Wanderlust so bad my toes are curling

Hi there. Have been watching this thread for a few days but finally have some time to put in my two pence worth. I can totally relate to how curleytoes is feeling. I am a Kiwi living in the US and also felt trapped by the usual US short vacations. The other thing to note is that she is carrying the medical insurance which is also a serious matter.....for those who do not live in the US be happy for your social system of medical care. If curleytoes takes leave without pay she will still need to pay for the insurance coverage. When I was working I would at least add a few days without pay to my vacation days off and also I would not use paid holidays and add them on to vacations so that really helped. I was able to take early retirement....I do have a small pension and that is used to keep me covered in a company medical insurance while I am free to do my traveling now. I try to be creative in ways of making money for travel without really "working". Like some of the other lady travellers who have replyed on this question, I am married to a husband who does not like the budget travel long trips life style. We can enjoy short trips together. Sometime we go to places for a few days....then he comes home and I carry on for a few more weeks on my own. Some things should not be put off so I really encourage curleytoes to at least have a few short adventures now off on her own.

As to finances.....do NOT get extra money for travel from refinancing...that is just a bad money move. However, no matter how poor we have been at times, I have always had a seperate credit union account that was strictly for travel....even at the worst of times I will put $5 a week in it. It is part of the dreaming. My husband and kids know that money for my travel account is happily accepted for xmas or birthday. I collect bottles and cans at 5cents deposit ($1000 was made from this towards a 11 week backpacking trip to Italy and Greece two years ago). When I was working I had a direct deposit to the account....now I pick up odd temp jobs to make money for the travel acount. When I do travel it is budget backpacking style. I have just come back from a months trip to Thailand.....expences there came in at under a US$ 1000 including a couple of visits to the dentist while there. My point being, as others have already stated, there is a way to make the dreams come true now without big expense. aloha

curly toes, get them all together, and tell them how you feel, i did, and they had to see it my way, i'm from the uk like you, and most just dont have that desire, we agreed to save for 15 months, and off i went, 2 year's later i packed in work, and now each winter i backpack world wide, i can only say i'm so happy now doing what deep dawn never leaves you, ive read all the reply's, and they do make sence, and well put together, but i have that inner feeling that you realy need to do this, you sound a lovely women, and you might be shocked just how much help you will get from them, please let me know how thing's work out. MARK

Well, I just wrote a long post and it got lost in cyberspace. Curlytoes, this is a sisterly post from gypsytoes....but it won't be as long as the previous one that's floating around out there somewhere.
In our early 50's, my husband and I both experienced the same feelings that you are going through right now. A friend offered us a job managing a backpackers' hostel on a tropical island in Nicaragua. Impulsively, we quit our jobs, sold our cars, gave up our subsidized health insurance,gave away all our winter clothes, and left our aging pets with our college aged son in our heavily mortgaged house.
A month after we arrived in Nicaragua, our friend died, his hostel was sold and we were homeless. We refused to return to the states because we knew we would hear lots of "I told you it was a big mistake!" So, we found a cheap beach house to rent in an all Spanish community.
Oh, the adventures we had. We befriended a Peace Corp volunteer who found us a young man that taught us Spanish. My husband and I immersed ourselves in our little community. We taught ESL classes, First Aid, and swimming lessons to anyone who could walk or bicycle to our little casa. My husband grew a huge tropical garden that fed us for a year. We picked fruits and walked or bicycled everywhere. We were in the best health of our lives, plus we had a community of loving new friends that were willing to help us with our awkward Spanish and new culture.
Back home, while we were having the time of our lives, our son quit college because he couldn't afford to pay for it (We paid for the 1st two years). He rented out all the bedrooms to his college buddies and our house became a frat house (The police made weekly trips to our house because of roudy parties!) Our old dog broke her leg, then got cancer and our son had to have her euthanized. My mother's husband had a debilitating stroke.
So, after a wonderful year, we returnd home to fix the messes we left behind. We had to start all over again. We got new jobs, used cars, and put our son back in college. Our friends gave us their used winter clothes and coats.
We made our bucket list and goals to accomplish within 3 years because we were determined to take early retirements and move back to the island. It has now been 4 years since our pretirement adventure. Most of our bucket list goals are completed. Our mortgage is paid off, our son graduated from college, and we are all debt free. In order to accomplish this we sunk every penny into our mortgage and our son's college. We all work at least 2 professional jobs each.
One more year, and we will be able to take early retirements with small pensions. We're buying our little beach house on the island, so we want to work to get that paid off by next June.
Would we have left our old lives behind if we had known what was to follow? ABSOLUTELY YES! It was an incredible experience that only challenged us to think outside of the box. We learned to live with patience, compassion, and simplicity. When we were called to the edge of the abyss, we jumped into the unknown and flew! I've learned to live without fear and it is truly freeing!
Many people have posted good advice, but only you can make the decision that will meet your needs. Life is full of risks and challenges. We took a HUGE risk in leaving an old life behind. Not everything was utopia...but we thrived on the challenges. I hope that when you come to the edge of the abyss...you can jump freely withut fear. Don't let anyone discourage you from fulfilling your dreams. I am living proof that it can be done!

