Living and working in Dubai/ Abu Dhabi UNmarried
Replies: 26 - Last Post: Oct 13, 2012 8:21 AM Last Post By: aine2dublin
Jun 19, 2012 6:48 PM
So myself and my boyfriend are thinking of making the move for a year to save some money and have a different experience, however there is something that worries me greatly. We live together and have been together many years but we are not married and are not going to get married any time soon. I am a teacher and am getting interviews for jobs which provide me with housing. I am afraid to tell them that I am coming with a partner in case they tell me he can't also live there. Or the other option is to tell the school that I am single and he can just live with me anyway on the sly and they will never know? This is our situation at the moment, and we are very sure about not getting married just for the piece of paper.
Should we just forget about going there and hitting up somewhere more open like Argentina or somewhere in South America ? :)
Cheers for the thoughts
Jun 20, 2012 12:07 AM
1Sorry, but in my opinion this isn't going to work. Loads of unmarried couples DO live here together but no school worth its salt is going to let you do so because it is illegal. How long do you think having him live with you on the sly is going to work? Sometimes teachers' accomm is on site, or a whole building full of teachers from your school. Any repairs etc will probably be done by school maintenance staff. Sneaking your boyfriend in and out every day is really not viable and personally I would say not worth the risk.
So, either you get the bit of paper, or he needs to find a job which provides his own accommodation, then sneaking in and out becomes much less of an issue.
Jun 20, 2012 12:38 AM
2I largely agree with veralynn. It's not practical (or legal) to have your boyfriend living with you permanently in company/school provided accommodation. When you apply for the job, they will ask if you are single or married and allocate accommodation accordingly. Also, many schools prefer teachers to be single as it costs them less.
However, other than getting married or him getting his own place, there may be another option; ask the school if they will give you an accommodation allowance so that you can find your own place. In your own place, it's easier for your boyfriend to live there, although still not legal. In my experience here, co-habitation only works short term and ultimately people get married because it makes life a lot easier.
There is also the issue of visas for your boyfriend and whether he intends to work. If you are married then the visa provided by the school will also entitle your spouse to reside and work in the country. But If he comes to the UAE as your boyfriend, he will be on a tourist visa, meaning he will have to do a visa run every few weeks. The only solution to that is for him to find a job where the employer will provide the residence visa. He also won't be able to rent an apartment or open a bank account without a residence visa.
Frankly, as an unmarried couple not willing to get married, you are better off not coming to the Gulf.
Edited by: dxb1969
Jun 20, 2012 8:40 AM
Jun 20, 2012 10:26 PM
4I work (female) and sponsor my husband. Plenty of my (female, expat) colleagues do the same. It's becoming more normal and acceptable. Raises more eyebrows with the school yummy mummys than the immigration authorities nowadays.
Do a very quiet civil marriage for the paperwork, and a church marriage for the "proper"ness (although presumably you're having sex whilst living together, so I struggle that it is really "proper", but I do understand it would be a big family thing).
Jun 20, 2012 11:24 PM
5A forged marriage certificate is risky and may trip you up - I am fairly sure that the certificate needs to be attested by your embassy and possibly one or two other authorities either during or soon after the residency process. I would not screw the authorities around with fake documents as in this part of the world, they can be very harsh.
Jun 20, 2012 11:24 PM
6LtWharf - working married women CAN sponsor their husbands in the UAE, as long as they meet the minimum salary (which I believe is something paltry like AED4k a month).
Aine, of course marriage is more than a piece of paper, but it's the piece of paper that you need. If you came here with forged paperwork wouldn't it always be in the back of your mind that you could get found out and deported (possibly imprisoned first) at any point?
Jun 21, 2012 12:38 AM
7You all make very fair points and I no know the risk involved.
We feel, way too young to be getting married even if it is just a piece a paper. I think it would go against both of our idea's about marriage. Growing up in catholic Ireland, makes sure about this:)
We also don't mind living in in different houses, its just the issue of money and saving. I have heard that rent is pretty high in Dubai and if we are paying for 2 places it might defeat our purposes of going over there to save in the first place. It make be back to the drawing board........
Jun 21, 2012 12:56 AM
Jun 21, 2012 4:15 AM
9I think it would go against both of our idea's about marriage. Growing up in catholic Ireland, makes sure about this:)
I can understand that, but think of what else goes against your religious background that you do or support in principle. Sex before marriage? Abortion?
Bottom line is that you have to be true to yourselves. Sounds trite, but is a good way to live. If you cannot get a piece of paper to say that you are married because it goes against your beliefs then you have to accommodate that without that piece of paper you are going against the beliefs of where you want to live & work. If you cannot in your hearts accommodate that, then you have to rethink.
Jun 21, 2012 9:09 PM
10Yeah you maybe right, cheers!! Life was so much easier being single!!! Not having to think about someone else ;)
Its not a belief as such. when I mentioned catholic Ireland, it was a criticism of that system more than anything. We are not religious in any sense, in fact I have no desire to get married at all. However our backgrounds, family etc are very rooted in catholic Ireland and we respect our families.
Anyway thanks for all the advice. Could anyone suggest anywhere else they have taught/ worked in their experience that was good for money and lifestyle?? Obviously without such hash laws etc?
Jun 21, 2012 9:42 PM
Jun 22, 2012 6:16 PM
12NO its the same as in Australia and New Zealand, you have to prove that you are in a genuine, commited and loving relationship (which we've had to do many times) but that doesn't involve marriage, and this is the fairest way to do it so as not to discriminate against same-sex couples too.
I understand that different countries have different rules, I just don't agree with them and I have to decide if I want to live in a place and follow such rules/laws.
Anyway its away from the topic a bit. I've gotten lots of advice and I seem to better understand the situation there so thanks :)
If anyone can suggest any other really nice places to live and work, fire away :)
Jun 22, 2012 10:38 PM
Jun 23, 2012 8:39 AM
14stuff it. was going to reply about SEAsia and the ridiculousness of saying Singapore and HK don't have draconian laws, but... stuff it.
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