Teaching my girlfriend English

Hello!

I'd like to teach my (Colombian) girlfriend English, and was wondering if any of you (perhaps TEFL-types) could recommend a book or two. She's not a total beginner though (she can get by, just not have a conversation). We'll both be living in Colombia.

Thanks v much!

S

Pimsleur English for Spanish Speakers is a good start, but it is expensive. You can probably find it as a free download on the Internet.

Good luck! The only time she will be expected to actually use English is with you, and I would bet that your Spanish is a LOT better than her English, so more than likely you will be speaking Spanish with her a lot of the time.

Been there, done that and own the t-shirt! My Spanish after nearly 8 years is still better than my wife's English. We speak Spanish at home and when we go out. You're fighting a losing battle unless she is one of the lucky folks that learning languages comes very easy to them.

You're fighting a losing battle

Whew, that's a bit of a generalization, isn't it? Maybe OP's girlfriend wants to learn English? Even people who have no particular talent for learning languages can get quite far if they set their mind to it.

(I feel I need to counter-balance the gloom: My parents grew up in different languages. They both speak the other's language.)

You can get a lot of tips at
www.eslcafe.com

The only time she will be expected to actually use English is with you

You would imagine the OP were proposing to teach his girlfriend Chechen, Finnish, or Lao...or some other language with limited practical application. I suspect, however, that fluency in English would be considered an enhancement to a c.v. in Colombia, just as it would it in practically every other corner of the world.

OP, textbooks are ultimately a poor substitute for conversational practice, and the best way to teach your gf English is simply to speak English with her as much as possible. A textbook should be, at most, a supplement. Since textbook availability is highly localized, it's difficult to make specific recommendations, but I will say look for something published in an English-speaking country by a respected educational publisher: Pearson, Cambridge UP, etc. Locally published textbooks are almost always rubbish. For starters, you might look for Betty Azar's Grammar series (google it: TT isn't letting me embed the link for whatever senseless reason) since that's one that's available in great many countries all over the world.

Edited by: zashibis

As someone who started to learn Spanish without any basics and from a friend, I agree that nothing beats conversational practice, with a grammar book and dictionary to clear up points that native speakers don't usually need to think about, but might pose problems for the learner. Reading simple books is also useful to build up vocabulary and sentence structure.

The only thing I would really insist on is deciding, at least at first, to speak only one language at a time. We did it by doing one hour my teaching her English, then switched to one hour her teaching me Spanish. The biggest factor is motivation.

OP, textbooks are ultimately a poor substitute for conversational practice, and the best way to teach your gf English is simply to speak English with her as much as possible. A textbook should be, at most, a supplement.

I completely agree, based on my own experience with my partner (Brazilian). Something that helped enormously was his desire to learn and willingness to be corrected. This (both giving and receiving correction) can be difficult for some people at first but it has become second nature to us. He even gets annoyed with me when he's aware that he made a mistake but I didn't correct him. At first, his spoken English was really limited, but now he speaks way better than all his friends who have been in London as long as or longer than him.

The only thing I would really insist on is deciding, at least at first, to speak only one language at a time.

I can see the sense in this but we've always chopped and changed - or had mixed conversations (with either of us speaking either language). Often I'll say something in English and then ask how he would say it in Portuguese (and vice versa), if it involves new vocabulary/a new construction etc.

"More coffee, lady?"

When I tutored English, one of my students was a busboy who told me that his coworkers (busboys, all foreign-born) told him that it was wrong to use "lady" as he did in that question, but they couldn't explain why. I told him that we usually use "lady" in direct address only to indicate some degree of exasperation: "Lady, would you please move your car? It's blocking my driveway!"

I think that one of the most important functions a native speaker can perform is to explain (to the extent possible) the nuances of the language.

In the case of this busboy, I think that "More coffee, ma'am?" would have been perfect, while his own form of the question might have sounded as if it bordered on rude.

