Woring Holiday in the UK - crazy homesickness. Thoughts?
Replies: 9 - Last Post: Feb 18, 2013 11:47 PM Last Post By: neiljohnson
Feb 14, 2013 8:17 AM
Woring Holiday in the UK - crazy homesickness. Thoughts?Hi all,
My first post, and it has to be a total killjoy one haha. I'm 23 and I've really recently moved to the UK for an open-ended working holiday. I'm two weeks in and massively struggling with homesickness, but determined not to give up so soon!
I'm from Australia, and miss my friends and family A LOT! I love experiencing life over here, but I have started feeling quite anxious about my work and building social connections here. I feel sad a lot of the time, and it's weird because it's mostly over things that happened at home, months ago, that I had moved on from - specifically a bad breakup from 6 months ago. It's just weird because I think the homesickness and unfamiliarity over here is letting in things that I had previously got over and they are getting to me over here when they didn't at home.
I have made some really lovely friends over here, and generally feel confident when I am out and about, but these little anxious/sad moments creep up whenever I go back to my flat. I'm sure this is a very common thing for long-term travelers, it would be great to hear how others have dealt with it so they can enjoy their stay.
Feb 14, 2013 8:57 AM
1I understand the concept of 'homesick' but have never experienced it personally. I used to be amazed when I would meet tourists who had been away from home for 4 or 5 days and talked about missing home and wanting to get back to their dog (actually had one person say their dog), friends, family, etc.
It seems clear to me that this issue exists for some people far more than others and no one can know just how much it affects someone else.
You've only been away from home for 2 weeks and it is bothering you enough to write here. No one can tell you if it will bother you less as time goes on or become increasingly more of an issue. You are the only one who is going to find that out. All I can suggest is that you wait and see. Hearing that other people coped or didn't cope really isn't relevant. Either you will or you will not regardless of what others did.
Some people do find being away from home is not for them and do return home sooner rather than later. If that happens, the good thing is that at least it is not like someone who emmigrated to another country intending it to be a permanent move and then discovered after going through all that entails, that it was not for them.
The important thing I think is to know that everyone is different. Being homesick is not good or bad in the sense of you shouldn't feel homesick. If you do you do. We are all just different. So don't beat yourself up about it. See how it goes, if it passes fine, if it gets worse, go home. Either way it is just a learning experience.
Feb 14, 2013 9:47 AM
2Luise, it's been very cold here over the past week and what with that and the grey skies everyone in England (London?) is feeling a bit 'off' right now. February always seems to be the worst month for depressed spirits.
I remember when I first came to London, in winter after two end-to-end summers, how much I hated it: grey skies, grey streets, grey buildings - and grey faces everywhere.
Then suddenly, end of April, the green leaves started appearing on the trees I hadn't noticed before; the skies were blue - and people were smiling. That was the point at which i fell in love with London - and I've been here ever since. (43+ years now, with trips abroad. I've made my home here and I love it.
Hang on in there, remember, things can only get better. :>))
And if you want a friendly e-community to chat with, take a look at http://figjamnation.proboards.com/ - a group of female travellers who used to hang out on this board. We're a friendly lot (mostly).
Feb 14, 2013 9:59 AM
3University of youtube will help.
I've learned a ton of English history. BBC has lots of documentaries on there.
And the Sturt-Wills Expedition, which is what got me to Oz about 50 years ago. "VCooper's Creek" by ALan Morehead.
I'll forever be greatful.
Stayed and wandered and workedthere for 2.4 years.
Feb 14, 2013 12:03 PM
4Hi, I think its just part of a process to get through for you at the moment. You mentioned issues from back home, specifically a relationship break up. Now you have had some time and distance, its natural to go through a bout of self analysis. So its OK to be a bit down in the dumps. I am sure the weather is not helping either.
Spring in London will be glorious when it comes!
Feb 14, 2013 3:18 PM
Feb 14, 2013 11:25 PM
6I can recall February as the worst time for me in the UK (I am from oz) just take it week by week, set yourself a trigger date to go and do something, stay off face book but let family know you are ok and get some interests of a physical nature that make you sleep better and give you an activity to look forward to.
Feb 15, 2013 6:56 AM
Feb 16, 2013 6:10 AM
8Seconding that the weather really does get you down. I'm in Italy, where it's really quite sunny and pleasant most of the time, and I still get cranky in winter. Hang in there, it's already mid-february!
Plus, even without the weather, there's a lot of little (and big!) stress involved in moving overseas -- finding somewhere to live, working out which supermarket is best, starting a new job... The first time I did it, I underestimated how much mental energy all those things take, and found myself bursting into tears one night over a work deadline that was months away and that I was on track to meet. A few weeks later, I was fine: it really does get better with time :)
Something that has helped me stay happy this winter is to say that every weekend, I will go out and do something fun/cheesy touristy for at least 1 hour. That's it. It doesn't sound like much, which is the whole point -- when you're tired and it's cold the thought of taking on some major comittment is just too much. But going to an interesting museum for 1 hour? I can do that. And of course, once I get out of the house, I pick up enough momentum to keep going and suddenly I've had a fun saturday and life feels a lot better.
Feb 18, 2013 11:47 PM
9some good advice here!
i'm from england and i live in england now, but a few years ago i moved across to berlin all by myself to live and i had some doubts, feelings of homesickness and worries about whether or not i had done the right thing.
i think its pretty natural to stress, i mean its a big thing to do, to go on your own to another country to live and leave all your friends and family and everything that is comfortable, secure, and comforting.
when i was by myself i did often wonder what on earth i was doing there! but why not? everyone has to be somewhere.
try and remember why you moved in the first place and throw yourself into your new life, seek out new experiences and focus on all the different things you can do and think of all the positive things you want to do.
i know people who when they are living abroad seek out things from back home - they try and find and make friends with people from their own country and join ex-pat groups and stuff and go to restaurants and pubs and whatever from their own country... in my view i don't think this works too well. it just reminds you more of home. i found it better when i was in berlin to make friends with locals and all my friends were german. it helped me get used to living there a lot better, i enjoyed my experiences more because i felt like i lived there rather than was just a visitor, and eventually it helped me feel more at home.
its certainly the easy option, to give up and go back home, but i wouldn't do it just yet. ride it out x
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