Well Op since you answered my post I guess Ill put my to cents in on your situatuion as well. First off Im gonna give my guy a miss on any further money- well unless I was somehow convinced there was an emergency I suppose - but hard to imagine convincing me from a distance. I still think he was a sweet and far above average driver so I want him to get some biz but the 50 a month thing does just sound too steep to be for real - Sorry if I ruined him by being too nice.
I think your people sound just a bit too dodgy, Im sorry to say. I think you should cut them off firmly by saying that you really dont think your the right person for them to be asking money of and thats that. Blame your friends blame us but make it clear youve decided not to do it. Im gonna tell my guy I was just trying to help in the moment but my priorities for sending money lay with my own poor family but I wish him luck and lots of business.He hasnt asked since so I think he knows the answer but it was my mistake to explain myself at teh outset so I will now. Godd LUck and dont you dare give away that much money to strangers!
#32 I think thats exactly right......your own family, look after them. You did enough for him when you were there, you were generous towards him.
OP..... People are just so opportunistic sometimes, its disappointing when its money that they want. But I think other posts are right, friendship and then money often go hand in hand in Indonesia, its normal. Definitely don't give it to them, you will regret it for a long time if you do.
I have had so many requests also, I usually have to say very sorry, not at the moment. ie buy my motorbike so I can send my child to school, land offers, various requests for sponsorship to Australia to study or work, (often they want to work illegally) along with free board, businesses for sale offers. If I had agreed to all of these I would probably be broke!
You have to do what is appropriate to your own situation. They probably think you are very wealthy, let them know its not possiible. I help people when I feel I am in a position to do so and when they assist me in some way, its give and take, thats fair.
Eek!! Got a call from the couple, I came clean saying that's too much, I can't afford to do that. They aswered back by sayign "give what you can". I then asked, "doesn't Yosep (her husband's Indonesian name) have family who could help", his wife answered by saying "he has only an elderly mother", soon after the line got cut off. Til now I was ignoring their Sms, but I couldn't avoid this one. As I said in the OP, they wife is related to a priest I met who studied in AUstralia, I'll see if he can do something.
Once more, I can only suggest you to stop getting involved (like seeing if the wife's relative can do something).
ANY further involvment on your part will only extend this nuisance.
Why do you think they need you, rather than those relatives for help? ;-)
I'd just cut of the call next time(s) they call.
That should get the message through.
Don't be so shy!
Up to you, but I think you are on the brink of loosing the sympathy of all here... this is their problem not yours; time to cut all contact and answer no more calls I'd say. I don't think you should be getting anymore involved ("seeing if the priest can do something etc."). A firm no at the very beginning might have been hard for you to do, but they would then not have kept bothering you, and your friendship with them would probably have had more chance of surviving as an uncompromised relationship. When you think about it - though they should never have made such an outrageous request - you have to some extent been stringing them along by prevaracating and making excuses, allowng the idea that you might give the money to remain, and the longer you maintain contact and involvement, the longer that will go on. Really it's not fair to them or you. JUST STOP IT NOW!!!
I completely agree with you gouys, unfortunately the call got cut off as soon as they said send us what you can, so I couldn't say a final "no", but it's not wort taking it any further. Another thing is that when they call my mobile their number doesn't come up on screen, instead I get 'private number'. That's a difficult one to ignore, because when friends or colleagues ring me from their work phone or when there is an important business call coming through the same 'private number' message shows up on screen. However if I get a call with that message outside work hours, I won't answer as it would probably be this couple. Thanks guys.
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