1

I think you've been misinformed about Gatwick, it's much closer to Skegness than Exeter. I believe there is still a Butlins there, which would be a great place for lunch. From there, I'd take a boat to Dublin, and then fly to Stornaway, and take the postbus to Edinburgh. Going via Shettleston will allow you to see a side of Glasgow that tourists rarely encounter.

That's probably the first two days taken care of, so for the remaining time, I'd recommend hitchhiking to Stonehenge. This is best done on motorways, which are the scenic routes. Stonehenge could easily occupy you for the whole trip, but as you have limited time, cut across from there to Fakenham (see the Knowhere Guide for details). A very British thing to do is hire a narrowboat, I recommend the stretch of the Leeds and Liverpool that passes through Blackburn for this. From there, you can easily travel to Barry Island, by far the most wonderful place in the whole of Wales. And then perhaps round your trip off with a nice day in Barrow-in-Furness, or if that's not your thing, maybe a walk across the sands in Morecambe Bay.

Weather will be freezing, possibly snow - May is not a great month to choose, couldnt you bring your trip forward to early March? I can't advise on veggie food, although I know veggie friends of mine rarely eat out, so I suspect it's hard to find. Not sure why you expect to have any trouble getting in, I was just reading in the Daily Mail that 10 million people a week come here with one way tickets, so I assume its the norm. But I have to disappoint you on the benefits front, as it appears the government are doing away with them.

If you want to know more, you could PM me.

Edited by: Groa, because I can

2

Your comprehensive reply fills me with delightfulness.
As regards Skegness I think it is quite bracing, will my flip flops be ok for walking round in? I saw a picture once of a lot of discarded paper down somewhere called 'chip pan alley', is this a tourist site as well?

If I am short of money, as it seems I'll have no problem entering the country, I understand claiming something called 'expenses' by visiting the government house in London (parlament?) is easy to achieve? I need to have at least three addresses though and rent out at least one of them to my girlfriend?
Also, to get around I may hire a car. I am by nature quite a fast driver so getting to see everything would be do-able. I'm told that I can nominate someone else to take the speeding points and fine. Must this be a relative or spouse?

Lastly, for now, I've not looked at a map or done any research, that's really why I'm posting on here, I just don't seem to have the time, but I've always wanted to see France as well. Do you think I'll be able to? I think I can hitch a ride inside one of the container trucks going through the tunnel to get back? There seems to be lots of people doing it, I presume there is some meeting up place near the French side of the tunnel so I can get advice?

3

Garbage.

4

Mark, I think you'd be better with sandals, rather than flip-flops. That way you can wear socks as well, and combine stylishness with warm feet. Plastic bags over the top are useful for when it rains, and have the double benefit of acting like skis in the snow.

I thought chip pan alley was somewhere that musicians hung out, but I'm married to an American, so am often culturally confused.

I think expenses are a rather bureaucratic way of proceeding; a simpler way to cut your accommodation costs would be to 'fall seriously ill' each evening and seek a bed at local hospitals. This is free, and is known as health tourism.


No, any fool will do.

I think, given the itinerary I have suggested, it'd be simpler - although not perhaps as fast - to stow away on a ship from Harwich. One of them must go to France, or some other part of Europe, which is a landmass not far from us, and all the same. People there speak a language known as foreign, I understand.

Has anyone warned you about the British sense of humour, which mostly manifests itself as sarcasm? Generally, this involves people saying the opposite of what they actually mean. I believe post number 3 is a fine example of this.

Edited by: Groa. celebrating one functionality

5

I think number 3 is referring to the paper in chip pan alley.
Not a tourist site at all then. He must be familiar with Skeggy.

I will come back to this later, I just need to see if I can source some recycled vegetarian plastic bags that have not been used to harm animals.

6

I've been Tango'd.

7

London is relatively safe. Safe, that is, compared to Helmund province in Afghanistan, or to the rim of Etna during an eruption.

8

London is relatively safe - I don't have a mother-in- law anywhere near the city.

Edited by: pedro555

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@#7 or when Millwall have just lost!

10

Ha, Micky. You managed to read my full posting before the Mods deleted it. :>))

11

Oh - I'm so confused (that doesn't take much!) with what the mods are and aren't deleting/not allowing.

12

I have no idea why. No 'naughty words' or defamation or anything. They make up the rules as they go along.
The one thing I have discovered is - they don't like long posts...

13

Ah, that I hadn't noticed.

14

Go see my new posting in Wildlife and Nature, though ..... :>))