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Wuppertal I say to you and Wuppertal once more Sirs. Wuppertal is where I’m just passing through on the train as I write today’s entry of STBB. Amazingly the predictive text on my phone offered up Wuppertal when I was only a Wupp in, that’s quite the dictionary. Anyway enough of all this Wuppertal wubbish.

Last night I went in search of that bar Topshop put me onto but about half way there my route was impeded by some seriously heavy duty roadworks. I considered finding a way round but it was dark and late and the area I was in looked a bit humpty so I didn’t want to hoist the tourist flag high by getting a map out, you may as well where a bumbag as do that. A walk down The Rhine and a few cheap bottles of Kolsch at the hostel was the rest of my night.

I’ve not really met anyone I’ve liked on this trip yet, maybe I’m just fussy in my company but you don’t half get a lot of muppets in hostels. I’m quite happy to keep myself to myself a lot of the time though as a lot of conversations you over-hear are either inane or pretentious. You do get sound, nice and cool people but I don’t find them to be in the majority.

This morning I just about had time to go to the Schokoladenmuseum (chocolate museum) before my train. Very extensive it was to, they cover every facet of the process, from the cultivation of the crops (usually in tropical 3rd world countries) to a working factory plant showing you it being made. There’s even an enclosed room which has the exact required temperature and humidty to grow a cocoa tree in, it was hotter than a sauna in there, I’m surprised the Germans weren’t getting nuddy. The most interesting part for me was reading about how the Conquistadors first brought cocoa back to Europe from the Aztecs in the 16th century. You also got a few little beaut samples of course.

So my route today that has had me pass through Wuppertal (no! Stop saying Wuppertal!) first takes me from Koln to Munster, then a change to get to Osnabruck, another one to get to Bremen and then finally one more to my ultimate destination of Hamburg. It should take 6 hours 21 minutes in total. I have to wait nearly 40 minutes in Bremen so I might get to have a wee butchers there, which is okay as I was at one point considering it as a stopover.

A lot of other travellers (backpackers not toothless people selling pegs) I’ve seen about on trains and that don’t half lug some amount of gear about with them. I don’t get it, it can’t be much fun, they look like roadies for a U2 ‘concert’. Not me, I’m a firm believer of keeping it simple and travelling relatively light. I’ve pretty much got everything I need and very little besides.

I’ve not shaved since I’ve turned 27 but it’s getting to that critical point when a hint of redness can be caught from certain angles on a sunny day. Damn that dormant Scottish ginger gene. I used to think that there was only a lot of ginger beards north of Hadrian’ Wall because they were always dribbling Irn Bru but apparently not.

I don’t know much about chromosomes (except that mongaloids have one too many, as in the ace Devo song) and the like but I hope this doesn’t mean that if I ever have ankle biters they will be full-on afflicted. If it skips a generation that’s fine, someone else’s problem then.

Apologies for the above to Ronnie (who doesn’t read this blog anyway), Coopa (strawberry blonde my arse, tinge at best), Elizabeth I, Henry VIII, Chris Evans, Spuggy from Byker, Chesney from Corrie, Gary Megson, Winston Churchill and Jesus Christ. I’m not convinced about the last 2 but Ronnie swears by it.

Apologies to all Scottish folk also, but it’s alright I’m allowed to say these things as I’m half McDuff. I’ve even got the ginger beard to prove it.

While in Osnabruck I had my first dalliance with currywurst. A bit of bread, some nice tangy curry sauce and some diced bratwurst. Umm umm.

I’m going to have to try and trim these posts down a bit, they’re taking me Buzz Lightyears. I think when I spend a lot of time on my tod I get to thinking too much and a smidging of it gets documented here, dear oh dear eh.

Great flaming tankards of Wuppertal to you all.