I noticed that you have edited your post #8.
I would qualify Mark's observation:
"In fact, people with a lot of money or possessions are expected to contribute something when asked by friends, acquaintances or (especially) relatives--that's just the way things work."
This especially applies to East African culture.
Even there it would be poor manners to ask for a laptop right off the bat. The indelicacy of the request is perhaps more troubling than the request itself.
Thanks Stefo and BigBri for both clarifying and qualifying what I wrote. Yes, it is the fact that the OP was being asked in advance for a substantial "gift" by an un-met "local contact" which doesn't fit the cultural piece. That's why I said I'd turn and walk away.
But I am forever fascinated by the miscommunication around this issue between Westerners and Africans. It causes no end of friction, yet both sides are often merely following the norms of their respective cultures. I'm interested in hearing you say Stefo that your husband only rarely refuses outright, which fits with my observations, yet I personally don't know how to cope with the steady requests from all directions without feeling resentful.
Hence I try to place myself in another category altogether which I don't think actually exists in indigenous terms--the outsider who is also a friend and sometimes business partner but declines to participate in this aspect of the local culture. I try to be very forthright about what I'm doing: "I know that you are accustomed to doing it this way, but where I come from this is considered a very bad idea, so I don't do it that way. Instead, I do it this way....." Results have been entirely mixed, but at least I do get to maintain my composure, unlike some.
Fortunately, Africans are not so naive about us as we are, in general terms, about them. They are also very accustomed to dealing with people from other cultures, making allowances as necessary.
Always interested in hearing more about this. I am no expert.
Mark
The whole operation looks a scam to me. - including the supposed drug whatever campain that sends you there.
Scams abound, and the sole fact that you even need to be told that a Laptop is an ureasonable demand, makes it clear that you already fall in the category of people gullible enough to be their target group. If I was you, I would cancel everything immediately, and cut my losses... dont even justify it, just find an excuse like a relative fell ill and you have to stay home.
I would not even try to "move past this laptop bit". I would cancel on the spot. There are plenty of other places where you will be ripped off too, but not quite so blatantly.
No, this is not normal. Tell the campaign headquarters people in charge of this about this local contact person making an inappropriate request. That person is playing you for a sucker. And find another volunteer organization.
This "request" was very much out of line.
campaign headquarters people in charge of this
The ones who get the largest cut in the scam?
As I said, I would cut my losses (cancel my flight, request the refund of any advance payment) and stop listening to anyone involved, including the "campaign headquarters".
Thank you all for helping me consider this.
To clarify, I am NOT supposed to pay the organization to go there. This is an exchange: last year, at my school, we hosted a Ghanaian for free. She stayed at the home of a faculty member, with her own room, and was free to come and go as she pleased. Students from my school played host to her and showed her around the city.
Now, I have been accepted for the exchange to Ghana. After my Ghanaian contact wrote to me asking about the "reward," I replied citing details about the Ghanian student's trip to my city and my school. I also told him I couldn't afford a laptop. He then told me I could bring over a cellphone or something electronic...this isn't any more acceptable than a laptop, right? :P
I understand you are supposed to bring gifts to people and agree with all of you that you should spend money locally while traveling. I'm afraid to go there alone as a female traveler. I backpacked around Japan alone a few years ago with no incidents, but Japan is a far cry from Ghana.
You aren't necessarily supposed to bring expensive gifts to people you haven't met--normal Ghanaians would not expect that. While you have more money than the family you are staying with, bringing an expensive gift sends the wrong message, IMO. I stay with friends in Ghana almost every summer and I have a lot more than they have, but I don't bring gifts, they don't expect gifts, however while I'm there I pay the electric bill--after all I have to use the fan more than they--and sometimes I buy food like rice, and I pay the taxi if we go somewhere. That's about it.
I would recommend that you not bring fancy electronic equipment. Phones and laptops are easily available in Ghana anyway....
Japan may be a far cry from Ghana in terms of economic development, but that does not automatically mean that it is that much safer. There are many young women who travel around Ghana alone, evidently without problems other than marriage proposals.
The OP's last response makes it sound more like a lone opportunist within a valid organization than it did at first. Not that this is reliably correct; that's just what it sounds like to me.
OP, try not to get trapped into responding to requests with "I can't afford it." In responding this way you're implicitly accepting the proposition that you should be bringing a gift and that what remains is only the negotiation of a specific price. You've already lost (and throughout the world people will manipulate you into this position deliberately).
Instead, simply refuse: "No, I'm sorry but I don't/won't do that." Period.
You've gotten some good advice here: report the out-of-line contact, refuse, don't give expensive gifts, etc. In Ghana, Taharqa makes minor household contributions; I do the same plus give little things like laminated photographs. These are more or less in line with cultural expectations and don't put you in an awkward position. You need to develop the ability to refuse requests politely or you're likely to have a miserable, guilt-ridden time in Ghana, and you'll find the requests do not end when you capitulate--in fact, they multiply.
I love West Africa, and probably you will too. Don't let this put you off; it's just a minor little blip in the experience which you can quickly put behind you.
Hope that helps.
Mark