Struggling to adjust to being home
Replies: 7 - Last Post: Aug 26, 2012 8:10 AM Last Post By: mike_travel_too
Aug 19, 2012 5:57 AM
Struggling to adjust to being homeHi All,
I am hoping to get some advice from returning travellers as i am really really struggling with coming home.
I have spent the last 3 years in Asia and Australia and i returned home 4 months ago. I still have not settled in at all and it seems to be getting worst.
I left England because i actually hated my life. I had a good but boring job with no prospects and life was just the same thing everyday and the weekend would be spent getting drunk in clubs and Sunday in bed spending all my money on clothes and trying to look good!!
I come from a small town people do not seem to leave it, When i left work i had very few positive comments from friends they all thought i would be back in 2 months. My family were great and i love being home with them.
I just feel like i don't fit in any more i don't have much to talk about with friends so now i avoid going out and i feel lonely but yet its self inflicted. Snide comments have been made about me leaving and coming back which i presume is jealousy it just seems strange, i have not boasted about what i have done at all because i know people get bored by others travel stories! I miss Australia more then anything in the world i have to avoid anything on tv with oz in it because I literally start welling up ( sad i know).
I know this sounds a little like self pity but i didn't like my life before i left now i cant stand it even more. I was so happy only 6 months ago now i try not to cry everyday! I tried hobbies, learning Spanish, taking up photography yet nothing works!
Jobs are almost non exist in this town, i was earning great money in oz now its gone and i will be back to earning 6 quid an hour with no chance to save to start travelling again. I have used my two years in oz so cant go out with a grand like i did last time knowing i would get work.
I'm doing everything i can to get back into Australia and i will be re training this Sept, but it could be 5 years or more till im back. I really don't know how i will cope for that long here.
Any advice to get out of this hole would be appreciated.
Aug 19, 2012 1:19 PM
1I cant really advise from point of view of returning from a RTW trip, but I can emphathise with feeling like its going to be a long time before you can escape your current circumstances. The important thing is to have a dream/plan and keep that alive, even if its only saving a few pounds a week towards it. So that you feel your current circumstances are only temporary and will end at some point and you have something to look forward to.
The other thing to do is look around at your circumstances as they are now and instead of despairing at them, see what you can do to change them. Can you find work elsewhere for example? Can you move some place else and take up work there? Have you got any friends that live elsewhere that can help put you up while you find your feet? will retraining in September open up any doors/avenues for you that are not apparent now?
One thing I have learnt over the years is that if you want something in your life to change, you are better off going out and making it happen for yourself rather than sitting around hoping something will fall out of the sky into your lap. If you are capable of travelling the world, you are more than capable of making some changes for the positive in your life.....just believe in yourself, try and keep positive, keep your dreams alive, work out what it is you want and look at ways you can make it happen.
Good Luck! :-)
Aug 20, 2012 1:02 AM
2Yup it sucks.
Get a WHV for NZ if you are hankering for a slice of downunder.
Otherwise check out the British Expats website, lots of advice regarding emigrating or scoring a work permit.
Aug 20, 2012 5:10 AM
3Small towns are great if you fit in, hell if you don't.
And small or not, I'm sure you've heard the saying 'You Can't go home again'.
Trite, perhaps, but true.
If it will be quite a while before you get to hit the road - be it as a traveler or as an emigre - occupying yourself with fruitful tasks/hobbies in the meanwhile is the way to go.
Learning a language, picking up a musical instrument and/or sport would be some of the activities I'd suggest for taking your mind off of 'I'm stuck here'........
Aug 21, 2012 12:47 PM
I was away for several years, all my friends kept in touch and said things like 'wish we could do it' and so on. I think there was one slightly negative comment about not having a real job (I worked half the time at a job I loved) but nothing serious. Can't believe what you are getting.
sounds like you have nothing to leave behind so change towns to somewhere with more work. Not necessarily London.
Aug 21, 2012 7:48 PM
Aug 25, 2012 3:56 AM
6very good topic one that dosen't come up as much as it should. re-entry is something everyone must realize will be an enevitable part of your RTW degrees of it vary with how long you have been gone ect. some people are not affected as much as others as they may have jobs to return to.
I feel your pain
now go see the rasta maan
Aug 26, 2012 8:10 AM
7I think you've found a lifestyle that you relate to and you need to be in it to get your life back. I say get any old job so you can start saving money. One that you can happily walk away from when your next opportunity presents itself, which it will. In the mean time find a job that requires you to travel and start applying. Work on cruise ships or consider being a flight attendant. Or do WHV New Zealand or Canada.
There are opportunities out there. Good Luck!
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