Entertainment in New Orleans
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Hi Ho Lounge
The Hi Ho is a perfect Bywater bar, the sort of place where you’re as likely to compare tattoos with the guy sitting next to you as witness a local second-line after party. Costume parties and punk concerts seem to take place frequently, and the atmosphere is redolent of a barnyard decorated by a farm full of Jimi Hendrix roadies.
reviewed
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B
Napoleon House
Just as the best emperors are the deposed ones, the best bars are those that have seen better days. Having opened its doors in 1797, Napoleon House is a particularly attractive example of what Walker Percy termed ‘vital decay.’ By all appearances, its stuccoed walls haven’t received so much as a dab of paint in over two centuries, and the diffuse glow pouring through the open doors and windows in the afternoon draws out the room’s gorgeous patina. The back courtyard is also pleasant, day or night. As an added bonus, the place has a colorful connection to Bonaparte himself: after the emperor was banished to St Helena, a band of loyal New Orleanians reputedly plotted to…
reviewed
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C
Dungeon
Got to admit, this place made us a little nervous at first. It doesn’t open till the witching hour, and some of the bouncers have filed their teeth into pointy vampire fangs. Then we observed the words ‘Ye Olde’ in small type on the sign out front. So this is really just ‘Ye Olde Dungeon, ’ which doesn’t sound so threatening after all. Having descended into the club’s basement chambers, we found Goths outnumbered by yuppies and bikers. DJs keep things throbbing until dawn’s early light (egads! sunlight!) and several barkeeps serve up ghoulish cocktails (with creepy names like the Witches Brew and the Dragon’s Blood), which the bar promises will help you ‘leave your…
reviewed
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D
Bombay Club
‘Why yes Lord Snarkypants, I did indubitably have a very fine martini in the colonies.’ ‘Surely you jest, Sir Tweedybottom! Wherever did you find one?’ Right here, guys. In complete defiance of the Bourbon St jungle, Bombay is a study in Raj-era refinement, all overstuffed armchairs and candlelit tables. It’s about sipping and savoring, rather than guzzling by the gallon, although a few of these bad boys will get you as wild as anyone who’s detonated a Hand Grenade. The list of over 100 martini cocktails, bound in leather, includes all those deadly vodka concoctions that veil the alcohol in frivolous fruity flavors. Of course, you can also order a stiff Churchill model…
reviewed
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Hookah Cafe
The hip Hookah is a swank-looking bar/supperclub with a gimmick, which is that patrons can smoke hookahs at their table. For the uninitiated, a hookah is a groovy Middle Eastern water pipe that looks like an extra-terrestrial musical instrument, or something pulled out of a goat. A full tobacco menu features shisha blends from far-off Saudi Arabia, Jordan and the UAE.
Most people just drink here, or sup on Indian cuisine, but we encourage sharing a smoke with your friends. It's a rare pleasure. A good time to do it is Sunday night, when the Sisters of Salome Belly Dance troupe invades the isles and raises the atmosphere bar a few hip-shifting notches. Between the 'backy'…
reviewed
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F
Pat O’Brien’s
For a tourist trap, Pat O’Brien’s has genuine atmosphere and history, though the gift shop does lend a whiff of commercialism, and the Bourbon St boozeoisie has the run of the joint. Anyways, the bar could be in a barren white room and folks would still pack in for the trademark drink, the Hurricane, a lethal 29oz blend of rum, orange juice, pineapple juice and grenadine. ‘Hey, this doesn’t taste strong at all!’ Thirty minutes later: ‘Dude. I love you sho much. Whash yer name agin?’ The back courtyard, lit by flaming fountains, has an obvious allure for anyone who remembers wanting to jump ship during the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland.
reviewed
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G
Cooter Brown’s Tavern & Oyster Bar
Cooter’s is a Riverbend local that takes its beer seriously, serving over 40 draft brews and hundreds of international bottled brews. College kids, local characters and Uptown swells drop in for a few brews and freshly shucked oysters, or to shoot pool or watch sports on TV. While you’re joining them in any of these activities, pause to appreciate the tavern’s ‘Beersoleum & Hall of Foam’ – a gallery of 100 plaster bas-relief statuettes of everybody from Liberace to Chairman Mao, each holding a bottle of beer (Albert Einstein, Mother Theresa and Andy Warhol also appear). This curious, still-growing exhibit is the work of the uniquely talented Scott Conary.
