Colonoscopies

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

    And the best one of all:

13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

I laughed out loud!

Oh, hilarious!

They remind me of my favorite line, which I've used with several female physicians when they're checking my prostate (through the anus) and they say "Ok, almost done", I reply "Take your time, it's the closest I'll come all year to illicit sex!"

Lee

So you're not a prude but+ ... you talk about +below the waist jokes
Isn't that just a teenie, tiny bit oxymoronic?

Alright, I promise not to tell any jokes about high heels, then. ;>D

ROTFL - good one!

If you don't want to be offended #4, then read opening posts before replying .... Inside - so as not to offend ... is pretty much a no-brainer and not difficult to understand.

Looks like #4 was the originator for #13 on the O.P.s list.

LOL @ #7