Marrying a Pakistani woman

As a corollary to the above post by emmeff I just want to add that because your love interest is Pakistani does not necessitate she's religious. I have several westernized and educated Pakistani friends-most of whom are not religious even though they are Muslim in a cultural sense. (I'm Indian, and not Muslim and the cultural differences between us are all but negligible.) I agree with the sentiment expressed above by emmeff: the implication that you're conversion to Islam will smoothly pave the path to marriage of what is yet no more than an internet romance seems misplaced, at least from the outside. For one, it's one thing converting to a faith, quite another growing up in that culture.

You still haven't met each other!

Edited by: insouciantguru

great posts above
and sorry pistol pete if you dont like my response / advice.
i dont think that thinking of marrying a person you have never met is a good idea. its great that you have talked many times, and communicated over facebook, but well, thats not quite the same than actually being together. and lets be honest, everything can be posted over facebook.

i think you should get a tourist visa, fly to pakistan, and meet her, and her family. spend as much time there as possible, with her, her family, her friends. even if you should end up married with her and living in the us, pakistan will still be her "home base", so its important to have a good connection to her culture.

Wow, thank you all for this information, I really appreciate it everyone. I should let you know that I left out some more personal information, in case someone on here should recognize her or I.

I would travel to only Islamabad, anywhere else would be her decision. I would likely have one of her friends or someone she trusts guide me in the city should I go out, but any other travel tips would be extremely helpful for me. Any information on Islamabad would be helpful.

Now, my religion has little to do with her,as I was a muslim before I knew her. The marriage idea is mutual, she was the one who brought up the subject. Mentally, spiritually, and physically there is a mutual attraction between us, but we are afraid the cultural differences might create some issues with her family. I will definitely need to learn more about Pakistani culture, as it is a subject I am still new to. However, given the whole arranged-marriage aspect of the culture, it is difficult to 'get-to-know' someone this way, especially because I am a foreigner. It would be much easier for them to marry her off to a man of their choosing, rather than dealing with me. That is why I am planning this so carefully, I don't have my family there or my ethnicity to back me up, so I need to make as good of an impression as possible.

If she comes from an upper class Islamabad based family then be prepared for some contridictions. The upper class Punjabis that I have met and know vary in which aspects of their faith and traditions they still follow and which they do not. In some ways they will be very western and familiar and in others very different. They have all been to the USA so they know what Americans are like - they let there other daughter live there so they canot mind too much.

In answer to your questions:
1. Get a tourist visa. I think you can marry on a tourist visa anyway. If they are an upper class Punjabi family then they will probably have had at least one friend who has married a foreigner and therefore can give advise as to paperwork.
2. I think you should talk to your lady and her sister about the best way to approach her father.
3. As a guest you should eat a lot when served food, realise that as a guest in Pakistan you may not be allowed much personal time and space. Take your shoes off when inside. Don't instigate the conversation with the female mebers of the family unles they start it. You are a Muslim. If they are religious they will respect you, if not then they'll think you a little odd.
4. Guarantee her safety? Suggest that you set up life in the USA?

Do some research but do not also speak to her and her sister. Some upper class Punjabi families will be OK with letting their daughter choose who she marries, some won't and some will want to check you out thoroughly before they approve.
Do not worry too much about the country. Islamabad should not be too much of a culture shock.
Does the father know you exist? I think you should ask her or her sister or both about what they think the father will say. If the sister lives in the US then is she married, working or studying. Can you get in touch with a brother to set up a meeting.

Good luck and have fun in Islamabad...

HHEHEHEHE pete you are funny, are you for real?

Have you traveled to Pakistan yet? I am completely enthralled with a man from Karachi, I am too American and U.S. born, Muslim convert. We speak every single day, sometimes twice daily on Skype. Our conversations usually last a minimum of 2 hours. We are crazy for eachother, but I am always trying to distinguish reality from fairytale.

Have you met?

In love with love itself. Marriage finishes that off quickly..

I would love an update on how this all turned out. I'm starting to imagine myself being in the same spot you were in when you originally posted this (June 2013).

If you told me I was going to fall in love with someone online, all the way in Pakistan, by first meeting them on Twitter, I would have called you insane.

If someone told me that I would even think about online dating with anyone, I would called you crazy.

And if someone told me I would ever think of someone online more than just a "screen name", I wouldn't have believed you.

And yet, here I am and there she is. A lot of misconceptions have clearly been dismissed.

We started just flirting and talking on Twitter, which moved onto gmail, then skype, then facebook, then phone text, and even phone calls (cost 13 cents per minuted to hold a conversation via phone. lol )

We talk every day. And it's not just casual conversations when the other is online. We actually now seem to be working around things and making an affect to stay in regular contact.

She's won over my heart and though things are fairly early, you can't help but wonder about the future. And should things get to that point one day, I'd like to know as much as possible. I'm big on being well informed and educated for every possibility

What's happening to trigger this spate of first-time posters who have found true love in the form of an online relationship with a Pakistani? What am I missing, or indeed missing out on?