reviewed
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Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop
This gutted brick cottage is one of the most atmospheric in the Quarter; it’s a bit of a crying shame it feels like a frat boy hang-out half the time. Rumors hold that this was once the workshop of the smuggler Jean Lafitte and his brother Pierre. Whether that tasty bit of lore is true or not (historical records suggest ‘not’), the ancient house did go up in the 18th century and endured the fires that destroyed most of the French Quarter during the Spanish era. This is the oldest bar in the Quarter, but that sense of history is thrown out the window at night (in a fun way), when drunk tourists gather round the back-room piano and sing along to Fats Domino and Otis Redding…
reviewed
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Tropical Isle
Everyone has a Tropical Isle memory. Usually, it’s pretty fuzzy. This is an unabashed Bourbon St tourist bar that serves ‘Hand Grenades’; you can tell thanks to a subtle marketing campaign wherein a guy in a hand-grenade suit stands outside the bar. Drinking more than two Hand Grenades is usually the kicker to a night that involves screaming the lyrics of ‘Sweet Home Alabama’/’Sweet Child O’ Mine’/Insert Other ‘Sweet’ Titled Song Here, table dancing, bead tossing, bead receiving, the random mashing of tongues down strangers’ throats and the eventual gathering of the limp shreds of your dignity the next day. Woo!
reviewed
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Abbey
The riffraff congregating in this atmospheric Decatur St dive tend to dress in black. The place has a faded and jaded port-of-call feel to it, with blasé bartenders, transient hipsters and shifty-looking characters. You needn’t be pierced or tattooed to fit in, but a little Joe Strummer swagger won’t hurt. The jukebox reflects these sensibilities, but also includes rocking sides by the original Man in Black. And if you’re seeking Lee Hazelwood’s brand of trouble, the juke here has that covered, too. At least stop by for a shot of Jack if you’re prowling the Lower Quarter.
reviewed
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K-Doe’s Mother-in-Law Lounge
Ernie K-Doe was famous for writing the song ‘Mother-in-Law’ and frequently proclaiming his ‘Emperorship of ‘he Universe.’ The Mother-in-Law lounge carries on his surreal legacy, filled with life-sized statutes of the Emperor of the Universe, touching pictures of his empress (dearly departed wife, Antoinette) and lots of loyal customers. Note the hearse out front: Antoinette bought it before Katrina (because, hey, a hearse has storage space, right?) and staff apparently used the car to sneak back into the flooded city several times (because who’s going to stop a hearse?).
reviewed
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Jean Lafitte’s Old Absinthe House
The Old Absinthe House is rightfully a place you should come to check out the historic bar, rather than drink at it, as the customer base is of the bottom-shelf Bourbon St sort. Here’s the skinny: this historic spot was opened in 1807. A number of bars in New Orleans, including this one, served absinthe before it was outlawed in 1914. The mysterious beverage had a psychotropic allure – wormwood was the active ingredient – but it allegedly sent enthusiasts to the loony bin. Today, Herbsaint, a locally produced anisette, is a relatively safe stand-in for old absinthe-based drinks.
reviewed
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Harrah’s Casino
You’d think all manner of vice would be welcome in the Big Easy, but Harrah’s, near the foot of Canal St, doesn’t get much local love. In spite of its best efforts to fit in – there’s a perfunctory Mardi Gras parade every night – Harrah’s still manages to make guests feel like they’re in Sparks, Nevada. It’s a big ol’ casino that’s part of a national chain, and it pretty much feels exactly like that. Nevertheless, people do trickle in for the casino gambling, buffet dining, free parking and hotel discounts.
reviewed
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Balcony Music Club
Balcony is all about the acts; if there’s a dud band playing you can pass it up, but on good nights it forms a very convenient crux in the French Quarter–Faubourg Marigny Decatur St stumble o’ fun. The 1920s flapper nights, held on a semi-regular basis, are the best; if you’ve ever seen the 1996 movie Swingers, it’s kind of exactly like the scene in the Brown Derby. If that cultural reference soared past, imagine walking into a speakeasy circa the Al Capone days and you’ve got an idea of what’s going on.
reviewed
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Vic’s Kangaroo Café
Here’s a little something to make Australians either sick or prone to bust out the Anzac Day regalia: Vic’s phone number is, no joke, 524-GDAY. There are all kinds of other Australia-themed tat here, and while we admittedly haven’t met any diggers at the bar, there must be some around. There’s a kangaroo with boxing gloves on the sign, right? Well, if there aren’t any Australians here, there certainly are plenty of service staff from downtown’s restaurants, who pour into Vic’s when they get off their shifts and generally turn it upside down under (heh).
