Bar entertainment in Washington, DC
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A
Little Miss Whiskey’s Golden Dollar
If Alice got back from Wonderland so traumatized by a near-beheading that she needed to start engaging in heavy drinking, we’d imagine she’d often pop down to Little Miss Whiskey’s. She’d love the decor: somewhere between Wonderland’s most whimsical moments of surrealism and the dark nightmares of a lost drug addict, all mixed with a heavy dose of Cure video Goth-Glam. And she’d probably go ape-poo for the excellent beer and whiskey menu, served by savvy bartenders who are hand-picked veterans of the DC nightlife scene. These guys have specifically been selected to run this spot, and as such Little Miss Whiskey’s feels like a bartender’s bar, although to be fair…
reviewed
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B
Madam’s Organ
Madam’s Organ ‘Where the beautiful people go to get ugly, ’ according to the T-shirt. It’s not far off the mark – this is the kind of perfect dive where you’ll see a beautiful girl shaking her ass on the bar one minute and puking in the bathroom the next. An enigmatic ramshackle place that’s been around forever, Madam’s Organ was once named one of Playboy magazine’s favorite bars in America. The live jazz, blues and bluegrass can be downright riot-inducing. There is a roving magician, a raunchy bar-dancing scene, and funky decor with stuffed animals and bizarre paintings on the 1st floor. God bless you, you weird and wonderful Organ – keep DC strange.
reviewed
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C
Wonderland
She’s gotten almost too popular over the years, but Wonderland is still one of our favorite bars in DC. A sawdust-and-sweat mix of punk and hip-hop, this bar embodies the Columbia Heights vibe – kinda edgy, always eccentric and up for a good time. The interior is clapped out in vintage signs and found objects to the point it could be a folk-art museum, the outdoor patio is a good spot for meeting strangers and the upstairs dance floor is a good place to take said strangers for a bit of bump and grind. Trivia: this used to be Nob Hill, which was the longest-operating gay bar in the country (from 1953 to 2004), a major stop on the African American drag-queen circuit, and (o…
reviewed
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D
H Street Country Club
The Country Club is two levels of fantastic-ness: the bottom floor is packed with pool tables, skeeball and shuffleboard, while the top contains (seriously) its own minigolf course ($7 to play), done up to resemble a tour of the city on a small scale. You putt-putt past a trio of Lego lobbyists, through Beltway traffic snarls and past a King Kong–clad Washington monument. The whole vibe of the place just facilitates a relaxed atmosphere where it’s very easy to strike up conversations with strangers – if you’re shy and new to town, we’d highly recommend joining the Country Club, as it’s hard to leave here without hitting up some random in conversation (‘Nice chip, dude’).…
reviewed
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E
Aroma
If you’re a fan of the TV show Mad Men, you’ll love this spot. There’s a pronounced fascination with the 1950s: it’s filled with those kidney-shaped coffee tables and old sofas; the tiled bar serves up the scotch and ciggies; and in general, whenever we come here we want to smooth out our suits and sexually harass our secretaries (that’s a Mad Men reference – we’d never actually do that). That said, this is a politically incorrect bar in one important way: because Aroma does so much business in the cigar-selling trade, it’s exempt from the smoking ban, so if you’ve got a thing against secondhand, you may want to steer clear.
reviewed
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F
Room 11
Room 11 is a little too accurately named: this place really isn’t much bigger than an ambitious living room, and as such it can get pretty crowded. On the plus side, everyone here is quite friendly, the intimacy is warmly inviting on chilly winter nights and there’s a nice, spacious outdoor area for when it gets too hot inside. The crowd here is hip sans pretension, munching tapas off an evolving menu, sipping some excellent wines hand-selected by the management and enjoying some frankly kick-ass cocktails. There’s beer too, of course, but we really recommend you order something that was once a grape, or order off the mixed-drink menu – that’s where these cats excel.…
reviewed
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G
Red and Black
The Red and Black claims to be a New Orleans–style bar, and we’ll accept that assessment. There are no brass bands rolling through, but if there were they wouldn’t feel out of place in this wooden shack, which has all the dilapidated charm of the best parts of the Big Easy. This is first and foremost a live-music venue, where sets are played so up-close and personal you feel like you could kiss the singers (that’s probably a bad idea, as they tend to be tatted graduates of the rock-and-roll school of hard knocks). Bartenders are friendly, and when the R&B isn’t hosting a ripping show, it feels like a friendly-as-hell neighborhood joint.
