-
Hemlock Tavern
When you wake up tomorrow with peanut shells in your hair (weren't they all over the floor?), a stiff neck from rocking entirely too hard to The Family Curse (weren't they good?) and someone else's mascara on your armpit (should we even ask?) you'll know it was another successful night at the Hemlock. Weekday nights, stand-up comedy, and literary readings are anything but staid among this motley crowd of San Franciscans - if you lived here, you'd be home now.
-
Herbst Theater
The UN Charter was signed here in 1945, and the luminaries keep on coming with music and dance performances, and the city's stellar City Arts & Lectures series. Aimee Mann, Philip Glass and other guests have to really put on a show to not be upstaged by the splendid beaux arts murals. The theater hosts jazz and classical voice and instrumental soloists, duos and quartets in its Piano Series, Guitar Series and Virtuosi Series.
Family matinees are popular on Saturday afternoons.
-
Hotel Utah
Whoopi Goldberg and Robin Williams broke in the stage on the ground floor of a Victorian residence hotel back in the '70s, and now it's a sure bet for indie-label favorites and acts you'll feel compelled to see on name alone: Dynamite Sweater, Sweet Bedtime Gift Boy, The Midnight Milkmen Bartenders.
-
House Of Shields
Common folk (mostly bike messengers) are royalty for a day in this suitably dim tavern, where you can pull up a studded leatherback throne at a dark mahogany booth to sample a frothy stein or two. You might even be mistaken for Charles or Camilla, since half the lights in the original c-1908 electric-red chandeliers are always burned out. By popular demand it now stays open late, and is a good place to guzzle one while eluding the paparazzi.
-
Intersection For The Arts
Alterna-theater, jazz, literary readings and an upstairs gallery are all part of this nonprofit arts space, the oldest in SF (1965). A recent performance series delved into the lives of incarcerated Californians. The alternative art space also gives grants and offers workshops, including a training workshop on vocal percussion and rap verses; check out the website for details.
-
Irish Bank
Perfectly pulled pints and thick-cut fries with malt vinegar, plus juicy burgers, brats and anything else you could possibly want with lashings of mustard, with the possible exception of your ex. Pull up a church pew and chat with Irish owner Ronin, a former employee who bought the place off his boss and is now every working stiff�s close and personal friend.
-
Jade Bar
Not to sound pervy, but the main reason to go to this trendy three-story bar is the bathroom with the two-way mirror. Technically it's the men's room, but women wait their turn for a see-and-not-be-seen view of the bar while attending to, um, urgent business. Settle in next to the waterfall with a large cocktail, and you might need to come back for a second look.
-
Jazz at Pearl's
A stylish supper club with a friendly, sophisticated vibe, Pearl's features modern jazz talent and has expanded its repertoire to blues and Latin music. It draws a well-heeled, mature crowd with its high-quality vocalists and instrumentalists. Sultry diva Kim Nalley, who owns Pearl's with her husband, is a throwback to the glamorous jazz era, and on some Mondays and Tuesdays, she'll grace audiences with an appearance.
-
Jelly's
'It's got to be jelly, 'cause jam don't shake like that,' claims this serious, Sundays-only muy caliente club, but be warned: if you're not a salsa dancer, you might get snubbed on the crowded dance floor. But the mojitos are strong, the Cuban food rocks, and the outdoor patio overlooking the bay is a more relaxed, danceable alternative.
-
John Murio's Trophy Room
Murio's has a fond reputation as the meanest bar in SF. It sounds like a sports bar, but it isn't, and it's a few decades past its prime. You're likely to encounter the same cast of characters here on any given night; snoop on conversations revealing just what a strange neighborhood the Haight still is.
-
Advertisement
-
John's Grill
'She was a real gone gal, see, and we coulda had something - but she was on the grift, looking for a stoolie, and I wasn't shootin' her kinda pool.' Could be the martinis, the low lighting, or the Maltese Falcon statuette upstairs, but Dashiell Hammett's favorite bar lends itself to hard-boiled tales of lost love and true crimes, confessed while chewing toothpicks.
-
Latin American Club
They serve 'em tall and strong here, and the drinks aren't half bad either. The ladies of the Latin include highball-swilling former basketball players and runway models, and the men do their best to keep pace. Come early to grab coveted window seats and the bartender's attention, but stand often to make sure you still can.
