pension, long travel and jealous 'friends'
Replies: 37 - Last Post: Apr 17, 2013 2:23 PM Last Post By: Lee52
Dec 8, 2012 10:52 AM
15The bottom line on everything in my life now is simply that I will live every day in the years I have to the absolute fullest and happiest. I am perplexed and sometimes hurt by the reactions of others at times ...but each of us can only live our own lives for ourselves. Life and health are such a gift. It is our responsibility, each of us, to max them out to the fullest. I don't mean that in a self-involved way. We have a responsiblity to the world around us and for each of us that might take a different form but most importantly we have a responsibility to take the gift we've been given and USE it. The worst abuse of the gift of life I could think of would be to sit on the couch and watch Law and Order re-runs ad infinitum.
I am aware that sometimes I get too enthusiastic in my travel tales - all it takes is "So where you been lately?" to get me started on some wonderful experience I've just had. And I realize that maybe this makes people feel like I am showing off. But the thing is, there is no point hiding my enthusiasm to make them, more comfortable. What I hope, instead, is that people feel inspired to push their own boundaries a little more. Becuase in every aspect of my life, that thrill of accomplishment has always come from pushing a boundary - doing something I did not think I could do or did not have the courage to do. Those are the experiences that empower me and fill me with joy. I want that for other people too.
I don't go around talking endlessly about my travel but if you ask ....you are going to hear about the ostrich that laid its eggs at my feet this summer or the surfing community that adopted us on a Californai beach this fall or the motorcycle ride I took through the mountains of Vietnam or ..... My life has been so full of those rich experiences that fill my heart with joy ...well.
But you know, I don't think it would matter all that much what I did or if my travel schedule cut back. Back in the days when I was working full time and could only manage 3 weeks at a time we maxxed those 3 weeks out with wonderful adventures that took us to new places and new experiences each time. And even then, I think it was our enthusiasm that made some envious because I certainly got the comments, "Must be nice to be rich."
This from people who spurned the free office coffee in favour of $4 lattes from Starbucks, ate out everyday, etc. Most of us who've traveled extensively have financed our adventures by living a simpler daily life and finding our travel dollars in the pennies that we save every day from drinking the free office coffee :)
That and traveling in a style that is sometimes more work to organized but is a lot cheaper and more interesting than having a travel agent book us into resort hotels and packaged tours.
But enough ranting. Today the sky is so very blue - a rare occurrence in Vancouver in December. It would be nice to get a good brisk walk in before I start making dinner for some special people who are joining us tonight. I invited them specifically because they have just returned from 3 months self drive in eastern Europe and I can hardly wait to hear all about it and learn everything I can for planning our own venture in that direction in the future.
Dec 8, 2012 1:15 PM
Dec 8, 2012 8:27 PM
17It's really hard not to talk about a trip when I come back but on my first trip I raved about it and got the usual negitive remarks so I've learned over the years to curb that urge to talk about it. But, I'm like living if somebody asks then off I go and I too hope that I encourage people to do the same. I don't think I have. People are stuck in their ways and are afraid to go beyond their boundries if they are home bodies.
I've tried telling strangers about it on the bus hoping that I'd avoid negitive comments from them. So one time after a trip to Europe that we went on for six years I told a stranger on a bus about it. The first thing she asked was "did you work?" I didn't I lived cheap in a van but when I told her that she wasn't impressed.
Travelling is such a joy and it's hard not to share it with others but to them it comes across as obnoxious bragging.
I've lost a lot of friends over the years who can not understand my desire to travel and my family were unhappy because they felt I didn't pay my dues. I still travel but I don't have anything to do with a lot of people from home which caused a great deal of heartache at the time. I agree with people who felt they weren't hurting anybody by doing it.
I don't think it was jelousy for me but so many resented it and maybe felt it wasn't fair. But, I've got to the point where I just don't care about their resentment and I've stopped appoligizing or explaining myself. They don't understand because they don't want to.
Just be happy with what you're doing OP sometimes you might need to leave the ones alone that will never understand. You'll save yourself heartache and spare them feelings of resentment towards you. That's really all you can do sad to say.
Dec 9, 2012 4:33 AM
18This from people who spurned the free office coffee in favour of $4 lattes from Starbucks, ate out everyday, etc. Most of us who've traveled extensively have financed our adventures by living a simpler daily life and finding our travel dollars in the pennies that we save every day from drinking the free office coffee:)
Good one, Living. I knew there was a reason I felt that way.
