| rich191800:07 UTC11 May 2007 | I have never seen anything like this! I am new to this whole internet fiasco, but so far I am terribly disappointed; during my first hour “online”, I have encountered nothing but the sort of mindless-drivel of the sort I find here. I mean, I can get this kind of frivolous-idiocy for free by tuning into my local commercial-radio-station, without having to waste my time and money on this so-called wonder invention. How pathetic.
Anyway, the reason you find me here, unfortunately in the role of educator, is that I have just searched for "long-distance cycling" on a search-engine, and had the misfortune of being directed to this page. I know that the world has gone mad, but this is just appalling - what a load of tummy-rot! Here we have the most bizarre coming-together of social-misfits I have ever witnessed – some of whom are quite prepared to flap around in the most undignified manner, in full view of the world, because they are unable to make a simple decision about which tyres, saddle, or handlebars they should use, which route they should take, or whether or not their latest minor ailment is merely a figment of their imagination. What a depressing waste of what, I’m sure, could be a very useful resource if used properly. Toughen-up a bit please!
In 1946 I cycled from France to India in the first ever long-distance race of its kind: the Paris to Bombay team event. Thanks to my perseverance, my team finished an admirable 4th out of an initial 93 teams, taking 8 months t complete the route. Now, let me let you into a little secret: there were no fancy tyres, high-tech gearing, or lightweight materials then. My handlebars probably weighed as much as your complete bicycles today, and by the time my equipment was mounted on my iron racks, it took four fully-grown men to carry my stead to the starting line. There was no swapping and changing of saddles either; you either liked it, or lumped it. In fact chaps, I used a plastic saddle, had no grips on my handlebars, and was operating on just 3 gears for the whole race. At night, I would don an extra pair of socks, hat and gloves, and huddle down with my team-mates for warmth - I couldn't rely on a £200 mummy’s-boy comfort sleeping bag. Eating would invlove scavengng for whatever scraps I could find (competitors weren’t allowed to carry money - if they had any at all) and building myself a real fire (you know, with wood); no fancy cooking devices back then, you can be quite certain of that. So, did I complain? Did I cry down the phone to mummy, book into a hotel, or jump on the next flight home? No. Why? Because, then, we had a certain something that seems to be absent from society today: dignity.
Anyway, as if having to read through some the entries on this message-board wasn’t a grave enough insult to my intelligence, the so-called “online search facility”, that I had entrusted to guide me safely and effortlessly to some proper information about long distance cycling, then decided to lead me to what can only be described as some examples of the most appalling misuses of time, money and resources that I have ever encountered: cyclo-blogs. What awful things! Looking at some of them, I get the impression that most people just don't know how lucky they are. Water-proof bags, electical-speedometers, flashing-lights, cycle-helmets, puncture-proof tyres, adjustable stems, I-Pods, digital-cameras, video-recorders, rabies-injections, dog-dazzlers, visa-companies, bike-boxes, chlorine-tablets, brakes. It's a never-ending barrage of high-tech waffle that amounts to absolutely nothing, other than to highlight your complete inability to survive in the wilderness without the help of some new, all-singing, all-dancing, consumer product. And then we have people with the audacity to call themselves “self-supported”, or worse, "self-sufficient". What a sad reflection of the times this is.
Whilst you might be convinced that the exaggerated tales of exotic creatures, hostile tribes, and mysterious lands are succeeding in making your ex-employer, ex-wife, or whoever else envious of your new adventurous lifestyle, just remember one thing: without your waterproof panniers, light-weight tent and GPS, you are nothing. And, to those of you gallivanting across the globe willy-nilly, be it to satisfy some kind of neo-colonial desire, to feed the children, save the pandas, stop a war, or whatever other ridiculous reasoning is behind your complete misuse of the social and financial freedom you have been granted, please read carefully: neither myself, nor anyone else in the working-world, are prepared to contribute to the social-handouts you will undoubtedly want to receive on your return when you discover that your time away civilisation has rendered you virtually unemployable.
So, next time I come to search for something as innocent as "long distance cycling", I do not expect to have to bare witness to the same cocktail of new-age, fuzzy-minded, unconstructive liberalism that I have witnessed from you 'cyclo-tourists' today.
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| betty_swollocks01:33 UTC11 May 2007 | .........and when you got 'ome, your father used to slice you in two wit' bread knife......if you were looky!
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| aphatrider01:46 UTC11 May 2007 | back in ought'9 i use to walk 5 miles thru the snow to school,and it was uphill both ways........
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| tom_r_allen15:04 UTC11 May 2007 | That was a bit of a giveaway, wasn't it! Arf.
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| gidcomb00:45 UTC12 May 2007 | I am damn sure not a liberal but do consider them productive members of society. All though I am much older than most of these liberals I can only dream of what some of them are doing on trips through Nepal, Tibet, and China and they damn sure don't go 1st class. Perhaps you are like me and wish you could be part of it? Speak of mindless drivel-you are it pal. You should be looking at the trip blogs and pictures and patting these "liberal" youngsters on the back instead of putting them down (if you even exist)
I live in the south of USA; very poor place 45 years ago. My 1st bike was made from old tractor parts. Each tire weighed about 150 lbs, the seat was the old metal type from a "John Deere" it weighed 76 lbs! My first trip was over 5,000 miles, I went to the Pacific Ocean and back in 10 days and never ate or drank. Well I did eat some road kill a time or two. Are you part of a one man admiration society. You don't like mindless drivel but your drivel was the longest post I have ever read half of.
Technology-embrace it or set life out!!
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| Frugaltravellers09:16 UTC12 May 2007 | I love it.
Thank you so much for the laugh, rich1918.
It is always good to hear a well-constructed diatribe.
Shame the grammar and spelling went a bit wonky towards the end, must have been at the height of your impassioned rant.
Who amongst us is not guilty of looking at teenagers today and remarking on how spoilt they are, with their i-Pods, $400 mobile phones, new clothes - I know it certainly wasn't like that for me in the 1970s anyway... (haha)
Good work, keep them coming...
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| oregarian12:32 UTC12 May 2007 | I agree, a classic. Well done "old timer".
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| rich191817:02 UTC12 May 2007 | Dealer Productions Co. presents:
"STILL ALIVE; STILL KICKING"
Staring the one-and-only "S" - back, it would seem, by popular demand.
Reviews:
"absolutely priceless" - aidehua
"Glad you're back, damn near perfect" - CheapWD-40
"I love it. Thank you so much....Good work, keep them coming" - anyonegotanymandys
"I agree, a classic. Well done" - oregarian
OUT NOW at a forum near you, rated 15.
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| acanay13:07 UTC16 May 2007 | how long did it take ?
wouldn't be more fun to stay in the bed with your girlfriend ?
oh yeah ... which girlfriend :-))))))))))))))))
anyway ..... nice piece of old good SF :-)
all the best
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| trek52019:21 UTC16 May 2007 | I love it, great job! Not bad for a man in his 80's.
I guess Rich didn't ride in the "Round the World"blindfolded ride. Dam what a trip that was.
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| doc_sarvis03:30 UTC18 May 2007 | "You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else. We are all part of the same compost heap. We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." - CP
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