Letting Go of Your Life...to Travel ... - Thorn Tree travel forum

Letting Go of Your Life...to Travel

Replies: 37 - Last Post: 26-Jul-2007 05:37 Last Post By: GillesFBerg

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Posted
06-Jul-2007 13:52
by: dame4net2

Posts: 4
Registered: 06/07/07

Letting Go of Your Life...to Travel

Do you find yourself pulled between two polar opposites....living the life you know and that society has trained you to go after vs. letting go and traveling the world? I sit here in my office with a nice job that pays in the six figures, luxury car, home fully furnished, etc. and feel the pull of what if I could just let go of all these things, be free and travel the world. But for some reason...its seems so hard to let go of these 'things'! There is something super scary about it. Does anyone else feel this dichotomy? I ask myself, do these things and money really make a person happy? The answer I find is...sometimes, but definitely not all the time. And you picture the person who works at the nearby ski slope in the winter and gives lessons or works as a chairlift operator and then in the summer they travel and surf. They don't have much, maybe not even a car, little money, but they seem to have so many more experiences and fun. They have less to worry about. And you think to yourself...what if? And then I wonder..if I quit the job and pack up shop, what would I do when I come back. Will I land on my two feet again? Or will I even want to come back to the life I used to have? Ugh...I'm struggling and reaching out. Welcome all feedback, thoughts, experiences, and perspectives.

Damon

Posted
06-Jul-2007 14:10
by: rorygemwriter

Posts: 1,032
Registered: 15/12/03

1

How about living more simply and starting to build up wealth so you don't have to work and can travel? How about investing money so that you can live on the interest.

Grey is the colour of theory; green the colour of the tree of life.

Posted
06-Jul-2007 15:16
by: Eskil

Posts: 164
Registered: 26/06/01

2

If you have a six figure income (asume you have important experience or skills valuable to employers) i guess finding decent work when you return shouldn't be that hard. If you use your money to by things, you will always be poor no matter how much you earn. Things will never make you happy in the long run, and you will not miss them if you sell them, not like you will miss something "real" in your life if it is taken away from you. Things have a very low emotional value.

If you aren't happy with your life you should do an effort to change it, a human life is too short to go around and be miserable.

Posted
06-Jul-2007 21:58
by: cat1121

Posts: 76
Registered: 29/05/07

3

I've been struggling with this myself. What I hear in your statement is that you are afraid you will change and not want what you used to want, and I'm kind of in the same space right now.
I'm really clear that I want to travel. I also find it ironic that I'm sorting my stuff and getting rid of all these useless material possesions that I "had to have" and that I'm in debt over, and now I'm donating them or tossing them so that I don't have to pay to store them...and yet I'm thinking about what I want in my fund when I return home, and part of the designation is that so I can buy more "stuff" (new, better mattress, a different couch, etc). I haven't yet figured out the "ah-ha" in that...all I know is its just what it is for me right now.

There is a part of me that is afraid I will change and I won't fit in with the people I hold near and dear now...that I won't ever settle down and have kids, stability, etc. I think the only thing you can do is look at if that is worth not travelling for. Its not right or wrong if it is...it just is. And its okay to feel uncertain about it, even if you're taking the steps to travel.

Another thing to think about....what do you want your story to be out? The "things"? The trip? A few years ago I was in an accident and I came pretty close to dying...I've gotten really clear that I'm going to live like there might not be a retirement to travel in, etc, and that I'm really in charge of making my life something I'm passionate about now.

Good luck with your decision.

“And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”
-Abraham Lincoln

Posted
07-Jul-2007 01:49
by: laurenohoui

Posts: 28
Registered: 01/07/02

4

There is always something to stop you from traveling,and of course you will miss a lot of events,in your city,in your family.I am just coming back from a 15 month trip around the world,I wanted to do it for a long long time,and decided to go only 2 months before departure.I enjoyed every minute of it,I am also happy to be back now to my earlier life,that I found exactly as I left it.People around me look like they are exactly the same,but I have now something more in me,I am proud of what I accomplished,and I shall certainly do it again...in a few years.
There is something worse in life than not to succeed,it is not to try to,as said Oscar Wilde.

Posted
07-Jul-2007 04:05
by: dick_dangerous

Posts: 516
Registered: 09/04/04

5

Hey, I nearly didn't go travelling last year because it would have meant missing series two of Lost and Doctor Who. But then I relaised I could buy a bunch of videos and get my Mum to tape them for me - see there's always a solution to life's great dilemmas, and at least I had something to do when I got back!

