny you need to be perfect, show everyone how smart, beautiful and successful you are so that people don’t look down on me as a single mother. Your older brother & sister came to this country older than you so it’s harder for them to adjust and speak the language so I’m counting on you”. So I got my straight A’s, scholarship throughout 4 years of university, graduated younger than most people in my class, became one of the youngest managers in a large corporation, married a momma’s boy (so yeah he met with everyone’s approval)…..and then what? Bad stuff happens and I then I look at my life, wondering what’s the purpose in my life and I realize that I haven’t done anything for myself. Maybe I don’t want to be a good person anymore. I want to start on a clean slate. Maybe I want to be a messed up Jenny (mentally I’m pretty messed up at the moment), but it’s just not exactly showing on the external yet.

Here's a quote I picked up and liked from someone on the internet "I find that the older I get, the less I care about what people think of me, therefore the older I get, the happier I am"

I want to start on a clean slate.

There are no clean slates. The past will follow you in one form or another.

There are always people who love you and whom you love.

There are NO geographic cures. You want to be different someplace else, you need to start making changes in who you are not where you are. That doesn't necessarily mean quitting your job, leaving your husband or moving from home.

Ruth