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So there is (was) this guy in Yangshuo who has borrowed money (4000 rmb) from a number of my friends and he has disappeared. Am I cheap, uncaring and cynical because I was the one who advised against this. At what point do you trust people you meet on the road? There are some people I trust immediately and haven't been burned by them. On the other hand they aren't the one's asking me for money.

I am curious to hear people's position on this.

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1

I have often agreed to mail packages for people when they are leaving town and want to shed some of their belongings. I generally email them after I have mailed the package. When they ask the cost, I always tell them to pass the loan forward to someone else in need. Amounts are generally less than 25-30 USD which I can afford.

I have never been in the situation where someone I didn't know well asked me directly for money, but I have taken people out to dinner who seemed to be in need of a decent meal.

In my mind, you shouldn't give someone you don't know well money unless you can afford not to see it back again.

Ruth

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2

i have met a few ppl who have siad they "lost" there money and need to borrow some. even thought i saw them out the night before drinking like a fish and trying to pick up some of the locals. so what i did was said that i would take his camera and ipod as collateral and gave him 150 USD when it was worth at least 500 just to make sure that he didnt try and do a runner. have heard a few stories of ppl borrow money from ppl then dissapearing then next day.
had the same situation as everbrite i was staying at with this guy in a hostel in tokyo and he was trying to live off 24 dollars a day or something so silly it just made me cry when all he was eating was 79 yen noodles by the 7th day i had to take him out for a meal was just the pain of him eating noodles 24/7 for a week

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3

Hmm, well there was one occasion where I borrowed US$12,000 from one of my friends. However (i) he knew I was going to pay it back (ii) I paid him interest (iii) there was a clear timetable of when it would be paid back (iv) he knew why I needed it and it was a valid reason.

I'd be very reluctant to 'lend' 4000 kwai to anyone other than a close friend and I don't think it's wrong to refuse a casual aquaintance who asks to borrow this amount.

That said, at some stage it's likely you will meet someone who has fallen on hard times and needs a temporary help... that an individual judgement to make if you give them anything or not, but if it was a gift, call it a gift.

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4

I once lent 8000 HKD to someone I only knew tangentially. She was a teacher at the school I had taught at the year before, and got caught overstaying her visa, and was bawling on the phone and I was the only one in the region she knew that could help.

She paid me back in 2 months.

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5

I have been in the lousy situation before where I had 2000 RMB to travel in Fujian and Yunnan provinces for almost 2 months. That was a lousy budget -- doable for some I guess, but not for me. I thought my mom was sending me money at the end of those 2 months. She called me when I was in Lijiang (earlyish September) and said that she wouldn't have any money to send till at least Christmas. I ended up having to borrow 5000 RMB from a close friend in order to join him and another friend to go on a October holiday week trip, as well as to tide me over till my mom sent me. Needless to say, I repaid him as soon as I got the money, but I was very grateful for him to trust me enough to lend such a large amount to me (the most he has ever lent anyone) and not even hurry me about repayment.
Cheers!

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6

3 years ago I met a couple on a trip in Southern Vietnam and they were heading into Cambodia. They had brought one credit care and a bank card. Their CC was shut off and thus they had to pay for there HCMC hotel in cash. They tried to get to an ATM in HCMC and also on our Mekong Delta trip. Well they were unable to do either. Thus I lent them $200 US for there trip to Cambodia. When I got home I had a check in the mail from them.

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BTW this couple was in their 40's and worked for Boeing. Thus I knew loaning them money was a good risk.

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OP, his name wasn't Simon, was it? (an Englishman, and well known bludger)

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9

Nope. Not Simon. In fact I believe he cleared his debts a few days ago.

As well it is not my intention to "out" the guy I am talking about. Though I am not sure why I shouldn't.

Part of what I have been thinking about is when people are away from their original home they can really decide who they want to be. There are very few checks and balances about anyone you know.

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