I think I must have a good set of friends. We all do some traveling, some together, sometimes, and there is very little jealousy.
Dec 10, 2012 10:24 AM
Dec 12, 2012 8:58 AM
20It's not friends or family that look at me daggers because I've been travelling solo since the 1970's, never married, no kids and never had a 'significant other', and enjoy being on my own because they just know me, it's as simple as that.
The most grief I get comes from total strangers who tend to ask me a lot of questions when I'm travelling and don't particularly like the answers I give. eg: What do you do for a living? "I retired at 50" Is your wife travelling with you? "Not married, never was and never will be" Isn't four months a long time to be away from home? "I have a 5th floor apartment in a security complex with no garden and no pets, it's called lock & leave" Don't you hate all that flying? "No, I only fly Business Class" And on it goes, it's like some people are desperate to find even one negative aspect of your life so they can feel better about themselves. "Oh you have a hangnail? There it is!, OMG you're in terrible pain right? Please tell me it's terminal !
Only 3 months ago I was heading off to India for a friends wedding and found myself sitting next to a New Zealand businessman who was married with 5 kids. A couple of things he told me was it's a 'sin' not to get married and I was one of the most selfish people he had ever met.
And I couldn't have cared less because he didn't know me.
Dec 12, 2012 9:07 AM
Dec 12, 2012 4:04 PM
22BP I agree. I hate being asked personal or intrusive questions by people I hardly know. And as `for the businessman with 5 kids, I gave a very interesting reply on this subject to a long-married man from my church, which made him (I hope) think before judging others for life circumstances. (Incidentally, I could quote several passages in the Bible that advise against marriage.)
Dec 14, 2012 5:44 AM
23To say nothing of the fact that many scientists think that overpopulation of this planet is our biggest threat! (FIVE kids???) Go to Bangladesh and have a look---I think you'll agree.
Dec 17, 2012 1:58 PM
24Can relate entirely to Lori's comments. I'm in the same situation. I now don't tell where and when I'm leaving until I HAVE TO. I was invited to an event on Wednesday (I'm leaving to spend Christmas in the Caribbean) and said I wouldn't be here - the common reply "where (sigh) are you off to now". I'm never going to stop travelling 'til I have to!!
Dec 17, 2012 8:32 PM
Dec 17, 2012 11:13 PM
26Final ; at peace now...........dropped 1 of the 'friends' who kept on giving remarks......I have been nasty, as I have made her a calculation me traveling vs she smoking she does and have put it this time on paper as words did not work.......to see the numbers in € looked shocking .......
From now on I will be wiser and just don't tell anymore......your answers has helped me a lot....this is not a personal thing but that is the way things work in general....
happy and safe traveling
Apr 5, 2013 5:26 PM
27To be honest I had never thought that my friends might be jealous. You might get the odd comment you must have pots of money but in the main when we retired and were taking off on a 12 month round the world trip most people said they would love to do what we were doing but wouldn't have the guts at our age.
We are still traveling now at least 3 months of the year and most people are used to it now 6 years later. I'm in the throw of planning another rtw trip for 2014/15 for my 70th birthday I can't see us ever stopping there are so many places to see and life can be short.
I have never been jealous of anyone because I believe you make the best you can out of the time and budget you have, if someone is jealous they need to get a life for themselves and not concern themselves with other peoples lives, it just doesn't make sense.
If your so called friends make nasty comments to you about your traveling I think it's time to say goodbye to them.
Friends are people who are happy for you what ever you do in life.
It is sad when you have to give up a friend especially someone you have known all your life but we sometimes grow away from the people we know it's just part of living and life.
Apr 10, 2013 1:23 AM
28One other little comment that urks me a little is a couple of people I know continually telling me how lucky I am to be able to afford to travel after I retired early, well luck had nothing to do with it, I've never won a thing in my life and have never been the beneficiary of anyone's will.
What I did do was allocate 10% of my salary every fortnight for 35 years to a safe (not ridiculously high interest bearing) superannuation fund that is now providing me with a guaranteed pension for life. I get an indexed increase every 6 months (CPI), and after I turn 60 I wont be paying any tax.
Something I need to explain occasionally to 20+ youngsters who think their taxes are funding my travels.
Apr 10, 2013 5:39 AM
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