And how long before you just want to go home?

Well after one year abroad I am dead tired. Dead tired of being the odd person out. Different language, skin color and culture. What was once fascinating and exciting is now just a hassle. I dont like the locals and feel they dont like me. Well you get the picture. I am on my way home for a while to recharge and just have an easy time back home among my own people. So let me hear it from you, how long is your capacity before you have to get back. Or are some people capable of staying in a very different culture forever?

I think it depends a bit on the situation - I mean, I'm an aussie and live in London so relatively speaking the culture gap isn't huge and what really wears me out is stuff like the weather, how awkward it is to get things done here at times etc (and I'm trying not to give the impression that I'm whinging).

I managed 4 years before going home for a visit but then about 18 months the next time around (younger brother was going home at the same time so thought I'd surprise the parents). It would have been about 18 months between trips home this time around too but my parents have just been over and I've got more family and friends over later this month so it seems a bit pointless going home. No idea when I'll go home next now.

what a question? of course there is people who stay in a different culture forever. i have been out of my country for 12 years. i visit every 1,5 years or so for family reasons. i dont miss it. and i prefer the fact that i chose where to live. it was me who wanted to come here not just the accident of birth. even so, i am very happy for my passport. what a hassle it can be if you got the "wrong" one. "home" is not the country where i was born and where i grew up.

I agree with #2, home is not necessarily the country where you were born and raise. I feel more at home than I do in Australia, but I don't fully feel at home in London, I'm only one step closer to it if you get what I mean. I hope to live overseas for years on end, eventually i want to freelance so I can make longer trips home whilst living overseas.

I think a recharge back home is a good idea, travelling isn't always for everyone but at least you tried it. That's much better than all the dreamers back home.

i find it easier to travel 3 months, then settle in a country to work where i am surrounded by people who speak the same language, and live similar lifestyles, also then i can make friends and actually have a relatively normal life for a while! but then again, i have done 2 year long working holidays (currently on the 3rd) and i have been home between each trip. i've come to the conclusion that for me travelling is a hobby and no longer a lifestyle! so i am only 3 months into this trip and although looking forward to this adventure i am also truly looking forward to going home... oz is still home for me :-)

I've been away from 'home' for the majority of the last ten years...some of it travelling, some of it working. This is the longest stint without a recharge, coming up to three years now, but circumstances have changed so much at home now, that even when I'm craving random conversations with my brother over home brew ginger beer (guess you have to have experienced it to understand how great it is, both conversation AND ginger beer) I'm almost aprehensive about going back.

Still trying to find the place that feels like home I guess. This place certainly isn't, but I'm stuck here for a while and it's seriously getting me down. 'Home' doesn't feel like home anymore either, but then it never really has, and it's lost whatever charm it once held.

Maybe it is time for a recharge.....need to get out of this 'where's home funk' and just get on with living!!

I was away from Britain for almost a year in very different cultures (mostly India and Pakistan). I didn't have any big desire to come back and still hanker to be back out there. I guess it depends what feels like 'home' to you. Of course there were certain luxuries I missed at times, and I certainly missed friends & family, but I was much happier out there and felt more alive than I ever do there.

Homes really is where the heart is regardless of whether its miles from your birth place or your childhood home. During my 40 odd years of travel running the gauntlet of working hols, staying years, and quick visits the most important factor in any equation is the people you are with. If you are happy with the company you are with - everything else falls into place including homesickness, coping with sometimes bizarre or very funny situations arising from language, culture or religious differences. Without it - the travel or experience becomes meaningless after a while. There are very few people who are naturally hermits and the people you associate with make or break your experiences - including at home. (Im not talking here of just a couple of weeks, Im talking long term months at a time).

The bigger the contrast from your old lifestyle, the more difficult the chances can be of finding true friendship. Theres nothing quite like a friend who accepts you 'warts and all'.

Ask yourself - do you want to come home for the people you left behind or the view from Mums dining room window?

Time away for me - 3 years the longest, now I only so short stints as there are other considerations.

Yes I agree the people are ultimately what matters. Well I have decided to go back for a while. Travelling is still going to be a part of my life but probably not the same way as before and I think the sheer fascination of just being in Asia has worn off. It was to be expected I guess. Well something else is that I realize now that making friends across cultures is possible but as above poster wrote I do miss the beer drinking culture back home a lot. Ok great to hear from others living abroad.

Is it a bit sad that watching Kath and Kim made me just a tiny bit nostalgic for home?