DD

The Cappuccino Backpacker

Posted
07-Jul-2007 06:10
by: richebee

Posts: 23
Registered: 21/06/07

6

I have been in a very similar predicament for 3 years - should I ?Shouldn't I ? I have had the house, car, can buy what I want and have been very comfortable. Yet I have still had this massive niggle - material things are not important, friends and family are - but they will still be there in 1 years, 2 years time. What made the difference for me was before my grandma passed away she would sit in her armchair and talk - she was proud of her family and children and grandchildren - but she would talk also of her time in the army, of living in France, Canada and Ireland, of Skiing, singing, of travelling to new places, experiencing new cultures, she had fantastic memories which still made her laugh and smile and I would sit for hours listening to her tales from around the world, she couldnt walk to the end of the street but she had this twinkle in her eye and an enthusiasm for what she had done in her life. In the last couple of months when I have been leaving my job, selling my car and clearing out the house for renting, I have had my doubts about what I am doing ... then I picture myself in my armchair when I'm eighty and I know I am doing the right thing ... role on sept 26th !

Posted
07-Jul-2007 07:08
by: femaletraveller

Posts: 323
Registered: 13/03/01

7

I am going through a similar thing. I went through a long period of thinking that although I had some of the things that I was brought up to believe that you must have - education, reasonably well paying job, nice (rented) place to live etc. it wasn't doing anything for me and I just felt like I had got it so wrong.

My life long dream is to travel. I read travel books, watch travel related programes, browse travel related sites, dream of travel sometimes.... So, after a very difficult decision I am going for that dream next year. It is a big risk - the fear of not having anything to come to was a great one. I am single and don't have someoen elses support to fall back on.

But, since graduating five years ago I feel that I lost so much of who I am, and in my job I feel constantly under pressure to be a person I am not. Despite being broke constantly at college, I had great fun and thrived in an academic environment that really encouraged people to pursue their own interests. Since leaving, I have found part time Spanish classes really good fun, providing a much needed sense of challenge and eventually personal achievement, and something that allows for constant development.

So, I am going for it. At the end of this month, I am moving into shared accommodation again. This will cut my living costs by at least half, allowing me to save more money. In September, I am beginning Italian lessons. I am continuing Spanish of course. Another major part of preparing to travel is to increase my fitness as much of what I want to do needs it!

I am terrified of what will happen on my return, but now I have reached the point of being willing to just go with it. I am ready to just let some inspiration of what to do next come to me. Perhaps I will ifnd something else in the process.

Go for it. You get one life. When your older, your not going to wish you spent more time at work. Go and discover the world. See some beautiful places. Meet different people to you. Do some stuff that you cannot easily do at home. Stretch yourself. Your not at home, so its a good time to try out different things and allow yourself to be challenged. Pursue your interests across the world. You will benefit from the experience no matter what happens if you allow yourself to, and have an open mind and be willing to learn and take things in.

Lots of travel links, for accommodation, independent travel, UK, Newcastle and other categories - http://www.geocities.com/milliebell/links.htm

Posted
07-Jul-2007 10:28
by: g60man

Posts: 25
Registered: 06/10/06

8

I am only 21 but since I was 17 every summer for 3 months I have traveled. When I was 17, my first summer of traveling, I went around the US and Canada. After graduating high school I did a part of Europe. The next summer I went to Central America. Last Summer I went to West Africa. This summer I am back in Europe mostly the Balkans Greece and Turkey. Next Summer is Eastern Europe Russia Mongolia and small piece of China. I do go to school but I limit myself ALOT but I am so happy for this decision. I am currently working on a couple of degrees that should allow me to travel and live abroad. I think everyone should travel. If you have a six figure job my recommendations are start trying to sell the house car and all other expensive items (when I mean expensive think about when you made 30k or less a year and what was expensive to you) and get a cheap old car pay cash for it get the cheapest apartment your willing to move into. Make life simple eat cheap small meals. plan on going out maybe once every couple of months and after one year you should have enough to just go. I am just glad that you are realizing that you need to travel.

Posted
07-Jul-2007 13:43
by: baldursgate

Posts: 41
Registered: 09/10/03

9

Do I find myself pulled between two polar opposites? ALL THE TIME, man! ALL THE TIME!

What makes it even harder is that none of the people around me understands it. So it's hard to communicate how I feel. This is one of the few sites I seek my refuge. And it's nice to hear other people's similar stories.

God bless the Internet!!!!

