I am just hanging around waiting to see whether this Stump indeed represents the wasteful, pointless, stupid end of this whole thing. And now, a story . . .
A few years back the stately old gal thought she would try something new for a lark. Ate a treat from the Gumsuckers, for which she overpaid in her excitement. She was jonesing for hipness. Barbed, tart and spicy, practically still wriggling, the purchase clearly pained her. She started right off trying to chase it down with things to make it blander, softer, more pliant, less prickly (in a word, deader). But she had so little luck that she only ended up making the situation worse. Silly girl. She spent years just trying to disgorge, digest or dismember the thing, but all she managed to do was make an unsightly mess. All that kecking and snorting, hardly stately at all. And people started to stare.
And then eventually the right fellow found himself in situ and ran a Falls City Slugger down the gullet of the old dame, and up it popped nice and easy, only two-fifths of its former size. But are things going to be any different now, or have we all seen this before? If we have, it might be better just to walk out before the kecking starts all over again.