Walking wallet/ATM

Would you give so much money to people back home that you barely know?

I wonder if this is a troll op.

Hmmmm, but the op has been around since 2002, so most likely not.

Sorry to doubt you, op, ... but its a hard thing.

Pity you had to face this sort of thing like this, I have a loan outstanding, my own fault, went into credit card red line, a long time ago, got a loan of AUD$8000, now paying it back.

Slowly paying it back.

This person I know quite well. The person who loaned me the dosh.

I can't do a runner, the debt is nearly all paid back, but I can tell you, paying money back is the hard part.

Sad case this one.

Thanks for your advice everyone, #11, no I definitely wouldn't. #1 I'm in Australia, they are in Flores, no need to do a runner. #2, #3, #5, I wouldn’t consider it a scam as such; I'd hate to think of it that way. I think they are just seeing me as the rich foreign friend who could bail them out of trouble; I don't believe their intention was to scam me as soon as they met me. Though I do agree that the husband could ask his own family in Taiwan and not me. I met them in January, the husband has been in Indo since October, he's still there, and had to pay for his wife's Taiwanese visa, there is the slight possibility that he’s lowon funds, but one must not be too sure, I’ll just ignore their pleas.

I too have confronted this dilema in Indonesia and in Mexico as well as Nicaragua. I am sure that most of the time it was the old 5 dollar ( or even $50 "tire change")panhandle that I sometimes experience here at home. I think the cultural issues mentioned are quite valid and interesting but it is certainly a challenge to figure where we fit in to that scheme of things.I always cherish getting close( or at least seemiing to do so ) to people in my travels but have noticed this paranoia of gaining dependents having a chilling effect on these relationships. The dilema for me comes when you really know or strongly suspect that a generous but relatively small ( say 50 , 100 or even a thousand dollars) contribution directly to an individual or family could really help and even in some case change the course of their lives. Once as a dirty backpacker in Indonesia I befriended a poor student with no family business or "feudal" connections who had been attending a technical training program that would give him a real chance to get a lower level professional job. With this job he probably would have helped his younger brothers and sisters get through high school ( they pay for that in most developing countries). His studies were put on hold indefinately due to some other family priority. His entire program was less than $2,000. At that time a tourists video camera cost that much or more. I myself had an $8,000 budget for a 12 months to indefinate time backpacker trip. To this day I wonder if several months of my trip would have been worth boosting this familys chances.

At this very moment Im struggling with what t o do about my recent week long encounter with a very kind, innocent and guenuine tuk tuk driver in Cambodia. I would appriciate any feedback here from the forum. He was sweet and generous the whole week that he was my driver, not pulling any of the usual manipulative shopping scams. In the middle of the week he showed up on time and exhausted because he had been up all night while his wife was delivering their first child. I gave him a paid day and a half off and extended my stay to finish my tour.He was such a proud father that I was quite touched. I got the daily baby report and finally an invitation to meet the family on my way to the airport. I feel the invitation was made out of pride and not for the sake of pity( although I feel i have in the past experienced that type of invitation as well). Needless to say the experience was a real eye opener.In particular one neice was very attached to my driver friend/employee in a very touching way. The driver himself had wished for a daughter but had become the proud father of a son ( I dont believe this to be typical).I surprised him with a discrete $100 tip in an envelope at the airport.---Now the dilema---Its the low point of the low season and he sometimes dosnt have even one customer. He has told me he is $50 a month short on milk money and baby supplies.--Could I , Should I give it to him? Whatever happened to breast feeding? ...Could it be a hustle???? I do make more money than I spend but Im not even doing what I should to invest in my own career and prepare for my own retirement ( Im 42) and I have a sister with an unemployed husband, 3 kids and even a poor old mother that could use 50$ more help than I give them already. What to do? Ive given him photos of the family and tips on dealingwith tourists as well as deserved recomendations to otheres on TTers as a driver. Illl eave this post here innhope of some advice and maybe make it its own posting to see waht I get. Thanks for reading and good luck OP and responders!!---adran

$100 for a tip???
That's more than what most Cambodians earn in a month!
Per capita GDP (2005): $448!
Not surprising you get a request for more money, and if you give, you can be sure more will follow.

AU$2000 is really a big sum of money to lend, it's quite 1700USD!!! I never experienced such a big demand but all my Flores friends try to borrow some money. They invent plenty of reasons to move me to pity. I think it will be helpful for tourists to Flores to know some common fairytales. 1) The landsliding near Ruteng took lifes of half of my family and I have to send all my money to funerals (as discovered later the landsliding took lifes of a few villagers from distant village and all relatives are alive); 2) My cousin suddenly dead in front of me under truck's wheels and I have to spend all family money for his funerals but as a result I cannot pay 200$ credit for a motorbike and a bank will seize my bike. (the usual credit payment for a bike only 500000 rp per month). 3) My family died during tsunami in Maumere in 90s and only me and my little sister survived, now she's suffering from some awful decease and I cannot help her because the special medical treatment is not available in Flores and we must go to Bali. (IMHO the medicine in Bali is also awful and horryfying expensive)
And so on. Every time I hear about somebody's else funerals I'm pretty sure that this have nothing common with me, with my money and with common sense.
Sometimes I can help local people in need but I consider the sum 250000 rp is more then enough - it's the half of the salary of a local professional.

Never borrow money from friends if you want to stay friends. So don't let them borrow money from you. No! No! No! I'm sure they'll understand your position if they are truly friends. Would you do it (borrow that much)? It's quite a big sum.

Thanks again for your advice, my excuse of my bank not recognising heirs might work A few months ago I tried transferring money to Flores, for purely ban fide charitable purposes, i.e., building a kindergarten for kids in a kampung in Maumere, the person provided letters for support, showed me the site where he was building the kindergarten and new some Indon friends I have in Melbourne, I tried transferring $80 but there was some hitch with the bank here and the money didn't go through. One of my friends here was also transferring money to him at the same time, she had done that several times and never had a problem, I gave her money and she did the transfer for me and showed me recepits. I haven't even bothered trying with this couple but even if i did, I could face te ame problem with my bank.

Sorry, that should be bone fide not ban fide, knew not new and theirs, not heirs. I was planning to go to FLores and visit some of these people at the end of the year, now I'm not so sure.