Kitchen Coincidences

It's that evil law that dictates that if something untoward is going to rear its ugly head then it's a safe bet that it will happen. Take my toaster for eg.(well, not literally). At any given time it generally has a half a yard buildup of carcinogenic detritus in the form of crumbs, seeds and whatever else finds its way into its maw.

At the bottom of the toaster is a swing open aperture that allows you to periodically purge it of the offending flotsam if you were so inclined. Thing is I'm hardly in a frame of mind to remember to clean it out when I'm concentrating on building and looking to demolish my piece of crumpet.

As the toaster, like everything else, has its allotted space in the kitchen (it lives in the cupboard) you can bet your arse that during the transiting stage midway between kitchen bench and the cupboard, that the bottom flap will open like the bomb bay doors of a Lancaster bomber on a bombing run over the Rhine and proceed to carpet bomb the kitchen tiles with the previous month's toast crumbs. Bastard!

You need a bigger hammer.

I'm thinking of taking it out to the shed and welding the bastard shut.

Crumbs!

"How did he die, Chief?"

"A tragic toaster crumb fire, I'm afraid. We tried to save him, but he was toast when we got to him."

Turn the toaster upside down over the kitchen sink and shake it , before you try to empty the pull-out tray. Inevitably there's a trail of crumbs but not so many if you do this.
I hate my toaster. If I place a large slice of bread in an upright position - most of it doesn't get toasted at all.

Other terrible tasks: cleaning the inside of the fridge and trying to clean the clothes dryer. Not to mention cleaning the oven.

Let yer toaster live on the work surface and turn it upside down every so often. Bash the top and sides, and lift up and down and bash on the surface; shake side to side and repeat. Flick the handle up and down whilst holding the release button. Toaster elements are amazingly resilient to such therapeutic activity.

My favourite kitchen experience is when, unbeknown to me, the cans in the cupboard conspire to attack: I open the cupboard and a tin or two of chickpeas launch themselves at me.

HAHA!! You sound like Stewie on The Family Guy!! LOL

Taz

Or you can buy a west bend slide thru toaster

We will buy another when this one packs it in.

amazing arbon - does it put the topping on the bagel as well?

Way too advanced, arbon. That thing looks like it needs a shutdown period every three months for a mechanical overhaul.

The other kitchen coincidence that really, really shits me as well is that time honoured guaranteed eventuality that if the lid of whatever jar of gloop it is you happen to be opening at the time accidentally slips from your grasp then you could well bet London to a brick on that the thing will fall slopside down on the tiles. Bastard!

Which, I'm afraid viewers just about rounds up this series of Grumpy Old Men. Don't miss the next thrilling installment....

Is this one better

Seems the link gremlins are at work as well....