Camping in Scandinavia. Mountain biking. EuroRail. All fine but then this pre-Xmas present: "I want to go to SE Asia with two friends next year". The trip is planned during the summer holidays, ie. about 6 weeks.
What would you think, if your 16 year-old son comes up with this glorious idea (his two friends are 16, too). Admittedly, surrounded by globetrotters parents and having moved around in the big wide world probably a lot more than the average person in his age, this proposal is not too surprising. While there is no concern about money and communication (fluent in English, French and German and pretty good in Arabic although the latter won´t help a lot in SE-Asia) there is the usual parent´s concern. SE-Asia is quite far away and really beyond control (I hope you know what I mean). You cannot simply hop on a train and get back home or vice versa.
Any suggestions welcome. Thanks.
It depends a lot on the kid. you know him best, so you know the things you should worry about in his case.
I wasn't even allowed to go camping in my own country at that age, but i know times have changed.
16 is an age where adolescents experiment a lot with sex&drugs&rock-n-roll, and far away from home this is an ideal opportunity to do so. But if your son is fairly responsible in this respect, maybe you can trust him. do you know his friends and how they are in this? because even if your son is responsible, his friends may have a bad influence on him.
But still, i think he is a bit young... God i hope miniMox doesn't have these ideas before she is at least 18 or so..
Binge drinking is not really a concern. Neither are drugs etc. It´s more the distance. It´s easy to hop on a plane or train within Europe but I guess tracking down those little buggers somewhere in SE-Asia is already a problem.
Maybe you´re right and it is too early. And yes, when I was 16 I wasn´t allowed to things like that either but as you pointed out, things have changed and he is certainly a miniCosmopolitan.
maybe you should have a chat with the friends' parents? perhaps they don't agree at all, and that solves a bit of the problem...
if they are responsible parents, they should have the same doubts about this.
What a great idea from a teenage point of view! But i can understand your concern. i did EUrail at 17 with a 16 year old friend 17 years ago and loved it. Drugs can be a problem anywhere so it really depends on your teenager. Some are so responsible and streetwise that i could imagine they'll be ok, speaking as a teacher, but others??? the question is will you be able to sleep for those 6 weeks or should he try somewhere closer like Turkey... like to know what you decide...
I have to say as a travel agent and 'experienced' traveller I would be very nervous about booking three 16yr olds to South east Asia!
There are organised tours they could join such as Imaginative Traveller or Intrepid, which would give a lot more peace of mind, however even these have a minimum age of 18 years.
Everyone will have their own opnion on this based on their background, etc. I can only give you my feelings, for what they're worth, you'll obviously have to figure out what makes you comfortable.
As the parent of a boy who will be 16 in a few weeks, who is pretty well travelled (although without your son's admirable language skills) I think I would say no to SEA on his own. It is too far away (I can be in Paris the same day easily if I have to) and there are just too many "unknowns". I know this sounds so parochial, but I can imagine the things that could go wrong in Europe, and feel I could expect my kid to deal with them. But I CAN'T imagine all the things that could go wrong in SEA, there are so many. I could say OK to Europe (although 6 weeks sounds like too long to me) but not to SEA.
he sounds like a responsible boy, and whatever he can get into at home can happen abroad. if you trust him, you need to ask yourself what this could for his future- future sense of self-worth, and educationally how much good it could do him, and it would be great practice for college, being on his own. i went to mexico on my own at 13 and that experience probably saved me from doing more stupid things when i was older and things were going awful and i was on my own. i had such a strong sense of self and the world and my place in it, and i learned so much and it meant a lot to be trusted to that degree. work out a consistent checkin time (weekly, biweekly) whatever, and then don't worry! just my own opinion, although i know if it was my son i'd be like- let's go together! in fact, that's not a bad idea, why don't you go to cambodia while he's in thailand or vice versa and meet in bangkok,(or even just go to the same country and hang out in different towns) still checking in periodically, so that you are close.
How about a low key parental escort? Judging by my 16 year old this would go down like a ton of bricks, but nevertheless...
I was 18 when I first took off on my own - I had planned the trip since I was about 11 and begged my parents from about age 15 to go - although that was to Eastern Europe, which I imagine is not exactly too much safer than Asia! Even at 18 I had strict instructions to phone my dad from every airport until I got to my destination, where I would then meet up with some other people.
I think 16 is just a tad too young, even if they are really mature. I was pretty mature at 16, and had a bit of experience traveling with family, but knowing what I know now I am glad that I waited till 18 to take off. My parents would have been able to trust me, but they probably felt they wouldn't be able to trust everyone I would meet while abroad!
Having said that, you are the parent - and it is up to you. How do you feel about it? Trust your instincts. Re parental escort - yeah, that would probably not be too welcome but if they are so desperate to go they'll put up with it if you don't get into the way too much. I know I would, and I'm still young enough to think I know everything :) :) :) (not really)
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