The answer is in the question.
Lately I have begun to do some soul searching too. The reason I will be going home after 15 years away is that this place has changed.
I had gotten used to doing without the comforts I left back home in echange for the tranquility of a lower less complicated standard of living. My values were more in line with the people I found living here. Now a rising standard of living and the changing values of a younger generation not only takes away my tranquility, it makes me a target for prejudice. Slowly I have been losing my own identity, like me or hate me based on knowing me, and slipped into a collective identity, categorized by people who do not know me.

This is a complicated question. You assume that home is where you were born but for many who move overseas this is not the case. Home is where they live and the place of their birth is just another place to visit to see relatives now and again.

If you are still calling the place of your birth home, then you haven't adapted to your new home. Perhaps this means that living overseas is not for you in the long run or that the ties you have to your home country are stronger than those you have to your current country of residence. Perhaps you are not living in a country that you like. If you are looking for a beer drinking culture than I don't think you will find this in Asia. You might be better suited to living in parts of Europe.

I currently live in Bangkok. Lots of people tell me that they would love to get a job and live here but honestly visiting a place as a tourist is very different from living there. That is not to say that Bangkok is terrible but there are lots of prejudices and difficulties that aren't obvious on the surface to a traveler that become more noticeable and more annoying when you live someplace. Of course, then I stop and think that my home country had many such annoyances and I would rather be here in Thailand doing the work that I do than back there doing what I was doing.

No place is always great all the time. For me, home is where I live and work, not where my extended family and old friends are located.

In answer to your final question, yes, there are some people who move overseas and never look back to their birthplace as home. This doesn't mean that they never visit. Simply that they visit, they don't go home. But they the same is true for someone from the country who moves to the city. It really doesn't have to be to a different country.

For those who say that home is made home by the people who surround you, I would counter that given today's ease of long distance communication, one doesn't need to live in the same city or country with good friends to have a long, enduring and close relationship. Such friendships go beyond country borders for me and I find myself planning my vacations and coordinating my travels so as to include those good friends wherever they are located.

Ruth

Moving home for some is as easy as changing their hat. For others as Everbrite says, it never happens. Their home is always where they grew up and it is quite likely they will never be happy living anywhere else. It isn't a question of good or bad, it is simply the way it is for each of us individually.

For me home is where I hang my hat today and if I hang it somewhere else tomorrow that will be home as well.

As always, I like Ruth's comments. I live in Thailand also - on Phuket. I've lived overseas since 1989 and have no real desire to return to my native country. I like where I live, warts and all.

Sure, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live there again, but my trips home every few years tend to help me see that I like where I am better.

Yup I am not really excited about my current residence, I might give Thailand a try though. It is definately my first option. Even though I complain I'd still like to og to South America, Africa and so on. Guess I just need a breather and some local food..

interesting topic! I'm in the process of getting the paperwork etc... done to leave/work overseas and it's very daunting. I did stints abroad when I was studying, but never more than 1 year at a time. Now, I will be gone at least 2 years but that 2 years might turn into forever... yikes! I am of course very excited and looking forward to it (otherwise I wouldn't be doing it!) but part of me wonders how long I will last before the longing for home becomes unbearable (if ever! but it's hard to get used to the idea now that I may never come back "home" permanently)

As you were only there for a year sounds like you were only on an extended holiday anyway - if you don't like it you are better off going home.

I find that it can be still challenging after one year. You might still think 'there's no place like home'.
After two years you get in the swing of the new country. Life gets easier, you'll find better friends who stick with you, petty annoyances seem silly instead and not so annoying.
After 2.5 years or so, home is where you are, not where you're from.
If you go back after 3 years, you'll feel like a fish out of water, and your adopted country is more like home than where you were born. People in your home country seem strange, narrow minded, and dull!

I still am wistful about Gumare Botswana (Jan 84-Dec 86) though I know it is NOT the same place as when I was there. Heck, they have electricity and a tarred road all the way there now!
And I often wish I was back in China.

been away for 20 years now and home is always where i feel the most comfortable. i got to the stage where home was thailand, even when i was living and working elsewhere

now i consider home is indonesia but who knows about the future

Ruth in Canada has a good point. One year is actually not enough time to really know a place. I found a definite difference after 3 years.

I found that the local people were used to 'foreigners' coming and staying for a year or two and then going back home. Because of that and the fact that a lot of those who did come to live being a waste of space types, they tended to adopt a 'wait and see' attitude. After 3 years I guess they figured you are going to stay and they want from being reasonably friendly to totally accepting.

Tx everybody.

I'm having one of those weekends where I could quite happily go home tomorrow......

Trying to stay here for a couple more years.