reviewed
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Spotted Cat
A throwback retro cool permeates through this excellent Frenchman staple you might recognize from numerous episodes of Tremé. Hipster jazz is on nightly and there's never a cover unless a special event is on.
reviewed
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Mahalia Jackson Theater
The New Orleans Ballet Association (www.nobadance.com) usually runs a few productions annually. The season is very short, and is fleshed out with presentations by visiting dance companies from around the world. Performances are primarily held at the Mahalia Jackson Theater in Louis Armstrong Park and Dixon Hall at Tulane University. Also held at the Mahalia Jackson Theater are productions from the New Orleans Opera(www.neworleansopera.org). The company rarely causes much of a stir, but remains an important part of the local culture.
reviewed
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Dos Jefes Uptown Cigar Bar
Long touted as one of New Orleans’ better venues for modern jazz, Dos Jefes is also a great spot for a smoke. Patrons can select from a list of 40 fine cigars, light up and puff plumes of sweet-smelling smoke into the room. There’s a ridiculously addictive game outside where you try and hook a ring on a string to a series of hooks; if aliens ever wanted to catch the male population of New Orleans off guard, they need only install this toy in every one of the city’s backyards.
reviewed
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Pirate’s Alley Cafe
The narrow pedestrian alley hidden in the shadow of St Louis Cathedral is a natural spot for a tiny little bar, and this nook fits the bill perfectly. It’s owned by friendly folk and has the atmosphere of a little Montparnasse hideaway with no claim to fame. You can snag a stool at the bar and meet the regular characters who seem to drop by every few minutes, or claim a table out on the alley and soak up the atmosphere of the Old Quarter. There’s lots of pirate-themed fun going on.
reviewed
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Mid-City Rock & Bowl
A night at the Rock & Bowl is a quintessential New Orleans experience, but as it was in the process of moving to 3000 S Carrollton at the time of writing, we were not able to check out its new gigs at its current location. Friends who have gone say the scene and the shows are the same as ever: a strange, wonderful combination of bowling alley, deli, and a huge live music and dance venue, where patrons get down to New Orleans roots music while trying to avoid that 7-10 split.
reviewed
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Good Friends Bar
A quintessential Quarter gay bar, where the scene can go from casual drink to debauchery unleashed at the drop of a hat. The crowd of regulars really are good friends, partly because the bar stools are so damn comfortable. Easy-on-the-eye bartenders make the bar's famous drink, the 'Separator' (Kahlúa ice cream, milk, brandy and coffee liqueur). The upstairs piano area, the 'Queen's Head Pub,' heats up with show tunes on Sunday night. The balcony is a good spot to chill.
reviewed
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Republic New Orleans
Republic showcases some pretty awesome live acts, including George Clinton and other good funk and blues talent, but it’s also the kind of place where teenagers from the ’burbs come to behave very badly. There’s your conundrum: your night may consist of a potentially great show, but there’s a very good chance it will also include greasy guys, screeching girls, lots of jostling and the person next to you being sick all over the sidewalk.
reviewed
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Saturn Bar
In the solar system of New Orleans’ bars, Saturn is planet punk and yet much more. Originally, it was simply an eclectic neighborhood bar where a working-class crew of regulars appreciated, in an un-ironic way, the outsider art and leopard- skin furniture. Then the hipsters started moving in. Today the Bywater community, punk scene and hipster enclaves live together in peace and camaraderie, united by neon lighting, flashy gambling machines and great live music.
reviewed
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Cure
It’s rare that a genuinely innovative bar comes along, so hooray for Cure. Set in a smooth and polished space with a Zen outdoor garden, this is where you come for a well-mixed drink, period. Try the appropriately dubbed Howitzer (bourbon, bitters, lemon juice and magic), which will pretty much blow your sobriety to smithereens. The staff take mixology and atmosphere seriously here, and in the evening you need to come correct: no shorts and sandals for guys.
reviewed
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Hostel
The Hostel is a hip little space with a smooth slate bar, a modern American food menu and attractive staff serving up just a little more than a Miller. Instead, they mix some fine cocktails and keep a good stock of wine behind the bar, serving the above to a well-heeled, well-dressed crowd of tourists and locals who demand a little more out of their night than Jägermeister and beads. Not that you can’t find Jägermeister or beads here.
reviewed