Kids to Stay

Well we were planning Kids to go, but some off the places we really want to see i don't really feel comfortable or safe about bring my kids who will be 3, 4 1/2 and 9 1/2 when we go. ( Such as Africa)

My mum has come up with a solution, she is retiring early at age of 55, and has offered to take them for 6 months while we travel, my kids are extremely close to my mum, my oldest actually wants to go and live with her ( must be her swimmimng pool)

I feel this is the one chance i will get because i will be starting finishing my Law degree and will want to concentrate on my career, and will only have time for a few weeks holiday each year.

Has anyone else done this. I remember when i was 5 I stayed with my grandparents for 6 months while my dad had to work overseas and my mum was doing her police training, and despite my grandmother being an evil bitch ( she still is one) I didn't mind too much that my parenst weren't around, because i was in familiar surrounds.

Even if the kids could do without you for 6 mths, could you do without them???

Personally, I could never contemplate it. I would miss my kids too much, and would be worried about the youngest forgetting or hating me. 6 months is a loooong time in their eyes. Maybe wait till the youngest is a bit older?
(I know you didn't ask for opinions, but thats my 2 cents worth anyway!)

I've done it, still do it , was done to me as a kid and I'm not in therapy!

Now, to explain: both my parents worked, so, before starting school, I lived 5 days a week at "gramma's" and the weekend at home; after starting school, almost all my vacations were at granma's - lots of fun, and three other cousins to play with. This lasted well into high school, when I obviously did not need a sitter anymore but could still use some spoiling and less nagging. Grandparents lived in another town about one hour away.

I left my kid with my parents while travelling, about one year altogether when she was 2. Kept in touch with phones, letters and pictures, both ways. Yes, she needed about 2-3 days to reconect with us after that but not more than that and even now, about 10 years latter, she likes to hear the stories, read the letters and look at the pictures, both ours - from the road and hers - from home.

In the meantime we moved half-way across the world but my daughter spends every summer vacation ( 2.5-3 months) in the old country - it's her turn to have fun "at gramma's", even if she has to jump on a plane to get there. More so, she usually travels alone (well, I mean with the UAM service, obviously) and is self-assured and more confident, not to mention the envy of her classmates for it.

Consider changing your itinerary. While you're concentrating on your career, you will also have less time with your kids. Since you were originally planning to take the kids, would it be such a big deal to skip a few places? It's a big world with lots of places you CAN take your kids. That's what this board is all about. If Africa is your big stumbling block, stick to South Africa and Namibia- both should be ok for kids.

Speaking personally I would not leave my children with relatives while I travelled for more than a couple of weeks at the most.

We did it once for 6 nights when my son was 21 months. He stayed in our home in New York, with my in-laws who had been looking after him during the day in the previous few months. He seemed to be fine and we had a great break in Spain together.

We did it again a couple of months before my second child was born. We left my son, then 5, with my father in London while we took a 6 nights trip to Portugal. Once again we had a great time and my son was happy.

Both times we were able to leave him in his own home environment with a trusted grandparent.

For longer trips I would only contemplate taking the children with us - which we are! We are two month aways and counting down to our 3 month long adventure with our 6 year old son and 18 month old daughter (and yes the fact of the children has influenced our choice of location - we will be in Spain, Italy, California and the South Pacific rather than certain other places that my husband and I will just have to wait till later for)

Embrace every minute you can with your kids, because they will be gone all too quickly. My oldest will be 18 next fall. My youngest just turned eleven. In six years he will be a senior in high school, ready to leave. It seems just last week that they were all babies...

Go somewhere wonderful with your kids now. When they are gone, take 6 months off and go wherever. I should imagine your law firm will miss you a whole lot less than your kids.

Go for it. Lots of people send their kids off to boarding schools. The only difference here is your kids will be staying with people they know and who you trust. Maybe start out with 1 or 2 months though instead of 6.

I've been travelling by myself since I was about 5 - my parents would stick me on a plane (with my "own" flight attendant) and I'd be off to some other destination (always to visit family or friends) for a few weeks or a couple of months during summer breaks. I loved it and my parents enjoyed the break.

Theres a big difference between leaving your kids when they are 5, and leaving them when they are 3.

A 3 year old has no concept of time. Last year I went away for 10 days, and left my 3 and 6 year olds at home with Dad. The 6 year old was sad, but she knew I'd be back soon, and followed my progress on a bike through Cuba on her map.