reviewed
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H
Firefly
Firefly is a restaurant first, but we haven’t eaten here yet and can’t judge it by those merits (other reviews seem to indicate it’s quite good on the culinary front). We can say it’s one of the coolest bars in Dupont, decked out with its surreal, magically happy ‘firefly trees, ’ all candle-lit and reminiscent of childhood summer evenings, and romantic as hell to boot. The cocktail menu is a glorious thing; knock back an Opal (rum, chai spices and cream) and see if the world doesn’t just glow a little more…wait, that’s the firefly trees. Whatever – still happy!
reviewed
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Raven
The best jukebox in Washington, a dark interior crammed with locals and lovers, that neon lighting that casts you under a glow Edward Hopper should rightly paint and a tough but friendly bar staff are the ingredients in this shot, which, when slammed, hits you as DC’s best dive by a mile. One of the greatest nightlife events that occurred over the course of this book’s research happened here: a friend gave another friend a $20 bill, then told him, ‘Make this alcohol.’ Ten minutes later, second friend came back with roughly a case of Schlitz from the bar. That’s quality, people. Quality.
reviewed
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J
Café Saint-Ex
Reminiscent of the Parisian Latin Quarter crossed with a U St lounge, Saint-Ex is always good for a night of sweaty flirting and heavy imbibing. Different DJs spin tunes every night and there’s never a cover charge, although there’s often a crowd. A bar salvaged from a 1930s Philadelphia pub, seats from an old movie theater and classic movies running on the TVs all lend a nostalgic air, but the folks inside are anything but: this is young, hip, popped-collar country. The downstairs lounge plays up the aeronautic theme with a wooden propeller from the owner’s grandfather’s WWI fighter plane.
reviewed
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Looking Glass Lounge
Petworth's best nightspot is an artfully designed neighborhood dive with a great jukebox, DJs on weekends and a fine outdoor patio.
reviewed
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Sign of the Whale
‘They should call this place the sign of the whale tail, ’ a friend once pithily remarked, commenting on the sartorial state of the female clientele (American slang break: ‘whale tail’ is a term for the classy sight of a girl’s thong underwear peeking above her low-rise jeans). The Sign (which is next to strip club Camelot, speaking of G-strings) attracts a raucous GWU crowd, plus a fair few lawyers, on weekends; on other days of the week it comes off as a pub with low-level buzz.
reviewed
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M
DC9
DC9 is as intimate as DC’s big-name venues get, and about as dive-y as well. Not that we’re complaining; there’s always a good edge on in this spot. Up-and-coming local bands, with an emphasis on indie rockers, play most nights of the week; when the live music finishes (often around 11pm) DJs keep the place spinning until about 3am. On the 2nd floor zodiac murals and diner booths set the mellow vibe; downstairs you’ll find a narrow shotgun bar that’s often packed wall to wall.
reviewed
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N
Dan’s Cafe
Dan’s dive is all the more grotty for its location: smack in the middle of the 18th St skimpy-skirt parade. Inside this barely signed bar is dim lighting, old locals, J Crew–looking types slumming it and flasks of whiskey, coke and a bucket of ice on sale for under $12 (!). This is one of DC’s great dives; the interior looks like the sort of place an evil Elks Club would have designed, all un-ironically old school ‘art, ’ cheap paneling and dim lights barely illuminating the unapologetic sluminess.
reviewed
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O
Bar Pilar
Just a stone’s throw from Café Saint-Ex, Bar Pilar is a laid-back option for those prowling the U St Corridor, although ‘laid-back’ is a relative term in these parts. The narrow drinking area doesn’t accommodate too many guests, but those who can squeeze in are treated to a dark, intimate drinking space that is simultaneously buzzy come busy weekend nights. A good spot for those who want to have fun on U St minus the meat-market atmosphere you get in some spots.
