1

OK, this is not what you want to hear, but this is a really unrealistic plan. How are you going to get residency? Having emigrated to two different countries, I know that immigrations view of a relationship is pretty narrow, generally you need to show you have been living together for a least a year. I have no idea what Austria's rule on this is. Then you cant speak the language, how are you going to get by? What skills do you have to compete with all those trilingual locals? Dropping out of college does not look so flash on a CV.

Speaking of which, if you have any hopes of living outside the US, a college degree is a very handy quailification to have. Education is a privilege that should not be thrown away.

Finish your degree, its the smart thing to do. If he is the "one" then he will wait.

2

Why don't you try to enroll into a college/university in Austria? There must be programs in English and you could get a student visa for the length of your studies. You might even be able to do some part time work while studying there, depending on the visa.

3

chucking it all in for a boy (or girl) is never good - especially one you don't actually know that well.

finish your studies. If he isn't there at the end, you can be assured that crossing the planet for him would have been a bad move.

4

That's important because your youth is causing you to inject drama into the situation. Neither of you will die from loneliness or frustration if you spend a year or 2 apart. (How do you think U.S. military families cope with deployments?) While you finish your degree, enroll in some German language classes.

Start researching marriage. If boyfriend is balking at the idea, ask him if it really turns him on to have a live-in girlfriend who's helpless, broke, and utterly dependent on him. (If he says "Ja!" that is REALLY bad news.) Ask him to demonstrate how he's going to support both of you AND help you pay back those loans. If you think this sounds unromantic, trust me: worrying and arguing constantly about money kills love, sex, and everything else that is good about relationships.

5

I know theres like no thought put into this "plan" at all..but at the same time this is my idea: say I do decide to finish my degree..im majoring in sociology...how the hell am i going to get a job in the sociology field in Austria when I don't even speak the language. In both scenarios (me finishing my degree and moving there and me not finishing it and still moving there) I end up with a crappy job at a bar or hostel or something where they might need people who speak english. Also, I took a german course last semester.....i've since realized that learning new languages is definitely not my forte. I am absolutely terrible at it. Learned hardly anything and now Im at the point where i have so many credits that taking any course not specifically related to my major is going to cost me out of pocket and I just don't feel that it's worth the money.

6

I feel for you. It's so hard to be away from someone you care for, especially if you don't know if it's going to work, and the first 6 months/year of a relationship are really fraught with getting to know and trust one another.

From what I read of your situation, I echo the others on this board:

• You should really just finish off your degree. Just get it done, asap. It's just a piece of paper at the end of the day .

• You can defer your loans for a year at a time. It's easy. Don't let them go into default. Then there's no need freak out about getting arrested/the other scare tactics these loan agencies use.

• Studying abroad in Austria is one possibility. Do it independently rather than through your university's study abroad programs. You'll save lots of $.

• Unless you have a European/EC passport, it may be difficult for you to get residency when not in school.

• You may want to consider working as an au pair - you're a good age, the right nationality, and your BF may help you find a nice family. That way you're not living with him too early on in the relationship. Also, your German will improve with immersion.

My opinions are just that. But here's where I'm coming from, 15+ years older than you:

• Studied abroad in France while in university on my own, which got me a student visa (no work permit) and immersion-level French, for a very low investment.

• In a 10-year relationship with a guy I met 'on the road'. A relationship that was originally going to be 3 weeks (we met in Korea, a place we were both itching to leave), but really hit it off, so decided to stay to see if we'd work out.

• Married 2 years after we met, but lived in different countries for 1.5 years afterwards, working on our own projects

• Have spent on average 3-4 months of every year apart while we (usually I) travel/live somewhere related to my work

• I'm American, he's English, there are cultural differences big and small, but a common language at least

• Currently considering going for an advanced degree after finding my Bachelor's legally gets me only limited/uninteresting work in certain countries.

• We'll be moving to the UK for potential advanced degrees - and a British passport for me - next year. This will take 3 years of residency.

• Student loans are a perennial chip on the shoulder, but my BFA (painting - mostly useless! but sometimes useful, like with my current job) has at least ensured I can get a legal job wherever I live.

7

"a British passport for me...This will take 3 years of residency."

FYI it is now 6 years (5 for ILR + 1) as for other immigration categories.

8

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/visas-immigration/partners-families/citizens-settled/spouse-cp/settlement/

9

As a "half-Austrian" (studied and lived there for the last 6 years) my advice would be:

Either finish your degree in America or do a semester abroad at the University in Austria. But keep in mind that what is called a Bachelor in Austria is more like your Master in America as our programs are very specialized (e.g. if you study a Bachelor in Psychology, you will ONLY have classes regarding psychological topics). Also, even in Vienna which has the biggest University in the country, you will find 90% of the classes in German. Almost everyone will speak English, but the classes will be held in German.

If I were in your situation, I'd finish my degree and take German classes to have at least a basic knowledge. German is - unfortunately - not an easy language to learn, so better start as soon as possible. Then, after you are finished, you could come over and maybe even do a Master (as there are some programs in English, depending on the field) as that would qualify you much better. Europe only recently adopted the Bachelor/Master system, so a Bachelor is sometimes not as valued as a Master's degree.

