If the Border Officer notices the date of return, a simple explanation of what you are planning to do is all that is needed.
I don't know how strict they are in practice. My guess would be that if you explain to them that you intend to stay 91 straight days (i.e. one more than allowed), they would have no choice but to deny you entry since you are essentially saying "I am going to break the rules, please let me in". If you on the other hand explain to them that you intend to go to Italy but just haven't bought the tickets yet because you don't know the exact dates, I believe you have a very good chance to enter, since a return ticket is not required to apply for entry (contrary to what some posters claim here). Nevertheless, the airline could decide to not let you board without a return/onward ticket within 90 days, in which case it doesn't matter how lenient immigration is.
If he applied for his VWP online, he had to have entered the dates. If they accepted it, not rejected it, then it is moot. LOL
You don't apply for a VW online. Perhaps you are referring to ESTA, but you don't enter any dates for that. I don't really know what you are referring to.
