We live in Western Canada and have to attend a funeral in Germany - family member. Even so we visit Germany approximately every 2.5 years, we have not attended a funeral. Husband insists it is still formal and I say no - that he does not have to purchase a suit for the occasion - that really anything is presentable now.
Anyone unfortunate enough to have attended a funeral in Germany recently and can offer me some advice ??
Formal - not really. Anything - not really either. Clothing should be "nice", not too casual. Most important: wear black, at least dark colours. If it is a very close relative (parent, grandparent, sibling), black is a must. Men may combine dark jacket and pants resp. suit with a white shirt and dark or grey tie. A black V-neck sweater with black or white shirt and dark tie would also do if that is all he has. The tie makes a great big difference in "formalness".
If he already owns a dark suit, I'd say wear it. As for buying one - if there are no other occasions in his usual life where he might need a dark suit I would not spend the money. However, if you don't have anything black or dark, you'll have to go shopping. Anything brighter than dark grey, dark brown, maybe navy or dark violet would be a no-no.
Well, I believe that every man should own (at least) one black suit and a white shirt and a tie, no matter how much of a slacker he is. Perhaps this is the occasion. This in fact is the only dress that is 100 % appropriate during such an event if it includes a black tie.
If you settle for less than 100 %, all other options were described by #1 perfectly. People wear all kinds of stuff to funerals these days, who really cares except for some older folks, dressing up is not worth it just for an afternoon (attention: irony).
Thank you for these posts. Husband is now comfortable with wearing a brown tweed jacket and slacks - it is a classic and toned down in colour, therefore should do. #2, we live in B.C. western Canada. I have no idea of where he would ever wear a black suit. We used to attend the symphony balls but then it was a black tux and those would change in favoured design almost every year. Overall - where I live, those who must have a black suit in their wardrobe, would have it to immitate a mafia member for Halloween or are an undertaker. But either way - I appreciate your thoughts - thank you. We shall sleep in peace tonight :)
It seems almost anything can be worn now a days, where suits were a must in the past, and I'm old enough that it was standard throughout all my life. Get that dark suit, not only are you showing respect to the deceased, but as you are a family member you are also representing the family at the funeral. The cost of a new suit (or used), it not be expensive, is probably only a fraction of your plane ticket costs. At the two funerals I attended of close family members in both the US and Germany in the last two years, almost all men wore suits.
you do not need to wear a suit at a german funeral but: (...)
a black (needs to be black, dark blue or dark grey or anthracite) long sleeve pullover
that does not shown your skin on the arms (a t-shirt would), black trousers (or dark
blue or dark grey) and black shoes (can be black trainers as well) will be fine. you
will not necessarly need a tie if you do not have one (or if you wear the mentioned
pullover). out of reverence - the only essential is not to show too much of your skin
at a funeral. you can wear a black baseball cap as well (maybe without any branding
or logo) instead of a hat.
like this it should be fine. i know, the image is not too big, anyway...
'super
I've attended 3 or 4 funerals in Germany in the past years and one thing I noticed was that at least the male relatives all wore suits. Many of them looked like they would never normally wear a suit in their life, some had extremely cheap-looking suits probably bought for the occasion and many of the suits were probably hanging in the wardrobe for 20 years or so, yet they made the effort. And then there were the people who just wore anything. I can't help it, but somehow I had the impression they were too cheap to dress up.
Especially when going to a foreign country, I'd try to make the best impression possible. I wouldn't feel comfortable if my relatives would be saying - "look, he came all the way from X, but he was too cheap to buy himself proper attire." - and believe me, people do talk about such things on such events, sometimes even for years.
OP, don't you have the kind of shops in Canada that sell some suits for $ 99 or so which you might donate to charity afterwards? If not, you might buy one it Germany for € 59. Link
I'm not in Germany but would agree with the above posters -- something dark and preferably a suit. But I would leave off the black baseball cap. Nobody wears hats nowadays and a baseball cap would be in really poor taste -- especially with a suit.
LOL - yes. I hope the baseball cap was a joke. A baseball cap at a funeral on anyone older than, say, 18 would scream "American" and "very poor taste".
By the way, men are expected to take off any headwear in church and at the grave as sign of respect. Women keep their hats on (if they wear any, most don't), but men never.