WEDDING PROTOCOL IN LEBANON

Hi all,

I am travelling to Beirut in a few weeks to attend the wedding of a lebanese friend, a muslim girl. Any useful tips on wedding protocol?

I am specifically worried about what to give out as a present. They have included a bank account number in the invitation. Does it mean they are expecting money? Do you have a clue about how much is considered nice in Lebanon. It is a studies collegue, I dont know the family, and knowing the bride I can say the wedding will be sthg awesome.

I am Spanish, and here sometimes bank accounts are included to make things easier for guests, mainly for the -latin- extended family. But I don't feel it is very good taste to give money as a present unless you are really intimate. I dont need them to think I swim in gold, I just want them to know I really appreciate the invitation and wish them happiness.

Any information or related experience would be helpful.

Thanks a lot!

Marguita

hi

as far as I've seen in Syria, and presumably Lebanon, the bride and groom expect money as a gift

but I know that some friends (not-so-rich Arabic students) were invited to weddings of members of the families that were hosting them or renting their room and the students didn't bring anything

Thank you Jiita , yes I expect Siria and Lebanon will have similar usages, mainly because families are frequently spreaded between countries, so I guess the present will be cash. Its easier.
Thks.

Amazing ....... !!!!!! First time Ive ever heard of that - but I suppose in this day and
age they say well, let's cut the crap and get everyone to make a direct debit !!!! Maybe
if the wedding is lavish you can pay in installments........ huh?

Well I've attended hundreds of weddings and I have to admit its the first time I've heard that.

Yes, with some families there is a tradition of family, notables and close friends giving money
so.... if you consider yourself a close friend you'd better set up your bank standing order. lol!

Its nothing to do with families being spread about its a tradition with certain familes, clans, villages. They don't need to be poor either but I think the tradition of giving money was originally started to help the newly weds get on their feet after getting married and having spent money on
a party and furnishing the house etc.

Maybe you can just watch the wedding on You Tube or something and save yourself an air ticket
or else ask them to send you a copy of the wedding CD ..... every arab wedding has one.

Sorry algab, I just find this story rather funny... maybe I'm old fashioned... whatever ! Please
don't take offence.

well giving money is obvious related to the need of furnishing the house the newlyweds will live in

I agree that the bank account in the invitation is definitely bad manners but I've seen it also here in Europe!!

the "proper" way to give money to the couple, at least here in Italy, is (maybe was??) in a elegant envelope :)

You can never go wrong with a piece of jewelery, so in case you're not comfortable with the idea of wiring money to their bank account (I admit it does seem a bit impersonal) maybe think about getting the bride a nice necklace or bracelet or something of the sort.

I disagree with #1, cash is definitely not the norm in Lebanon (and the parts of Syria I'm familiar with).

It is certainly the norm in Jordan for weddings. Sometimes the immediate family provides money for certain purposes ("I'll pay for the furniture in the sitting room") but there is a sort of reception line at the wedding reception and casual friends usually push the money into the hand of whichever of the happy couple they are closest to and he/she immediately passes it to somebody standing by with a purse, or if it is the bridegroom, just shoves it into his pocket; Like that nobody actually knows how much you are giving; young girlfriends of the bride might offer half a dinar! The standard rate for medium off people would be about 15/20 dinars in Jordan.

i was going to bite into this early with the same disgust as #3

i googled for this 'new fangled modern' tradition
found nothing

i'm sorry - i'm old school
a wedding is about the joy and the ceremony not direct debit
TACKY TACKY TACKY

wire them one USD - one - as in between zero and two - one hunderd cents

Here in Syria, the guests pay about 1000 or 2000 liras which is about 20-40$ as a help for the couple to start their life together, but you can also not pay anything cuz in most wedding parties nobody can know who gave what.

Maybe because you live in Italy (or wherever..) they sent the invitation, thinking you wouldn't
come all that way for a wedding and decided to add the bank account just in case you wanted
to send something (ie money) as it would be easier than sending a parcel, maybe ..!!???!
Let's give them the benefit of the doubt and consider them forward thinking people who
dispensed with wedding gift lists - long ago. lol!

There are lots of various traditions - some include pinning $'s to the bride, some shoving a note into their clenched fist and some as stated already notes passed to the groom. Some have
their relative standing nearby with a purse or box, which everything is stuffed into.

Ive even been to weddings where one person writes down the amount of $ given and by whom - this is studied later and if they find some people didnt give much or didnt give at all - then they reciprocate the same token at any wedding of that individual.

Also, attendance is studied. If you don't attend their wedding they won't attend yours........

I once went to a Lebanese girl's wedding and the bride got up and sang a few Haifa Wehbi
songs ... now that was really amazing...very enjoyable - but not traditionally accepted by many of the old folks attending the wedding.... Lot's of talk later. But it was extremely enjoyable
and very spontaneous. Of course the girl could sing so I don't suppose it would work well
if the bride sounded like a strangled cat. A touch out of the ordinary but I liked it.

Does your friend live in Lebanon or just have her wedding in Lebanon?

I had my wedding(anniversary)party in Lebanon last year. Also something very unconventional...
Had to leave a lot of the gifts with my inlaws as they were to big/heavy to take back home by plane. I got jewelry (necklaces and/or earrings are common), ABC giftvouchers, money, cristal candlesticks, silver serving platters, fur jacket, luxurious wine opener set, silver photo frames...

This summer I also had a wedding from my husbands cousin. We made a little gift basket with Dutch products and added an envelope with €100,-. (Don't know if this is appropriate, but we don't really care...).

For another wedding we got them some art (prints) and a handmade necklace.

If they are truly friends they don't care what you give them. You being there should be enough!!!

This is becoming the standard way to go in Lebanon.
Usually, depending on the wedding you're invited to, if you're going as a couple or alone, how much you're related or close to the married couple, and your means, you can gift them any amount.
As a rule of thumb, if the married couple is not very close, and if we are attending the ceremony as a couple, we usually contribute $150, but I see lot of people contribute much less (the minimum being 35$)

$150 per couple .......... which means that basically since the average person in the Levant
attends at least 30 weddings a year ........ relatives, friends, colleagues, neighbours and every other Tom, Dick or Harry - and taking the average wage into consideration .... this means that you are working just to gather enough money together to hand out hundreds of $$$ left, right
and centre. I have to admit the Lebanese are splurgers - whether they have money or not. Its all about show and keeping ahead of the Jones's obviously - one just wonders how the people
manage this on the salaries they get.