The problem as I see it is that our OP wants to do it alone - rather than as a couple and thats a very different kettle of fish.

If you stop to think about it for too long, you will find more and more reasons NOT to go. If you really want this, you have to bite the bullet and just go! You have to break this mindset of worrying about material things. If you have the wanderlust in your heart, you must follow it - or regret it for the rest of your life. I know that this sounds irresponsible but you only live once (as far as I know). I have travelled the world and sacrificed a great deal on the way but I would not trade my experiences for anything. In the words of Nike - 'just do it!'

I also have family responsibilities - an aged mother in a nursing home who relies on my regular visits. How I manage to travel and fulfill this is by only taking a maximum of 6 weeks travel and occasionally flying home to see her in the middle of my travels. I'm sticking to destinations in Asia (I live in Australia) as I can get home pretty easlily if I need to in a hurry. I'm retired but am fortunate enough to have my own consultancy so can work when I want to. Hope it works out for you too

Gypsytoes, your story is amazing!!

I am also someone who likes to jump off the edge of the abyss :-)

I've always landed on my feet as well....(even if I was crawling sometimes...).

LOL! Aminata...yes I agree, even if I'm crawling sometimes, I want to die knowing that I always took the chance to change my life for the better. :-)

You have to break this mindset of worrying about material things.

There's some very airy-fairy thinking going on here. The OP has a partner. She can't be totally irresponsible. There's a middle ground that can satisfy her without having to burn all her bridges and dismissing her family's feelings, I think.

Yes I agree with #28. If you share your life with someone (married or not) there is some kind of commitment so you aren't supposed to just go off as if you are the only one concerned. Children are involved as well : a family, so quite some responsibility. Breaking up my family for the adventure of travel? I wouldn't do that. Putting them into financial stress to pay my travel? I wouldn't.

The thing is: sometimes, or many times you do what you have to do and not what you want to do. Also because others ( your husband and kids) are counting om you and turning your back om people that are counting om you, is just something you can't do without consequences(the least being the feeling of self guilt).

I also wouldn't go off with the husband living a college kid behind to cope with school, bills, lack of money and guidance. If you put kids into this world you just stick to/with them until they are ready to take off and take care of themselves.
If you commit to someone you think twice before you go your own way, because that might lead to a break in trust or even to the end of the relationship.
As to "material things", maybe I am the only one who thinks that way, but the only way not to worry or care about material things is to have enough money or ways of earning it, so you can live with some comfort. Frugality that goes on for long looks more like distress and misery to me. However if you live that way for a while to ensure your future material situation, I see the use of it.

But I think Curly toes has a good sense of responsibility, because otherwise she wouldn't bother thinking too much about the question and asking others about their thoughts. It isn't easy but just think: your family will be there for you always if you stick with them and the rest of the world won't even notice you no matter how much you can travel around.