Could any spanish speakers help, I'm writing an email to my cousin's girlfriend who is Ecuadorian, just wondering whether to use tu or usted. We've met once at a family party but spoke English then as it was my family and noone else there spoke Spanish. We're in our 20s and she's younger than me, she's written to me just giving me her contact details for when I travel in Ecuador later this summer. It feels right to use tu but just want to make sure I'm not being offensive!
Thanks!
pixiertw10
1
northamerican
Using usted is safe; using tu might be interpreted as a little disrespectful. Play it safe in your first e-mail.
I have relatives in Argentina, and when I met them for the first time I used usted; the older ones responded with usted, the younger ones used tu (actually, vos). Now that we know each other well, all of us address each other with the familiar form.
2
viaggero
20s and she's younger than me
NorthAmerican,
Cómo estás?
The rule you are trying to apply works with people in their late twenties and older. However, using usted wth a you twenty-year-old or younger is exceptionally formal almost anywhere in the Spanish speaking world. When learning Spanish in Spain as a 20 year old, I followed your rule and used Uds. with people my age until I was told I was acting like a snob for not using vosotros (the plural equivalent of tú used primerally in Spain).
In English, it would be the equivalent of calling a teenager by his surname.
Pixietw10,
for the record, I am not a native speaker, however I teach Spanish and have been to every Spanish speaking countrry except for one so have good first hand knowledge.
3
northamerican
...I teach Spanish and have been to every Spanish speaking countrry except for one
That's an accomplishment, but which one did you miss?
Thanks for the explanation above, viaggero.
4
bjd
I'm not even a fluent Spanish-speaker, but I too would directly use "tu" in this case. Among young people it just seems natural to use the informal term. As a reference, no young people in France would ever say "vous" to each other, even if they don't know each other.
5
luzbelito
Unless there is a galaxy of difference between Ecuadorian and Argentine protocols, it's definately a tu.
You've met her, she's practically family, she's young and this ain't some sort of professional exchange of any kind.
7
northamerican
Equatorial Guinea in Africa
A neighbor of mine here in Chicago is from Equatorial Guinea. Although you have not been there, you can now say that you have a tenuous connection with that country through your message here.
8
viaggero
I've actually met one Guinean TWICE in my life - once on a bus going to Haiti from the DR then four years later in Brugge, Belgium - the ULTIMATE in coincidences!!! I didn't think there were any living in our country. Do you know if he's a Bubi or a Fang or from one of the other tribes? Have you ever spoken Spanish with him? If it's like the Spanish of the one I talked with, it's very clean/easy to understand.
9
northamerican
I don't know which tribe the lady is from. I had no idea where she came from until after she had a baby, because we always spoke English. When her first child was a toddler, I happened to see them approaching as I was walking down the street. When we were steps away from each other we said hello, and I said something like "I thought I just heard you speaking Spanish to your child." She said yes, that it was Spanish I heard, and that's when she told me where she was from. The Spanish was very clearly spoken, which is how I recognized whatever it was she said to her child from a little distance away.
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Lonely Planet
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