Sudanese Wedding Preparations
Normally the wife-to-be is shut away from her intended for 3 months or so, but I am a typical Westerner and my fiancee is likewise lacking in patience, so we've gone for 3 weeks - with remission!
She has gone to live with relatives in Omdurman, a 30 minute drive across the White Nile from Khartoum, and began her preparations immediately. First, and to be the most repeated, was to strip naked and squat over a fire of smouldering wood, beneath her own, personal, pup tent-like cover. The wood is highly scented and the smoke is supposed to impart the perfume into the skin so she will be super-alluring on our wedding day. I can't help being reminded of the smokehouses along the Lancashire coast of my youth, where they turned herrings into kippers. Having suffered irreversible lung damage from a combination of Saharan dust and the fume-filled atmosphere of some of Africa's more polluted cities, I also worry about the long term effects of these smoke sessions.
Only to be expected, she is heavily fatigued by these dry saunas (don't forget she is outdoors where the shade temperature is 45•C BEFORE the fire is lit!) and sleeps after each one. The rest is just what her body craves, her last holiday having been granted by the school some time before the previous Pope attended sick parade.
Not content with cooking the bride-to-be, custom dictates that she must appear as pale as possible for her future husband, a bit strange in someone who was born black. Therefore she must remain out of the daylight as much as possible, on the occasions she is permitted to leave the house, wearing gloves and socks with her face covered. I am glad we are beaking with the more strict traditions, 90 days of this would be purgatory for her. At least she won't be going to the wacko lengths of a certain pop icon, no longer with us, though so many women are scolding her for not using chemicals to bleach herself. The girl ain't stupid!
Next follow extracts from my diary:
Things are happening, the end is in sight, I start my Countdown Diary of events from the 2 weeks to go point then:
W-Day minus 14 – Disaster!
The beginning to such a momentous countdown could not have started in a more mundane manner. Got up late, did my laundry, washed the floors, fixed the tv aerial, had a late breakfast.
At midday the plone rang; it was Wafaa to inform me that her aunt had died at 0300 this morning.
In Sudan a family death is a major event and eveyone drops all plans immediately to grieve as one. She was one of the first to arrive, 0330, and began organising mourners. All thoughts of wedding preparations were forgotten; there was now the passage of a Loved One from this World to the Next that took priority. I felt so frustrated that I could do nothing to help.
Following 3 days of funeral arrangements and helping organise the huge family gathering, Wafaa was ready to return for more smoking sessions and I drove her across the river. When such a death ocurs, tradition dictates that no celebrations or parties should be allowed to disturb the remembrance of the departed one, in some cases for up to a year. We discussed the ramifications of the death and agreed we had to cancel the reception:
“We can have a combined party to celebrate the end of Ramadan!” was gratefully received, though I knew she was terribly disappointed. We shall probably host a family breakfast on the 10th, then hold the wedding ceremony at the house, after which she will “do some things with the family.” We should be able to go home as husband and wife around 2200 that night. Insh'a'allah.
Dave