reviewed
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P
Sequoia
On a steamy summer night, Sequoia’s patio is the spot to be. Plop down on a plastic chair on its cascading terrace overlooking the Potomac and check out the rich people messing around in boats. Or fight your way through the throng at the bar, grab an overpriced Corona, then start flirting and talking politics with the hottie of your choice. This bar attracts all types – from pretty gays to trustafarian college kids to 30-something lawyers – and has a reputation as a pick-up spot.
reviewed
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Q
Lola’s Barracks Bar & Grill
If the Ugly Mug is the 20-something’s bar of choice around this stretch of Eastern Market–adjacent Capitol Hill, Lola’s is geared more toward 30-somethings and older. The mood is darker, a little more sophisticated – this is a spot to watch Cap Hill professionals drink wine instead of shots, although Lola’s isn’t sedate by any stretch. It’s just that the buzz here is low and constant, compared with the roar at the spots next door.
reviewed
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R
Tombs
Every school of a certain pedigree has ‘that’ bar – the one where faculty and students alike sip pints and play darts under athletic regalia of the old school. The Tombs are Georgetown’s contribution to the genre, and also happened to be a shooting set for St Elmo’s Fire. The house is usually filled with students, professors and the occasional Jesuit priest; walls are decked with rowing accoutrement and, oddly, WWI-era posters.
reviewed
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S
Reef
We mainly come to Reef for the roof, which is heavenly on hot capital nights, but somehow, everyone always ends up in the aquarium-studded main lounge. That’s probably because the roof of the Reef, despite (or because of) it being an amazing space, is often too crowded to really enjoy, at least on weekends. Wherever you end up, every floor is usually packed with the hot and hot-to-trot, so sink a pint and, if you can’t make it outside, make a friend next to the fishies.
reviewed
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Hawk & Dove
The quintessential Capitol Hill bar is a hot spot for political junkies, with intimate corner booths perfect for sipping pints and creating the next District scandal.
reviewed
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Rock & Roll Hotel
The Hilton this hotel ain’t, unless the Hilton went to hell and came back on a screaming motorcycle while wailing on guitars made of fire. Right; that’s a tad hyperbolic, but this is a great, grotty spot to catch rockin’ live sets. Don’t let the name fool you; this hotel hosts all kinds of music genres. This author is about to go catch an Afrofunk show there, and some of the city’s freshest hip-hop acts grace the stage as well.
reviewed
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V
Da’s RFD Washington
RFD – the initials stand for ‘Real Food and Drink, ’ although the food is just greasy bar fare – has one of the most extensive beer menus in town. Compared with other bars of the ‘hundreds of varieties’ of booze genre, RFD has a slick, corporate feel, but the service is fast, it’s rarely out of any one brand and the actual drinking space is huge; if you’ve got a large group, this is a good spot to hit up.
reviewed
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W
McFadden’s
There’s a certain age when bars like McFadden’s stop being fun – we reckon it’s around 16. That doesn’t stop loads (loads) of GWU students from swarming in here, making out in the corner, watching the female staff do Coyote Ugly dances on the bar, dancing on the bar themselves and spending their parents’ college money on Jagerbombs. Needless to say, it’s tons of fun if this is your scene.
reviewed
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Polly's Café
This friendly, no-attitude, basement-level bar was a New U pioneer: It's been around for more than a decade. Exposed brick walls and fireplace coziness make it a fine place to rendezvous before or after a night of music. Polly serves reasonably priced pints, a menu of basics like salads and burgers. A great Saturday and Sunday brunch includes bloody marys and mimosas by the US$9 or so pitcher. Sop it up with one of eight varieties of eggs benedict.
reviewed
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Y
Red Derby
There’s no sign – always a good sign – just the symbol of a red hat. Underneath that cap is a hipster-punk lounge where the ‘tenders know the names, the sweet-potato fries soak up the beer ordered off an impressively long menu and – why yes, that is The Princess Bride – cult movies play on a projector screen. The lighting is blood red and sexy, natch; you can’t help but look good under it.
reviewed
