pick up lines

30

Don't know how that happened. Hit return and it posted.

Anyways, last year I jammed my finger on a couch cushion while taking a nap. I got something called mallet finger, where I couldn't straighten my finger from that position. The doctor sent me to the hand therapist, who was this cute brunette who laughed at my jokes. As she was holding my hand in hers, with my middle finger pointed straight in the air, as she tried to position a splint, she asked me how I hurt my finger. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I hurt it while taking a nap. So I told her that I hurt it when I was passing an orphanage. She said "what"? I said "No, I'm too embarrassed, it was nothing really." She said "come on, tell me how you hurt your finger". After protesting just a bit more, I went on to tell her The Story.

i was walking past an orphanage in my town. The orphanage was on fire. There were some kids screaming from the 10th floor window. There was a crowd of people standing around saying "they're just orphans, no one will miss them, why take the risk of a daring rescue?" That was all I needed to hear. I went bolting into the flames, up 10 flights of stairs. I scooped up all four of the crying kids and went tumbling down the stairs. We were all coughing and couldn't see because of the smoke. The building was collapsing all around us. Just as we were about to leave the building, one of the kids with his last breath began screaming and pointing to a small wicker basket in the corner by the front door. I squinted through the smoke at the basket. It seemed to be moving slightly. I bent down with all the kids and lifted the lid. There was a litter of kittens in there. They were the children's pets, all they had in this world. So, I extended my last free FINGER forward, hooked it into the basket and carried it out along with the kids to the cheering crowd. They carried me on their shoulders to the town hall and the mayor gave me a big set of keys representing the keys to the city. There was a parade for me the next Saturday and they are thinking of putting a statue of me up in front of the town hall. That's what I told her.

31

Boink, I told everyone about how I injured my knee while saving a poor blind orphan who had been swept out to sea, but no one believed me. How did you manage to keep your face straight?

nycfellow: "Scrubb is clearly the voice of authority"

32

Boink -- Your delivery must have been Oscar-worthy, because that is perhaps the most patently ridiculous tale I may have ever heard. The denouement where you are given the keys to the city and have a statue erected are where it falls apart. And, I would have opted for puppies over kittens.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." -- Albert Einstein

33

I have memorized the story word by word. I will let you know.

34

To her credit, she was on to me as soon as she heard "orphanage" and "fire". But she listened politely and suppressed a laugh the whole way. And yes, it was hard to keep a straight face. Change "keys to the city" to "mayor shook my hand" next time I sprain my finger.

35

I was going to contribute sensibly to this until I read Boink's story. It's not often I literally laugh out loud at things I read, but I did then.

Everything in moderation, even moderation.

36

You could tone it down a bit from the rescuing orphans story. How about "accidentally" dropping a photo of a cute, underpriveledged Guatemalan girl from your wallet. When she notices it, say "Oh that's just my daughter. Well she's not really my daughter, but I sponser her as a foster parent. She writes me letters that bring tears to my eyes."
If this doesn't help, throw in something like, "I don't think I should be alone tonight."

Lieber eine Stumme im Bett als eine Taube auf dem Dach.

37

The best pick up line is the one you manage to come up with in the presence of a heart throbbing beauty. Managing not to be a dork, or a jackass, is half the battle. If she is blonde, then at least you can pull the wool over eyes, brunettes give the best fight, then redheads, redheads are nuts, but never met a redhead I did not like :)

I rarely hit the bars anymore, but in NYC last week, I was out with all the girls in the office, some use to be my interns, and they mid 20's, I was amazed how picky they were, and they all came from different areas of the USA. My assistant stunned me with a personal question about how all girls in the office thought I was only into Cougars.

Me, of all people!!!!

We got smashed, haha

*Get a Guidebook & Get Lost* See pictures of Thailand, Burma, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Italy, France, Morocco and USA National Parks, click on SOLOHOBO Profile.