Some much needed input on first trip to Rome

I’m stuck between just wanting to have a relaxing slow paced trip (living as the romans do I guess lol) and making sure I don’t regret missing anything if I never get another chance back at Italy lol.

Everyone from outside Europe is confronted with this compromise, and you just need to find the balance you're comfortable with.

Rome + Florence could be okay; I would be personally concerned that on the fifth/sixth Roman day, you might feel restless, and think that it's too similar to yesterday, time to move on. After all, there are only so many churches you need to see, so many gelato ice creams needed to feel Roman.

That is why I like the Rome > Florence > Naples combo, but YMMV a lot!

After all, there are only so many churches you need to see

How many is that?
Bet I could list a dozen in Rome that are worth people's attention.
For the art alone.
Situated where it was intended to be seen.
And yes, that's a conservative estimate.

So it's not just about becoming a temporary local. That's a bonus. It's about seeing many of the secondary sights that would be major sights in most other cites that the people spending 4-5 nights simply don't have the time to see (and probably don't even know exist).

it's just not that difficult to have 12 very, very different days in Rome.
Arguably, if you split your time evenly between Rome, Florence and Naples, those days of battling the tourist hordes to see the most famous and popular sights will be more like each other.

You can't see everything in the time available, so it isn't wise to try.

Yes,there is no worry about not having anything to see in Rome.There is far more of interest there than can be seen in 3,6 or even 12 days.Then there are all the activities which are not 'sights' but can be fun and interesting to do.

That is the case in most of the outstanding world cities IMHO.Not that you have to try and see everything on the same trip of course.But I can't imagine getting bored with a couple of weeks in Paris,New York etc.

You basically need to narrow it down to...do you want to move around? The other cities you mention are not too tough to get to.Of course you lose a bit of time when you move but for these destinations its nothing major.

Then..what kind of things are you most interested in seeing/doing? If you are into ancient sites then Pompeii is great,for example..and the archaeological museum in Naples too.If you love Renaissance art then Florence is great too,and so on....

If you have no particular interests apart from wandering around then you might as well stay in Rome.You can do that easily there,it will cost you less than moving around,it will be less hassle...

Alternatively don't book anything and decide as you go.What kind of place do you want to stay in?

You may want to look at the Lonely Planet's Italy book. On the second page of Rome they publish a two-day, four-day and seven-day itinerary (this includes a day trip or two which we count those days separately). I will state unless you are checking off things as "seen" you won't be able to do these sites in the limited amount of time they give you. And even on these list there are either/or choices -- they are saying you can't see everything they listed in four-days just here are sites to think about during your four-days.
The idea of running out of things to do in Rome, Florence or Naples in 12 days is a little difficult for me to believe. I know we didn't see all we wanted in any of these cities and spent almost this amount of time in each, except for Naples. Even those who travel long term can't see everything because believe it or not we never seem to have enough time.
I strongly believe whatever you decide you will have a great time.
P.S. Suggest you immediately begin a weight loss program because the food and drink in Italy will cause you to over eat!
P.S.S. If you ask what to see in your number of days in each city the response will probably be longer than this set of responses. If you ask what to see give everyone an idea of what you like or want to see, number of days available, time of year, etc.

The idea of running out of things to do in Rome, Florence or Naples in 12 days is a little difficult for me to believe.

Nobody said this of course. The OP expressly sought opinions on how to best shape an initial 12-day trip to Rome, primarily, but one that might include Florence and/or Naples. So opinions could range from 12-0-0, to maybe 8-4-0, and conceivably an even split 4-4-4.

No opinion is right or wrong, but it has become something of a cliche on here, in just about every itinerary thread, to say things like "You could spend a lifetime in Italy and not see everything ..." or "We've spent weeks in XXX and we still haven't seen everything ..." - and many similar sentiments.

Some people go to an even stronger version of this meme ... "You have to spent X nights in YYY" (or it's almost not worth going, or you're a hopeless box-ticker to see it in less, and so on). With the greatest respect, all of this is often irrelevant, and not helpful.

How many days out of twelve in Rome ... that is the issue the OP wants a view on; the city might have 600 worthy churches, but it hardly matters. And I don't think it can justify the 12-0-0 extreme option.

And if an OP wants to "feel like a Roman" by sipping coffee, buying groceries, and indulging in gelato, I think it's worth pointing out (a) the diminishing marginal utility of each additional day doing that, and (b) the opportunity cost of "missing out" on other good stuff just a couple of hours distant.

the city might have 600 worthy churches, but it hardly matters

Why does it hardly matter?
Sounds like it could keep a person busy for 12 days!
Is it somehow better to see equally worthwhile churches in a different city?

I think it's worth pointing out (a) the diminishing marginal utility of each additional day doing that

Was that your experience in Rome?
After how many days?

and (b) the opportunity cost of "missing out" on other good stuff just a couple of hours distant.

Instead of missing out on other good stuff 15 minutes away?

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