The 3 year old asked every day when returning from nursery whether mummy was home yet. Then when my husband told them they were picking me up fom the airport, he said "no, I know Mummy wont be there". He didn't want to know me for days, then started waking every night about 4/5 times to check I was still there. It took a long time to convince him I wasn't going away and leaving him. As I said before, I would wait for a couple of years.

why can't you just take them with you?? If you're not confortable taking them to a certain country, go somewhere else!! I can't believe you could leave your kids for 6 months - go travel, meet new people, experience new things - and not share that with them?? Mindboggling to me. We have 2 kids (5 and 7) and travel with them to new places so that we can learn and share as a family. We have our kids in mind when we chose our locations - if its not 'kid safe', we go somewhere else.

THE OP posted this on YC and got loads of responses similiar in nature.
Apparently she doesn't have the money to purchase 5 airfares, and has made her decision accordingly.
Since it's a financial concern, and she's already made up her mind prior to posting, there's not much sense in continuing to respond.

What's YC?

I just checked the OP's profile which says she has 2 kids, yet the OP says 3. What's with that?

YC is the Your Choice branch. The alternative high school of the Thorn Tree.
I hadn't checked the profile. Perhaps it's a troll posting just to garner opinion!

Sorry....but no i am not a troll I am about to have my 3rd baby soon so i haven't really worried about updating my profile. Why would I ask if I had already made up my mind. True i can not afford to travel the intineray i want with my kids, but i was asking if any one else had done it....and i got both positive and negative remarks. It is still i while off before we are actually departing but i was trying to get a feel about how it would effect the kids badly.

I was just throwing the idea out for some opinions, i think people here are to quick to JUDGE ( thats different than an opinion) and to quick to call people trolls.

now i'm lost.
you are about to have your 3rd baby, but want to travel soon before you start your career, and suddenly your youngest child is 3 yrs old when you go travel?
or do you mean that you are planning 3+ years ahead???
that's a long time, many things can happen.

We started planning our biggest trip about three years before it happened - mainly for financial reasons. I'm assuming Gulumalemana is pregnant and getting ready to start lawschool, looking ahead to when she will be finished. If I were pregnant and staring at three more years of school, I'd certainly be looking for a focal point in the future to help me through.

But I think you can plan your kids into the fun.

Take them with you they'll love it... you want it to be an important part of your life... do they not deserve to be a part of that??? Work out the percentage... your youngest is three... what proportion of its life will you be away for? Think of a car journey... are we there yet...??? on a 50 minute ride... SIX MONTHS... think about it..... take them with you... grow together.... PLEASE....

I am planning the trip for about 3 years...or 3 1/2 years depending when i graduate, this is as put a focal ppoint. Sort of my reward for finnishing a treat before i have to start working.

Currently investigating ways of visiting parts of Africa that are OK for kids without costing a million and that i feel is OK for the kids....any suggestions.

Also I know in Asia some hotels a double means 2 beds, what about else where through out the world or is double 2 people. or would we have to get 2 rooms

I guess I am from a different culture, but here "many people" DON´T send their children to "boarding schools" like EuropeBoundSteph said. We don´t even have boarding schools. And no, I would not have even considered leaving my children for six months. Make it three months instead of six and take the children with you. And travel with their terms. Children are wonderful travelling companions, better than many adults who complain and are cranky.

I cannot believe the guilt trip some posters are willing to throw at OP.

Yes, children are precious and grow up too fast. But, thant does not mean that the parents have no right to a breather. You'll say that six months is not really a "breather", no, it's not, it's time off for an adult to do thing suitable for adults. Then there will be time to do things suitable for the entire family.

And, to twist a bit what #17 said, the youngest will be three, you'll be away for six, months, 1/6 of his life up to that point. Then, you'll be with your child for the next 14-15 years....yeah' there's time to grow together.

I agree with many of the other responses. Travel is even better in some ways with children. We have been on backpacking trips to South America and Southeast Asia with our children. We loved it and they loved it. It was such valuable family time. You just travel at a different pace than you would without them. They force you to slow down a bit and really experience a new culture. They really helped us to connect with local people too and we were often invited into their homes.
We sign on for such a short time (although it may seem like forever sometimes!) when we become parents. We do need to take every opportunity to share experiences with them. Travelling to Africa WITH your children should be a great reward for. A three month budget travel trip with them might be a good compromise. Then after a couple of years with a lawyer's salary, you can plan another 3 month trip with them.
We are just planning to head to Kenya and Southern Africa with our 9 & 11 year old for three months. I'll let you know how it was when we get back!

OP - Well, in most parts of Asia (at least in South East Asia) double = a big queen / king size bed. Twin would be 2 separate single / half-queen bed. Also, it's not a strange concept for folks to be squeezing the whole family of 5 or 6 into one room. The only snag is that the room normally comes with breakfast and in most cases, you'll get only 2 breakfast vouchers. Not a big deal.

I think the ultimate decision on making the grand trip on your own or with kids is entirely up to you. As long as you feel comfortable with the idea. Kiddoes are lucky to have an adoring Grandmum with a swimming pool. ;)