Day of the dead / doll island

As I remember, the public events in Mexico City are on weekends, so look for an online schedule from last year for comparison (doubt this year's schedule is up yet).

I've visited many cemeteries in and around Oaxaca for Day of the Dead, and posted a trip review of my experiences. But my most recent visit was to San Andres Mixquic, near Mexico City, and I cannot tell you how disappointed I was. The event was just a generic drinking and eating party for chilangos, I found no genuine expression by locals of remembrance towards their passed family members.

As for safety, you'll be safer in a neighbourhood at night if you've previously visited that same neighbourhood during daylight and become familiar with it.

I was thinking of Mixquic as a lot of posts say how good / authentic it is, for to say I’m having doubts now.
Oaxaca looks a good option for DOTD, but too far for doll island.
My hotel has been pre booked but is changeable , they have said they put celebration details up in August, I don’t really want to wait until then as I’m worried I’ll miss out on the flights / hotels near a parade. However November 2nd falls on a Saturday, so I’m assuming something nearby will be on.
Am I just being a worrying old woman??

I would certainly not plan an entire trip, ruling out infinitely more worthy destinations like Oaxaca, around a visit to Isla de las Muñecas (doll island.) Puebla is also worth considering for Day of the Dead, especially if you can work in a day trip to Atlixco and Huaquechula, which have more traditional observances. There are yours that take you there or you can arrange with your hotel for a taxi.

I'd go to Oaxaca for DOD. For Doll Island Google Earth it and watch a couple of YouTube videos...

There are several hostels on Brasil, just around the corner from your hotel, so there will be foreign tourists as well as locals around, even late in the evening. Madero is a very busy pedestrian street just a few blocks away, which will connect you to the Palacio Bellas Artes, Alameda, etc. And if you want to stay close to home after dark, check out the Spanish Cultural Centre's free programming just next door to your hotel.

While Oaxaca is obviously world-class (and heavily touristed) destination for DotD, Mixquic is also an incredible experience if you actually do it. That means going there at night, which, let's face it, not everyone actually does.

just a generic drinking and eating party for chilangos

I'm not sure what this gentleman stumbled upon, but it certainly wasn't the actual Mixquic DotD celebration, which is steeped in tradition and has plenty(!) of "remembrance towards their passed family members" in the form of elaborate ofrendas, constructions, foods, exhibitions, etc. Yes, there is also a mass "festival" vibe with entire streets taken over by music, dancing (both traditional and modern), etc., but anyone who spends the time to go there – and, ideally, nearby villages on the same road like Tetelco and Tecómitl, which all have elaborate memorials and cultural activities throughout the evening.

The fact that there are very few foreign tourists (I saw zero when I went in 2017) was a plus for me. Would some people be turned off by the crowds, not really into the late night thing (it's best around midnight into the wee hours), and not really into all the music and partying? Sure, but all of that stuff goes on at the other "famous" events as well (Patzcuaro, Oaxaca, etc.).

If you can make it to Oaxaca, it'd probably be worth it for you, but if you're in CDMX during those dates, I think Mixquic is unmissable.

As for walking at night, it's one of the safer cities in Latin America if you stick to central areas... most of which are pretty active 7 days a week until at least midnight. Pickpocketing is an issue in the metro and events like Mixquic, just be extra vigilant and don't take anything you can't bear to lose.

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