-
Levende Lounge
The virtuoso barkeeps at Levende are reason enough to work this slightly out-of-the-way spot into your evening plans. Genuinely creative mixed bevs are strictly top shelf; some involve freshly squeezed juices and exotic spices. Club-hoppers can claim couches and nibble on appetizers or get up and shimmy to down-tempo lounge grooves, world beats or old-school house. Some nights, live electronic ensembles meld unheard-of sounds.
Call ahead, though: it's often closed for corporate/private events.
-
Lexington Club
To get past the cliquishness at SF's most attractive lesbian bar, don't think you can just start buying around beers for everyone. Be strategic: compliment someone on her skirt (she made it herself) or tattoo (she designed it herself) and casually mention you're undefeated at pinball, pool or thumb-wrestling. When she wins (because she's no stranger to the Lex) pout just a little, and maybe she'll buy you a beer.
-
Li Po
If they served bottled beer with a straw here they could call it a 'Li-Po-Suction' and have an instant hit. But Li Po, bless it, can't be bothered. A fave of the Beat poets, its fake-grotto décor comes with lurid 1960s-era plush red booths and bar stools just waiting for patrons nursing a Bud or a Tsingtao. If things are slow, it may just be you and the bartender.
-
Liberty Café Wine Cottage
Bakery-café during the day, this garden-shedlike cottage behind the Liberty Café turns into a wine bar three evenings a week. Sit up at the bar for a view of flour dust and rolling pins in the industrial kitchen, as the cheery and knowledgeable staff, still in their aprons, pour tastings of character-laden Zin or Petit Syrah.
-
Lime
Meet George Jetson, his ex Judy, and his new partner Joe, all getting chummy over the signature citrus cocktails. Perch atop the outer-space fungi that passes for seating, slurp a key lime martini or two, and pretty soon you'll be able to picture a future where earthlings are uniformly rosy, cozy, well-groomed and a tad giggly. At brunch, order the bottomless around mimosa at your own risk.
-
Liss Fain Dance
This is one of the most innovative modern-dance troupes in San Fran. The dancers have solid classical training, yet they look for ways to crack, if not actually break, the mold. Their movement is precise, but imbued with an athletic physicality not only very American, but very western American. Performances combine movement and music with strong visual design. Check the website for details of performances held in venues throughout the Bay Area.
-
Locus Arts
The young Asian-American nonprofit arts organization recently moved into its own digs, where it rocks the house with open-mic nights and guest DJ events. Programming ranges from emerging local artists like 8th Wonder to international acts like Beijing's punk-rock band Reflector.
-
Lumiere Theater
Right off Polk, the mighty little Lumiere has one large screening room and two smaller rooms, and shows a mix of first-run art-house and foreign films, plus the odd documentary.
-
Advertisement
-
Mad Dog In The Fog
Footy fans drag themselves here at first light to watch matches live on Greenwich Mean Time, and know-it-alls arrive by on Tuesday and Thursday to compete for bragging rights in SF's most eclectic pop-culture quiz. There's no hard liquor or credit-card machine, but cash will get you beer, darts and occasionally live rockabilly.
-
Madrone
Upbeat hip-hop and giggling cuties come as a surprise in a goth-Victorian bar decorated with animal skulls, front-parlor sofas, creepy murals of uprooted madrone trees and art suggesting untimely demises. Play with your choice of infused vodkas, but consult the professionals behind the bar before you find out the expensive way that apricot vodka with pomegranate juice tastes evil.
-
Magic Theater
Now that the upstart theater company is over 40, will it get stuck in its ways? Here's hoping the answer is yes - the Magic is known for taking risks and staging provocative plays by Bill Pullman, Terrence McNally, Edna O'Brien, David Mamet and longtime playwright-in-residence Sam Shepard. Watch the next generation break through in professionally staged works written by teenagers.
-
Make-Out Room
Velvet curtains and round booths add class to the entertainment, which ranges from improv comedy to punk rock fiddle, sometimes on the same night. Otherwise, it's an odd assortment of Formica tables on a bare concrete floor. Between acts, contemplate the mysteries of those old backlit beer signs showing serving suggestions of Schlitz and cocktail wieners... yech, how did that ever work? Because they actually make a Campari and soda sound good.
-
Marsh
The Marsh considers itself a breeding ground for creativity. One-acts and one-off stagings of works in progress turn into performances where the audience encircles the performers like cult members. This is San Francisco theater at its most exciting. Tickets are open to a diverse audience by way of a sliding scale pricing structure.
