Ok,you're welcome. ..

I've just had another look and it seems that the direct ferries from Reggio di Calabri to Lipari, and also direct from Lipari to Palermo, only start up mid-June, and so this option isn't available in May. If I am not mistaken (any corrections welcome if I'm missing an option!)
lucapal (or anyone else) if you aren't sick of me yet, any feedback on this idea (am I trying to cover too much ground? All these islands seem so intriguing - maybe all I need of Sicily itself is Palermo...):
day 1 - Ferry Reggio di Calabria to Messina. Messina to Lipari
day 2 – Lipari. Day tour to Stromboli via Panarea
day 3 – Ferry Lipari to Messina and then Messina to Palermo (3 hour train)
day 4 – Palermo
day 5 – Palermo
day 6 – Palermo to Tripani (it looks like I can take a one hour bus on Segesta Autolinee?)
day 7 – Day trip to Marettimo / the Egadi Islands
day 8 – Tripani to Palermo in the morning (Segesta Autolinee again?). Fly from Palermo in the evening.

thanks very much! I'll look at both sets more closely and see if I can pick one. Thanks again.
It will be a lot easier and fast to.....take a train to Milazzo from Messina.Then fast boat to Lipari from there.
Similarly when you leave Lipari, boat to Milazzo and train to Palermo from there.No point going back to Messina
Bus Palermo to Trapani is easy..about 1.30 or so,buses almost every hour (except Sunday when they are fewer).

Oh thanks very much! I did not realize that Milazzo was a faster option (now that I look at a map I feel silly). That's fantastic, thanks lots.
Happily if we go to Trapani it would be mid-week, so I'm glad the bus situation should be easy.

Replying to provide some thoughts for anyone searching Aeolian Islands / Stromboli / Lipari.
We ended up staying three lovely nights in Lipari - essentially 2.5 days.
We travelled from Reggio to Lipari in three stages (1) Reggio di Calabria to Messina by liberty lines hydrofoil. (2) Giuntabus from Messina to Milazzo (easy to buy tickets at their office right by the ferry terminal in Messina - and buses leave from in front of the office (3) liberty lines hydrofoil from Milazzo to Lipari (the bus stops right at the port in Milazzo). My understanding is some more direct options may be possible in the summer months. The connections were all easy and brief - I'm not sure if we just had great luck though?
Staying in Lipari pros: lots of hotel and restaurant options, really easy to plan excursions, easy to get to the other islands, if you get out of town, it's quite gorgeous. Cons: I didn't find the town itself too enjoyable and it's fairly hectic, by island town standards I guess. The water front in town isn't so beautiful. It's great that there are many tour operators but you will be approached often.
We arrived around 2:30pm our first day, which gave us a nice day to get situated, book a tour, enjoy the town.
The next day we did a tour to hike Stromboli with a stop over in Panarea. I have a few thoughts on that.
First it's very worth it - gorgeous vegetation and ocean views, then unique black sand near the summit, then stunning eruptions after sunset.
The hike itself isn't too taxing for someone with experience hiking / in decent shape. I think it may largely depend on the weather. We had a not so hot day with some clouds and winds - quite refreshing. We shared 1.5 litres of water between two people. On a hot day I imagine it would be much much more difficult and required much more water. One member of our group had to turn back due to the difficulty - it isn't for anyone who isn't able to manage moderate to high intensity exercise - while carrying a backpack full of the many required supplies.
You'll need to pack food to eat at the summit. Bread, cheese and a pocket knife served us well, along with some nuts and chocolate.
You need warm clothing for the summit. It is very cold and windy. You also should bring a spare tshirt due to sweat in the first. I had a tshirt, merino wool sweater, and then a windbreaker, and long pants. I was still cold, but fine. You need long pants for the chill and also for the extreme sand going downhill. Zip off pant/shorts would likely be perfect, I imagine. You also need long socks to help minimize the amount of sand you'll get in your shoes.
I panicked a bit on the way there, reading online advice about what one needs and realizing my shoes were not adequate and I hadn't verified whether I'd be able to rent items. Before starting the hike, the guide inspected our group and sent anyone who didn't have hiking boots (not sneakers!) and a flashlight (not a cell phone, and no sharing) to a rental shop. The rental shop was great. It rented fleeces, windbreakers, hiking boots, and headlamps, and perhaps other things. Be more prepared than me and look up the lists of what you need for the hike ahead of time and plan what you will pack and what you will rent. Don't wear contacts as the sand is wild. They provided safety googles and a dust mask for the sandy walk downhill.
One caveat: the boat ride from a Lipari is long and quite rough. I felt sea sick. I think I would consider - if I were to do it again- taking a hydrofoil to Stromboli on my own early in the day, and spending the night on Stromboli - to avoid two long, small boat trips that day. Also, Panarea was really lovely - a beautiful waterfront and it seemed low key and peaceful. I imagine I would have enjoyed spending longer there than our 1.5 hour stop over allowed for (we just had lunch at a restaurant). I might stay there the night before the hike and then stay on Stroboli the night of the hike, booking with a guide office on Stromboli directly rather than through a combination boat/hike tour seller on Lipari.
It's easy to rents cars, scooters, etc on Lipari so we enjoyed renting a small vehicle and driving around the island on our last day, including visiting the Lonely Planet recommended beaches.
Many thanks to lucapal for the guidance and I hope this post provides useful information to anyone considering the islands.
Ok,you're welcome! Nice to get back to us.....
Its a good time to visit.In the middle of summer,Panarea is absolutely packed with people.And the hike up to Stromboli is a bit tougher in 40° ;-)
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