Thorn Tree travel forum

Latest news from the Land of Smiles

Bangkok gem traders ripped off in tourist dud-cheque scam. * Tuk tuk seen driving on road. * US college girl traveller heard to exclaim, “ OH MY GOD!” * Drug cop reprimanded for talk first, shoot later policy. * Bangkok landlord accidentally burns down whole rent controlled city block. * 5% of budget travellers have no idea. * Pickup-truck collides with tree. 47 members of the same family injured. * Tired and emotional gap year girl seen at Full Moon Party. * World rallychamp Marcus Groenholm overtaken by tourist minibus on timed section of Chiang Rai Rally. * Anopholes mosquitoes decimated by alcoholic poisoning - researchers blame plague of Irish boozers. * 8% of expats have no idea. * Songthaew driver seen to give change. * Khao Sok Park rangers ban Irish passport holders after intoxicated leeches wreck Jungle Lodge bar. * Patong jetski rider injured by recklessly thrown beachball. * Californian skateboarder sets world record 342 kph down mountain pass on northern Samui - still doing 230+ at end of Bo Phut pier. * Government urges Thai businessmen to emulate western counterparts. * Experts at a loss to explain spike in purchases of German prestige cars, golf course condos and offshore tax minimisation schemes. * Tired and emotional gap year girl whines, “No one understands me.” * Company making radically quiet longtail motors files for bankruptcy. * Coastguard winds down search for missing skateboarder off southern Ko Phangan. * Buttock flashing Aussie surfer tells police after arrest at Full Moon Party, “I don’t get it.” * 25% of package tourists have no idea. * Experts attribute 2% fall in road toll to 20% rise in size of traffic offence bribes. * Police announce new 25% target for reduction in road toll. * Gallic tourists manage to transfer baggage from pier to Ko Whai ferry in under 3 hours. * 30% of sex tourists have no idea. * Cobra on life support after biting Irish tourist. * Tuk tuk makes direct railway station to KSR trip. * Buttock flashing Kylie Minogue clone at FMP bribed by Thai police for repeat performance. * Freeway and tunnel into Railey announced. * Park rangers find skateboarder shaped void punched through treetops on highest Ko Phangan Peak. Search shifts to Ko Tao. * 50% of this forum’s feminazis have no idea. * Overloaded songthaew sets world wheelstanding record. * Shameless farang bare-flesh display on Samui shocks Thai domestic holiday makers. * Hua Hin chamber of commerce can’t explain loss of local tourists to southern Gulf islands. * Smart rabid dog doesn’t bite Irishman. * Government law and order consultant unmasked as Nuremberg Trials escapee and former Pinochet security chief. * Self proclaimed internet Thai culture expert spends all holiday in Nana Plaza bar. * Bizarre identity mix-up sees paparazzi and royal watchers stake out Fergy’s Cha Am Gazebo and Grill. * New 130kph defacto speed limit for tourist minibuses will only be enforced in urban areas. * Government spokesperson justifies replacement of ministerial BMWs with more expensive Mercedes as an economy initiative: lower depreciation. * Air France flight hits minor turbulence near Phuket. Passengers don’t panic. * 70% of this forum’s environazis have no idea. * Local budget airline hits minor turbulence after Phuket landing. Control tower directs pilot off freeway into airport. * NurburgRing style race circuit planned for Ko Samet. * Brighton bootscooters slam music choice at island all night dance party. * Research shows 10% of expats are sometimes sober. * Vivacious and beautiful female traveller calls shy, unattractive sex tourist loser a loser. * No chance of ‘98 financial crisis repeat, claims government. * Thai central banker perplexed: “Profligate lending? Capital adequacy ratio? The credit multiplier? Please explain?” * British males agree best part of Thai travel is ease of access to Premier League replays. * 5000 berth marina and cruise liner terminal announced for Ko Poda. * Research indicates football fans sulk for an average 3 days when replays show their side losing. * Disproportionately high numbers of very pretty Thai females on Hat Yai to Singapore buses attributed to insatiable demand for secretarial services. * Stall holders treated for shock after Israeli bargain hunters visit Chang Mai night market. * 80% of this forum’s culture experts have no idea. * 25 backpackers crushed in rush for discount dreadlocks. * New Zealand, Australian and Thai authorities sign new 6 month visa-free agreement. * Isan farmers begin moving nervous sheep to Laos. * Pedantic Swiss tourist saves second half of duty free booze for second half of trip. * Bob Marley fans riot after “Hotel California” announced top tune by KSR bar owners. * Grinning and exhausted young Brit says, “She was really a guy? Blimey!” * Defence spokesperson “mystified” when questioned about army purchase of logging trucks. * Katoey association announces end to backdoor discounts. * Holidaying Wall St commodity trader moans about spike in KPG accommodation prices around Full Moon Party time. * 35 year old traveller clams: “Phi Phi is way better now.” * International airport planned for Ko Nangyuan. * Tired and emotional gap year girl whines, “Send more money.” * Strange kilometre long skidmarks through front door of Cha Am bar and grill lead police to missing skateboarder undergoing post-flight debriefing with go go dancers in mud-wrestling pit. * 100% of this forum’s weather nerd
has no idea

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