Funeral in Germany

I don't know about the specifics of funerals in Germany, but if you don't have anything appropriate to wear, can't you hire a suit, or borrow one from a friend?

I am having trouble grasping the message in your responses.

As the person is now dead, I am at a loss as to what good it does to the dead person or anyone else - to spend money on more clothing.

I think it a much better idea to have spent that money with/on that person, while they were alive.

I know I would be honouring that person if I spent the money instead of on a suit for their funeral - but on helping unfortunates in other countries, in memory of that dead person.

IMHO

Funerals are not just for the dead, they are also for the living.
Wearing the attire considered proper for such an event expresses your respect for the bereaved and that you share their grief.

How closely related is your husband to the deceased? Things may be different in urban / less conservative areas, but in the rural region where I grew up, close family such as children, grandchildren, or nephews, cousins etc. would definitely be expected to wear a black suit, or a combination of black trousers and black jacket or coat with a white shirt and black tie.
Why doesn't your husband get back in touch with the rest of the family in Germany and ask them what they think he should wear and if they can lend him a jacket/coat if necessary?

#12 - I had thought that anyone's simply attending - especially when coming from west coast Canada - is clearly expressing their respect and clearly showing that they share the family's grief. I know the deceased would be more than horrified if we spent money to please others for show ..... when we could have honoured her highly by spending that money in her name, on unfortunates about the world. Thank you everyone for your input.

OK liamh - you asked them all for advice, they gave it, you are going to ignore it. Why did you bother asking in the first place?

PIETÄT we call the instance in german.
my online-translator gives me different
words for this term in english.

respect+, +deference+ or +reverence

it is not - comming from somewhere special-,
this "place-X" someone mentioned above.
we just wear dark things without showing our
skin. the "baseball cap" was not a joke but just
an alternative since this discussion is on a very
low level already.

you should be wearing a hat instead of a cap,
correct.

if you use google, type in the german word for
funeral which is "beerdigung" and click on
fotos+ or +images. this is how people look
at a funeral in this country.

'super

How utterly bizarre. Liamh asks a question but she had clearly already come to a decision and was going to ignore any advice to the contrary.

Liamh, why did you ask for advice when you'd already made up your mind? People posted some thoughtful responses with the best of intentions and you've just wasted their time. Maybe the solution lies in this from your original post: Husband insists it is still formal and I say no. Perhaps you weren't looking for 'advice' at all and were instead just looking for ammunition to bolster your argument with your husband. How childish of you.

It's people like you who drive TT regulars away.

Yes, certainly seeking validation for her point of view. I only hope that they also wear a maple leaf pin so that they will be recognized as Canadians and not mistaken for Americans, whom I hope all have better taste as to appropriate wear, as does her husband.

Just an unrelated example for OP: A friend of mine from Poland was getting married to a Brit and the wedding took place in Poland. The groom's British guests were clearly told that Poles regardless of age dress up for such events, guys wear suits + tie, women wear gowns, nice shoes etc.

Yet most of the Brits, men and women, who attended wore jeans, T-shirts, boots, sneakers, maybe upgraded by a formal jacket here and there. This was three years ago and my friends - who are around 30 - still keep on talking about those British philistines and their lack of culture - I wouldn't want such a thing happen to me, so I'd make sure to dress as correctly as possible, especially after having been given such advice.

quote: british philistines and their lack of culture (...) hahaha! the
polish can be strict..! they have probabely thought: "the british
protestant philistines an their lack of culture" hehehe!

sad but true: in germany mattoni's described attidtude to wear sneakers,
colourfull t-shirts, bermuda shorts to any occasion (easter,
christmas day, boxing day, ascension day) instead of dark pants,
fine leather shoes and just a white shirt (mayyybe a tie, mayyybe a
light summer/winter hat) is widely seen as a result of an ignorant
personal background.

if your parents did not follow those rules anymore, what can you do
better during your life..?

today and not only in england, also here in germany, people tend not
to care about those issues anymore - i would simply call it a disinterest

in your countries own aesthetic heritage.

same as some folks on the street rather glare at someone instead
of greeting him with a loud ...guten tag mein herr!

not?

'super