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pension, long travel and jealous 'friends'

Replies: 37 - Last Post: Apr 17, 2013 2:23 PM Last Post By: Lee52

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jallegondam

jallegondam avatar

Dec 5, 2012 8:38 AM
Posts:  66

pension, long travel and jealous 'friends'

Last year while on the road, I met some people who had the same thing going on, people back home being SO jealous.
Just wonder as this year it is happening again...as we oldies, I am women 64, still strong and so exploring the world , are putting up with all kind of nasty remarks as well.........

I still kind of explaining people that I do live a budget life (true as traveling is my love and passion) the whole year, in order to make a low budget but O SO WONDERFUL trip of 3 months !!!! I have to be honest it does hurt me and upset me, how about you ?? Experience the same ??? If so what can I do about it, it has been spoiling my last few days.........and I am not hurting anyone, just want to be a traveler and not a sofa-sitter.......guess that is upsetting them, my FRIENDS ???????

Any sample situations will help me to laugh about it.....

wigstan

wigstan avatar

Dec 5, 2012 8:52 AM
Posts:  321

1

Most people think we are barking mad. If anyone is jealous they don't show it. Have to say though we do play down our trips. I travel with my husband and I'm happy enough to share the experience just with him and tend not to talk about travelling with others.

rorygemwriter

rorygemwriter avatar

Dec 5, 2012 9:45 AM
Posts:  3,044

2

I have a degree of respect from my friends. I am doing what I want to do. They say they don't understand but that they know it is important to me. Also they generally don't want to hear too much about it and that's fine as well.

gawkabout

gawkabout avatar

Dec 5, 2012 10:59 AM
Posts:  4,368

3

The only two who said,"You just live in Europe, because
you think you're better than anybody else," were drunken trash.

One died in middlev age. I don't think he ever lived away from his mother.

The other one was a Marine in Seville. 2003. A real bully. Did it every three months, when he returned. "you don't belong here! I hate people who don't live in their own country!"

I'd just ask, "Where are you now? Did you get draughted?'

marichel1981

marichel1981 avatar

Dec 5, 2012 2:16 PM
Posts:  285

4

Most people are happy in their suburban coccoon, especially women, and married couples. I think of people from the Netherlands as being a lot more adventurous then from my neck of the beach. I'm surprised that you say they are JEALOUS, and jealous is a lot better then looking down their nose at your lifestyle... why would they not do the same..unless of course they just can't afford it, or they don't want to budget tio make it happen.

Fieldgate

Fieldgate avatar

Dec 5, 2012 4:15 PM
Posts:  2,776

5

I earn usually due respect from my friends for the way I travel. They ask me "so, where've you travelled lately". I tell them but don't bore them with too many details.
They're never nasty and not envious either. They prefer their organised trips. ...but, I don't know anyone who doesn't travel at all. Maybe it's different among Europeans.

Edited by: Fieldgate: Oh just remembered, my two cousins (2 brothers) never travelled, but they've always been a little bit odd

living

living avatar

Dec 5, 2012 4:48 PM
Posts:  314

6

What I keep running up against is people (and by this I include family) think because we travel a lot we are rich and they often make snarky remarks to this effect. I point out that what we spend on a 2 month trip is often less than what they spend on a 2-week resort vacation ...but I don't think they believe me.

Lately I also seem to be coming up against the sentiment that what we are doing is somehow unseemly ...that we should be content to age in place and spend the rest of our lives puttering around the homestead, babysitting the grandkids, being "available" as needed. It seems to be inconvenient, somehow, that we are in the middle of a game park in Namibia when someone decides they need us for five minutes ... and then they can ignore us for weeks again.

Oh ...just getting old and grumpy I guess. But life seems so much simpler on the road :) We come home and we are instantly thrown into the midst of dramas we want no part of.

kalki

kalki avatar

Dec 5, 2012 10:08 PM
Posts:  148

7

Husband and I are in our mid 60's travel overseas a couple of months each year. Friends and family are all quite used to our wandering ways - we did our first longish trip in the mid 70's. People we know are always interested in our travels and adventures particularly given our predilection for remote places, trekking, kayaking etc. When we get back it tends to be a series of people asking what the latest adventure was or ... people asking for ideas on where they should go. With the latter I've just given somebody info on walking in Morocco's Atlas mountains and desert.

redwhitewine

redwhitewine avatar

Dec 6, 2012 2:04 AM
Posts:  8,581

8

and we give such people 'oxygen' because?

