A Whole New Country...!

It was better years ago. Now it's too expensive, has too many tourists, and the crime is bad.
Nobody goes there anymore anyway, it's too crowded.

But the taxi drivers are honest (relatively speaking).

The drug dealing has slowed down compared to the old days.

I'm not keen on the lack of public toilets.

Can I get a visa when I arrive at the airport and how much is it?

Does it matter which country I'm from?

The embassy says I can't but what do they know?

Do I really need a malaria vaccination?

Do I really need a malaria vaccination?

Just take your Malarone with you. But you DO need an up-to-date yellow fever certificate if you want to cross borders (and you will want to, believe me!)

It goes without saying that Americans are disliked and must pay an entry and exit tax.

Please noe that although the capital is spelled+ Minhungua it is +pronounced 'Minging' by the locals.
And don't let the main street, Geriatrica, fool you - it may be closed to cars, carts and taxis, but NOT to wheelchair operators, who are also permitted to carry passengers. Getting mowed down by a rampant six-person wheelchair is no fun, believe me!

Is the water safe to drink?

Are the natives friendly?

They do speak English. Don't they?

#15, reality check - there is no vaccination for malaria (unless there is a fictional one).
And #18, that sounds like the Australian beach town of Ballina, where pedestrians are not safe on the footpath, because elderly scooter drivers don't give way, and probably have trouble seeing you.