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Up the Creek
Bizarrely enough, the hecklers can be funnier than the acts at this great club. Up the Creek was established and is still living in the spirit of the sorely missed (and indeed legendary) Malcolm Hardee, who died in 2005. Hardee, who was the patron sinner of British comedy, famously stole Freddie Mercury's 40th birthday cake and donated it to his local old folks home. Mischief, rowdiness and excellent comedy are the norm.
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Vauxhall Tavern
Rough around the edges to say the least, the Vauxhall Tavern is the perfect antidote to the gleaming new wave of gay venues now crowding Vauxhall's gay village. Friday's Le Phreeque and Saturday's Duckie, a wonderful indie performance night hosted by Amy Lamé, are rightly considered to be two of the best club nights in London.
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Vertigo 42
The stratospheric views from this 42nd-storey champagne bar are matched by the prices - the cheapest bottle of champers is around £44 - and for security reasons you must book ahead and go through airport-like security checks. Seats are arranged around the glass-walled circular space, where you quaff champagne while taking in an unforgettable 360° view; evenings are the better time to visit, when you can watch the lights come on across London.
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Vibe Bar
Once the epicentre of the Hoxton scene, the Vibe is part bar, part club and still attracts a regular crowd, although it's safe to say that its time has long passed. On quieter nights drinkers can still enjoy themselves in the spacious bar, which has scuffed leather sofas, arcade games and computer terminals.
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Viva Cake Bitches
An evening with the self-declared Viva Cake Bitches usually kicks off in the late afternoon with tea, cake and sandwiches served by girls on rollerskates. Other diversions include dominos, knitting, baking and, if plans come off, a beauty bar, before the evening steps it up a gear with classic rock 'n' roll bands and jive-dancing. Remember to raid the dressing-up box for some vintage wear before you turn up.
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Warrington Hotel
This former hotel and brothel is now an ornate Art Nouveau pub with heaps of character and an atmosphere so laid-back it's virtually horizontal. The huge saloon bar, dominated by a marble-topped hemispherical counter with a carved mahogany base, is a fabulous place to sample a range of real ales. There's outdoor seating and a good Thai restaurant upstairs.
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Westbourne
The Westbourne has a largish outdoor area, although inside it's more cramped and there is a little more attitude. As you'd expect, the crowd is beautiful and trust-fund fuelled.
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White Cross
The riverside location, good food and fine ales make this pub on the site of a former monastery a winner. There are entrances for low and high tides, but when the river is at its highest, Cholmondeley Walk running along the Thames floods and the pub is out of bounds to those not willing to paddle (wade).
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White Horse
This mixed bag of a pub/bar/club might appear to house some people for the entire weekend. It consists of just one big room decorated with modern art against one long bar, but it's lots of fun. We usually play pool here.
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White House
Attracting Clapham's beautiful people with its stylish low-lit interior - all tan sofas, small square tables, expansive bar and polished wooden floors - this recently renovated chic bar on three floors also boasts a decent restaurant serving dim sum and a fantastic roof terrace in summer.
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White Swan
The White Swan is a fun East End kind of place, with a large dance floor as well as a more relaxed pub area. Its legendary amateur strip night has sadly disappeared, but there's still plenty of flesh on stage on Saturdays. Club classics and cheesy pop predominate.
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Windows Of The World Bar
This swish bar is a popular place for observing London from a great height: the 28th floor of the Hilton Hotel. You might think it resembles something out of Miami Vice, with its '80s-style armchairs, suave and extortionately priced (around £20 ) cocktails and live entertainer who pretends to be playing his guitar (he has a prerecorded track, really). Non-hotel guests arriving after will have to pay a £7.50 cover charge.
The views of the city are breathtaking, particularly at dusk.
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Windsor Castle
A wonderful, relatively out-of-the-way tavern between Notting Hill and Kensington High St, this place has history, warmth and charm on tap. It's worth the search for the roaring winter fireplace, great beer garden, historic interior and friendly regulars.
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Wine Wharf
Located in a smart warehouse space close to the culinary joys of Borough Market, this wine bar's selection will delight oenophiles as well as people just coming along for a drink. The range is truly enormous, and the staff are more than happy to advise, offering you the chance to taste before buying.
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Wrestlers
Another great, great local where the ambience, beer, food and décor just combine to make you happy to be alive, although when the very friendly Irish governor gets chatting you can begin to have second thoughts.
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Yard Bar
This old Soho favourite attracts a cross-section of the great and the good. It's a pretty attitude-free place, perfect for preclub drinks or just an evening out. There are DJs upstairs most nights in the cool loft area as well as the eponymous courtyard downstairs.
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Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese
The entrance to this historic pub is via a picturesque alley just down from Dr Johnson's House (he drank here, as did Thackeray, Dickens and the visiting Mark Twain). Cross the threshold and you'll find yourself in a wood-panelled interior (the oldest bit dates from just after the Great Fire of 1666) with sawdust on the floor and divided up into various bars and three restaurants.
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Ye Olde Mitre
A delightfully cosy historic pub tucked away in a backstreet off Hatton Garden, Ye Olde Mitre was built for the servants of Ely Palace. There's still a memento of Elizabeth I, in the shape of the stump of a cherry tree around which she once danced. There's no music, so the snug rooms only echo to the sound of amiable chitchat.
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Ye White Hart
This riverside Young's pub in Barnes has a lovely terrace that is somewhat marred by the busy road outside. Housed in a one-time Masonic lodge, the place is huge but if you've been to a Young's pub before, you will know exactly what the interior looks like: swirly carpets, fruit machines, and an old man supping a pint at the bar.
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