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Headliners
The first purpose-built venue in west London, and younger sibling to Ha Bloody Ha, Headliners is comfortable and has a traditional shape in that the compere introduces the act and scarpers, try-outs open the night, and the best is saved until last.
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Heaven
This long-standing and perennially popular gay club, under the arches beneath Charing Cross station, has always been host to good club nights, but its big draws today are its three long-established nights: Saturday is still the flagship night for gay clubbers who like very commercial house music, while Monday is the cheap and cheerful student-oriented Popcorn, possibly gay London's best-value night out. Wednesday is cheeky Fruit Machine.
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Hoist
One of Europe's most famous fetish clubs, the Hoist is a one-stop shop for guys into leather and uniforms. The dress code is very strict - everyone has to wear boots, and either rubber, leather or uniform. Check out the array of fetish nights on the website.
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Hollybush
A beautiful pub that makes you envy the privileged residents of Hampstead, Hollybush has an antique Victorian interior, a lovely secluded hilltop location, open fires in winter and a knack for making you stay longer than you had intended at any time of the year. Set above Heath St, it's reached via the Holly Bush Steps.
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Jamaica Wine House
Not a wine bar at all but an historic Victorian pub, the 'Jam Pot' stands on the site of what was the first coffee house in London (1652); such places were often just fronts for brothels. At the end of a narrow alley, this is a difficult place to find.
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Jerusalem Tavern
This has to be London's most beautiful pub. It was one of the first London coffee houses (founded in 1703), with the 18th-century décor of occasional tile mosaics still visible. It's teeny, so come before the nine to fivers do and get a seat. There's good lunch food and a brilliant range of drinks: organic bitters, cream stouts, wheat and, mmm, fruit beers, many of which are dispensed in green, apothecary-like bottles.
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Joiners Arms
Determinedly run-down and cheesy, the Joiners is Hoxton's only totally gay pub-club (perhaps reflecting the degree to which such distinctions are blurred around E2). It's a crowded, funky old boozer where hip gay boys hang out at the bar, dance and watch people play pool all night.
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Jolly Gardeners
Our favourite pub in Putney, the JG has been lovingly and eclectically kitted out; you'd never guess that Victorian oak cabinets went quite so well with Art Deco lamps. The pub plays host to amiable 30-somethings and boasts excellent wine and food menus. Its large terrace fronts a quiet road.
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Jongleurs
This is something like a Starbucks-size international chain that serves comedy instead of coffee. There's eating, drinking and laughing (probably all at the same, choke-risk time). Friday and Saturday nights normally feature one big-name comedian and a couple of guys on unicycles (or thereabouts) and the shows are so popular, you usually have to book in advance. There are other venues in Battersea and Bow.
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King's Arms
A well-kept secret on the corner of a terraced Waterloo backstreet, the award-winning King's Arms is a delightful boozer full of character. The large traditional bar area serving up a good selection of ales and bitters gives way to a fantastically odd conservatory bedecked with junk store eclectica of local interest. It's a relaxed and friendly place; you'll find few better south of the river.
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King's Bar
Nestled behind the awesome Victorian Gothic façade of the Hotel Russell, the King's Bar is an oasis of booze in a neighbourhood sorely lacking in decent bars. The grand Edwardian décor, huge leather armchairs and table service make the prices worthwhile. There's a great selection of cocktails and wines, and you're always guaranteed a seat.
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Ku Bar
This is the London gay teen hang-out of choice and at the weekends it seems as if every under-20 year old in the southeast converges on the Ku for preclubbing drinks. Its location doesn't hurt either, where Chinatown, Soho and Covent Garden meet, and there's always something going on, from karaoke to cabaret.
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Lab
With other Soho cocktail bars, such as Floridita, grabbing the headlines now, the London Academy of Bartending is not as fashionable as previously. But, damn it, it's still somewhere to come if you like your drinks seriously well mixed.
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Lamb
The Lamb's central mahogany bar with beautiful Victorian dividers has been its pièce de résistance since 1729, when the screens used to hide the music stars from the punters' curious gaze. Just like three centuries ago, the pub is still wildly popular, so come early to bag a booth. There's a decent selection of Young's bitters and a genial atmosphere perfect for unwinding.
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Lamb & Flag
Good pubs can be hard to come by in over-touristy Covent Garden, but the Lamb & Flag makes up for any character or soul lost in the area - the interior is over 350 years old, with creaky wooden floors and winding stairs, there's live jazz on Sunday afternoons and come sunshine or summer evenings, it's a miracle if you can approach the bar for all the people crowding outside.
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Laughing Gravy
This casual bar and restaurant has a delightfully shambolic, almost louche atmosphere. With vintage ad posters, paintings, potted plants and piano, it resembles a bohemian late-1940s living room. The small bar is well stocked with 'laughing gravy' (whisky).
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Lee Hurst's Backyard Comedy Club
Reputed to be the place the comedians most love to play, you can expect excellent shows and a chuckling, chortling, guffawing and shrieking atmosphere. It's established and maintained by Lee Hurst, himself a successful comedian and dedicated promoter of the venue's name.
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London Apprentice
If you're really into sunning along the Thames, you may want to venture north of Twickenham to Isleworth and this riverside pub dating to the early 17th century. Henry VIII is believed to have dallied with wife-to-be No 5, Catherine Howard, at an earlier tavern on the site.
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Lonsdale
The once super-slick Lonsdale, with its bumpy space-age walls suffused in purple light, is looking a bit worn out nowadays and the crowd is not as groomed as it once was. The exceptional cocktails are what people come for, although there are also beers and wines.
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Lord John Russell
If you're pining for your student days or just want a cheap pint, head down to the Lord John Russell. Here you can blend in with the under- and post-grads who are escaping the local halls of residence. It's a traditional one-room bar where chatting is the norm, and the relaxed atmosphere is perfect for getting away from noisy Central London bars.
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Loungelover
Evincing the junk-shop-rearranged-by-gay-stylist look, here chandeliers, antiques, street lanterns and comfy lounge chairs materialise just seconds away from the run-down streets outside. Coming here once is never enough, but prepare to cough up around £10 for a cocktail.
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Market Porter
This pub opens early on weekdays for the traders at Borough's wholesale market. It's good during normal opening hours, too, for its convivial atmosphere and excellent selection of real ales and bitters. This is the stuff of great pubs, and it's well worth making a detour for or stopping by for a quick 'un while perusing the stalls of Borough Market at the weekend.
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Mass
Mass is an appropriately named venue, situated in St Matthew's Church, with its vaulted ceilings, pews and frescoes. The most popular night here is Rodigan's Reggae, with legendary broadcaster David Rodigan and Papa Face joined by guest DJs every week. It's the hottest place to be in Brixton on a Wednesday night.
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Mayflower
East of Bermondsey in Rotherhithe, this 15th-century pub, originally called the Shippe, is named after the vessel that took the pilgrims to America in 1620. The ship set sail from Rotherhithe, and the captain supposedly charted out its course here while supping schooners. There's seating on a small back terrace, from which you can view the Thames.
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Medicine Bar
Still one of the coolest bars along Upper St, the Medicine Bar attracts 30-something clubbers and drinkers, as well as a younger crowd. One reason you'd come to this converted dark-red pub, with low sofas and dim lighting, is its music, ranging from jazzy funk to hip-hop; another attraction is minor celebrity spotting - you might catch sight of your fave DJ, model or TV star (if you can see through the crowds, that is).