Also, there would be some student jobs for English speakers (e.g. babysitting, lots of families want to have their children educated in English and are therefore looking for native speakers; also, lots of hotels are looking for clerks with good English skills). But to have a "real" job that pays better, you would have to have good knowledge of German.

To which city would you move? Cost of living is also mostly pretty high in the bigger cities. On the countryside it's cheaper, but fewer to no jobs...

If you have any questions feel free to contact me via PM!

10

How do you say politely, you're out of your mind and need to take a look at reality, not a pie in the sky wishful dream. I don't know what else to call it.

There is a difference between what you want and what you can have. There is also a difference between a long term plan and a short term plan that pretty much guarantees a long term loss. First, it is not likely you can stay in Austria unless you can get a student visa. Second, any meaningless low paid job you might eventually find there will not pay enough to live on and pay your student loans. I believe you already posted on the W. Europe branch but failed to provide the background you have here. My suggestion to you there was you might want work as a non-German speaker, as a cleaning lady.

OK, you have a boyfriend and want to be with him. Everyone can understand that. But what you need to understand is that there is no sensible, practical way to do that right now given your circumstances. So as much as you don't want to hear it, you need to be told. Finish your education, then decide what to do from there.

11

The same way as in the U.S. In other words, it's highly unlikely you would get a job in that field...anywhere.

The economy is bad in both countries. But here in the U.S., your chances are much better for getting that crappy job. Look for crappy jobs near a fracking location and your wages will be higher. (Of course, that has to be balanced against a shortage of housing near fracking locations.)

Then you would be even more helpless and dependent than I thought. You don't seem to be wholeheartedly committed to hopping the pond. If you were, you'd do everything you could to learn German. Even if it meant giving up weekend relaxation for working through language CDs from the public library. When you HAVE to learn something, you can.

Try an alternate tack. Tell boyfriend to get off his rear end and start looking for jobs and/or educational programs in the U.S. A relationship in which you do all the sacrificing is one that's fundamentally out of balance.

12

@nrclibin Yeah i'm pretty much just getting a degree so i can say "i have a degree" i wasn't planning on working in sociology here in the U.S. or anywhere really...but I guess it would look better on paper, however useless the degree might be. and as i said, i took a semester of german at my university...it was basically useless..i'm not scared of sacrificing my "weekend relaxation" since I don't really have any of that anyway b.c.I usually work on weekends, but giving up my weekends, regardless of what i normally do during that time, to study german, seems almost pointless b.c. I had a really hard time learning it like a month ago...and that was with the help of an actual professor and not some rosetta stone cd.
I also told my boyfriend to move here but that scenario poses the same problems as the one I would be in if I moved there. He never went to college and just finished 6 months in the army. He has no real work experience and limited english..the only job i could see him getting here is one at burgerking and he wants to be able to help me pay for stuff and that won't be possible if he's flipping burgers somewhere. At least if I go over there I might be able to get a slightly better job since i've had about 6 years of work experience so far...the only problem is the language barrier for me..but after maybe a year or two there i might have better knowledge of the language and can therefore get a better job.
The housing situation would not be that big of an issue since his parents own an apartment building and would even be willing to get us our own apartment (at least until we can afford it on our own). The problem is me finding a decent job and living there legally. I will be done with my degree in may 2014 (if i decide to finish it) but i just dont know if its worth it to even finish it or not since it will be kind of useless here and in austria. I am wholeheartedly committed to jumping the pond for the relationship.i just went for a month, absolutely loved it and almost didnt catch my flight back..but i had classes to attend. He will be coming here in april and staying until im done with the semester and then we were planning on flying back together so i could spend the summer there.....my idea was to spend the summer there and at the end of august decide if i wanted to stay or not ( i was planning on applying for a residency at the consulate within the next month so that could all be arranged before i even got there).

The other idea I came up with was to spend the summer there and then have him fly back with me at the end of august and stay with me until february 2014. that way we could see what its like to really live with eachother..he would fly back in february to look for work while i stayed in NY and finished my last semester.At the end of that semester, in May, I would move there for good, with my degree and everything and by that time we will have been together 2 years and would get married so i could change my status and all that

@travelinstyle i appreciate your feedback but i didn't post on the w.europe thread and i know this is a pie in the sky wishful dream but so much of my life has been the complete opposite of that and it hasnt always worked out for me..maybe a pie in the sky wishful thinking type of mentality doesn't have to turn out so bad? College isnt necessarily for everyone and after 20 years of being in school im just sick of it all..seeing what the education system has turned into...its a joke and seems like a scam to take all our money...its not like sociology its a thriving or respected field or anything...along with like 50 other fields that schools offers courses in. Only fields that dont have bleak job outlooks are bio/chem/engineering..and i didnt exactly get an A in chem during highschool. why not save myself another 3 semesters of tuition and work at some crappy cafe rather than spend another 15 grand on 3 semesters and still end up with a crappy cafe job?

13

Anyone can self-justify anything. You've been given good feedback by several people in my opinion. Whether you choose to listen or ignore it is up to you.

End of story.

14

He hardly speaks English? This just gets better and better.