Posted
07-Jul-2007 16:44
by: Gardyloo

Posts: 504
Registered: 01/02/02

10

Baby steps.

Get a month or two leave of absence from your job, buy a ticket to someplace where you'll be something of a fish out of water, and see how you do. If you start missing the comforts of home and possessions, that's a good data point. If you're reluctant to come home at the end, another good data point. Then re-plan and reposition yourself accordingly, with greater self-knowledge.

In lengthy travels, ranging from sabbaticals to years living overseas, what we've found is that it's the people you miss much more than the stuff. Yes, you make new friends, and that's a good thing, but there's a gravitational pull to family and friends that appears sooner or later. People have different sensitivities to that pull, so experiment.

Almost nothing is undoable, and nothing is forever. There are millions of jobs in the world and nearly everybody has one. People change careers, houses, passports... and do not become space aliens in the process. You will survive. Whether you'll flourish, well, that's something for you to discover about yourself.

Posted
07-Jul-2007 18:05
by: xlendi

Posts: 3
Registered: 13/01/05

11

I understand your predicament well. I was there myself a few years ago, and I did it. Packed up my life as it was, quit the great NYC job and took off with my husband for 9 months RTW. It was the best thing I ever did. When I came back, the only thing that changed at home was me. I had multiple job opportunities but turned them all down. I live a much simpler life. Living out of a backpack teaches you that all those things you think you need are really just things you want. When you return from travelling you forget why you ever wanted those things. We did "settle in" and now have kids, but that huge beautiful house & nice car we could afford if I worked full time is non existent. I stay home with my kids and we hope to move abroad in the near future to teach the little ones what it means to be citizens of the world. Had I not traveled, I would surely be living the consumer lifestyle everyone around me is caught up in. Someone talked about fear of feeling alienated from your current life. I wont lie, you do feel a bit like that after such an experience, but in the same vain - I have opened up my cirlcle of friends to include new people who are more like the new me (I am still very close with the old friends too).

Hope this helps.

There is a great documentary called "A Map For Saturday" where a guy from NYC with a great job gives it all up and travels RTW. He talks very candidly about what happens on such a journey. It's probably the best and most honest film I've ever seen about RTW travel. I recommend it.

Posted
07-Jul-2007 18:50
by: chia08

Posts: 3
Registered: 02/07/07

12

Now this is a good thread.....interesting to see everyone's take on the "why" we do what we do and feel what we feel.
For me it is about being happy. Anyone that knows me will tell you that I am not the most optimistic person but I have a way of making my pessimism humorous. I worked at a job I hated for three years then moved to a new job for the past three years that I can stand slightly more. I bought a house and am doing pretty well but I am not happy. I feel like no matter what I do it is just spinning my wheels waiting for something....time to stop waiting
A few months back I decided to throw caution to the wind and get outta dodge! I am selling most of my possessions which thus far hasn't been nearly as terrifying as I thought. Once I started to go through all my things and realize the crap I spent my money on I became disgusted that I, like most Americans that I know, was born and raised to be a consumer. Soon enough I will sell my house using the money to pay off all my debt, put aside some for when I return and use the rest to travel.
I am lucky that I got into my house for the low cost I did and should be able to turn enough of a profit to travel for a year or more. I am planning to get out of here early to middle of next year and I find myself nervously excited and finally having something besides a one week vacation to look forward to.

**Dame4Net2 as most of the posters here have already said its about what makes you happy, if you are not happy then change something, try taking a longer than the standard vacation and see what happens. I have read a ton of posts, blogs, articles and the like and NOT ONCE have I read that someone regretted taking time off to relax, travel or sort things out.
Femaletraveller made an awesome point by saying "Go for it. You get one life. When your older, your not going to wish you spent more time at work."

Posted
08-Jul-2007 03:40
by: jeaniej

Posts: 203
Registered: 11/10/04

13

What are you waiting for? Get out there! ;-)

Best wishes..

Posted
08-Jul-2007 19:20
by: Nats05

Posts: 42
Registered: 07/09/05

14

I would love nothing more than to leave my current life and travel but like many of you on this thread, it is unfortunately not so easy. What worries me most about stepping out of the work treadmill, is the getting back on it. At 36 and female, single and childless will employers want to employ me at 40? I have a successful career but in my field of work that is not easily translatable. I would hate to give up what I have, accept the pull of long term travel only to come back with no real job prospects. For now I'll keep travelling a few weeks here and a few weeks there but I would love nothing more than to get over this quandry and make travel my job.

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