#8 - you make some interesting points. I was thinking about this yesterday, in the context of second-language English speakers in London. I have the impression that people are very forgiving of grammar mistakes - and Londoners spend much of their time communicating with people who aren't native speakers of English - but failure to use appropriately polite language can cause irritation.

shilgia, No, I don't think that's to much of a generalization UNLESS perhaps the OP doesn't speak Spanish. Then I would say, "it depends".

I had 4 years of on and off study of Spanish when I met my (future) wife, but I certainly was not at the conversational stage. My wife was just beginning to study English. Since I had so much more vocabulary in Spanish than she did in English, it was easier to converse in Spanish, so even though she has taken English classes now for nearly 7 years, my Spanish did not stagnate and continues to outstrip her English, so when the complex subjects of running a household, an family of 6 and a business are part of the day to day conversation, it's much easier to have error free communication in Spanish, rather than in English.

Also, and this may be unique to México, the English classes taught in the schools here in Sinaloa are not what I would call English as a second language classes, since they concentrate on grammar, grammar and more grammar and give very little instruction in vocabulary and pronunciation.

#10, as nutrax's signature line reminds us every day: "the plural of anecdote is not data."

In this case, however, we don't even have "the plural"; we simply have one anecdote. To extrapolate from your personal experience with your wife into a sweeping statement about native Spanish-speakers ability and/or motivation to learn English is not merely a generalization, it is an odious generalization.

If you demand "error free communication," though, then your poor spouse never stood a chance. Most people, however, are a little more generous with their life-partners.

Guys - there's way too much tension out here!!

To go back to my original post, She needs to learn English because I will only be in Colombia for a year - after that, she may leave with me. I speak pretty decent Spanish. And that's the problem - while we can communicate very well, neither of us have that much patience to do it in English. So I figured that if I could find a semi-fun book of e.g. grammar exercises, it would force us to speak English, for at least 1 hour each time.

I'm in the UK at the moment, so figured that it would be better (and cheaper) to get the stuff out here.

Thanks again

S

Tense? Who's tense? Just call 'em like I see 'em.

But it looks like mazgringo was right in this instance: if neither of you "have that much patience" to actually speak English, than the textbook doesn't exist that'll be of much use, even if there were such a thing a "semi-fun" grammar exercises.

I agree that grammar exercises seem like the least fun way to go about this! Many learners would kill (you know what I mean) for the opportunity to practise conversation regularly with a native speaker.

Yeah, but it's just a way of focussing, isn't it? It's hard, otherwise, because my Spanish is pretty fluent, so it's just too natural to slip back into it.

If you are fluent in Spanish, and it's "just to natural to slip back into it," I would suggest that you need self-discipline more than you need a book of any kind. If you set aside 30 minutes as "English-only" time, it must be up to you not to slip back into Spanish during that period.

I am fairly fluent in Spanish, and the vast majority of students in my tutoring group were from Central or South America, but we spoke no Spanish in the group. I told new students that they very likely would discover that they could communicate in English better than they thought they could. You may not know the word "uncle," but you can say "my father's brother," or "my cousin's father." If you don't know the word "dog" or "cat," you can say "animal" and have people guess from the context which animal you mean. When they ask "a dog?" or "a cat?" you learn the word itself.

It's not easy to see someone struggling to say something sensible when you can just interrupt with the right word or phrase, but I think that your girlfriend won't make much progress in English until you discipline yourself to help her in some similar fashion.

Good luck!

So, you are on a great job man. You can take help from "Teaching English as a Foreign or Second Language: A Teacher Self-development and Methodology Guide", this a nice book for beginners. Don't forget to have a good conversation with her.This will also help you a lot. Good Luck!!

Love is said to be a bad teacher...

Semi-fun grammar exercises to help you focus: get some music CD's that she likes in English. Print out the lyrics to her favorite songs and go over them together. Help her learn and understand as you spend time together. It's not grammar specifically, but it's a good way to learn and somewhat fun/informal. Books of children's stories are also good. Write her some short love letters, at a level that will challenge her somewhat, and let her translate it with a dictionary and your help. Be creative. If you enjoy her company, then just about any activity should be fun. Cole B. Ozbourne