Lor

Lor avatar

Dec 6, 2012 5:51 AM
Posts:  120

9

I agree. I live in a condo building with 53 units, for people over 55 years old. I'm 77 and still travel about five months per year. I have a 'reputation' in this building, even though I don't know many people very well. For some, it's a positive reputation and they say admiring things about my traveling. Others seem very negative about it, which I think is because they are jealous, as their lives seem to be very lacking. (It feels like the kid-thing----"she thinks herself so smart!") They rarely seem to go anywhere or have company or cook anything, for example. I just ignore the negative.

Lee52

Lee52 avatar

Dec 6, 2012 10:16 PM
Posts:  164

10

My ambition is to keep travelling until I can't manage it anymore due to poor physical condition or health issue.

Most people are happy to hear about my travel, mainly because I only share with them where I am travelling and for how long. Someone asked if I save to travel and I said "yes" to keep it simple. Sometimes, I think the less shared, the better it is. Not that it worries me what other people think or rather, I try not to let it worry me. Nobody's business but my own.

Lee52

Satchie

Satchie avatar

Dec 7, 2012 9:36 AM
Posts:  541

11

I don't want to set myself up as some sort of great person that everyone should admire and copy, so I definitely don't brag or try to impress other people with stories about my trips. I learned that very early on as the younger sister, older 'sis didn't welcome any competition to her position as star of the family. But now she's stuck in that role, still doing the old kabuki dance trying to get applause, I'm free to just do what I enjoy and never mind what other's think.

I try to be positive and happy for other people's happiness, not begrudge them and my definition of 'friend' is someone who is equally supportive and happy for the good things that happen to me. Sadly, as a result I've had to distance myself from a lot of people in my life because they can't do it.

jallegondam

jallegondam avatar

Dec 7, 2012 9:52 PM
Posts:  66

12

Thank you all for this .......seems like it is better not to show even a bit of happiness, this is the next step........I already didn't talk about my adventures or have been showing pictures afterwards....better to keep ALL to myself.....just tell them I will be away for 3 months, so they don't ring the bell of my front door !!! Other people are living in my home then...I am not in a situation were I just can close the door and travel, I take that risk, I never know how it will work- out..

And perhaps I have to get away from some of them, I see now that it is a 'common' thing.....so not take it too personal...which I did really..... .
I also will travel till I will be to exhausted for it or don't know my bank code anymore......
Thank you again and safe and happy travels.........

gawkabout

gawkabout avatar

Dec 8, 2012 12:51 AM
Posts:  4,368

13

Its some of the best therapy I can think of. After the first trip, you feel more confident. You grow by listening,
to people from other cultures.

A kid in a hostel told me Jesus Christ was his king. I said he's mine too. Half a dozen times, He saved my life, when there was no logical reason I'm still here. Then I told him all religeons are basicly the same story. Iproceeded to to enlighten on facts about his dogma.

The kid was quiet but I'm sure he was shocked.
Bible bashing meets the dreaded Secular Humanism. Nobody thinks they're naĆ­ve.

Ahhh hostels. We travel to learn, and partially more about ourselves.

jomcarroll

jomcarroll avatar

Dec 8, 2012 2:08 AM
Posts:  122

14

I know exactly what this is like - the undercurrent of 'It's all right for some, who can so swanning around, don't have to worry about ...' I've lost touch with 'friends' who could never get over the fact that this is my life choice, just as their decisions to stay at home are theirs. With others, I've been as interested in their lives as possible - admired photos of grandchildren, attended events, joined in charitable stuff, and eventually we've got the point of respecting each other's decisions. But it's been a long haul - and there have been time when I've felt I was the one doing all the work. But it has been worth it - they cheer me on from the sidelines now, waving me off from the airport and settling back to listen to tales when I get home.
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