If cities had faces, we’d make out with these places

Feb 7, 2011 2:25:42 AM

Leif Pettersen
Lonely Planet Author

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I’m no objectum sexual, a person with ‘pronounced emotional and often romantic desire towards particular inanimate objects’, like newlywed Erika Eiffel who changed her name and held a commitment ceremony with the Paris landmark a few years back. But, like most people, I do feel a comparable attraction to places, going so far as to cheekily assign what are generally considered human attributes to explain their appeal.

This oddity crossed my mind when my editor floated the idea of writing a Valentine’s Day piece about places I would marry. My first thought was ‘Nah, too much commitment’. However, if places had faces, I would totally make out with several of them – and I’m not alone.

What follows is a list of smooch-worthy destinations, populated by me and a number of lustful contributors, including our shameless use of human traits explaining why. Don’t judge us. Infatuation makes people do and say strange things.

Verona – Almost perfect, in a Jennifer Aniston, romantic comedy kind of way. Beautiful, mellow and an exceptional flair for romance. She got even more appealing when she quit smoking a few years ago. Unfortunately, she has a tendency to stand out on her balcony and talk to people who aren’t there.

Melbourne – Who doesn’t want to mash with the animated, youthful, fun girl who also happens to be an amazing cook? She befriends and welcomes all forms of culture, so she’d probably be the best travel companion on this list.

Salzburg – Becoming, polite, aging extremely well, with countless twists, turns and nooks that hide even more captivating charm. Not only would I make out with Salzburg, I’d probably Facebook stalk her the next day.

Santorini – A quiet and achingly well-groomed creature whom you’d likely meet in a photography class. She has tonnes of platonic friends, but getting close to her takes unusual effort, especially since she tends to get quiet and anti-social in winter. You get the sense that she’s been intimate with precious few people.

Portland, Oregon – It’s a rare thing to find someone who’s smart, charming, outdoorsy and attractive without being high maintenance. However, she’s undeniably weird, with some new age leanings that stray dangerously close to hippiedom. Expect your Christmas present to involve crystals.

Barcelona – Energised, passionate, a little dangerous, with the capacity to consume prodigious amounts of alcohol. This is the girl you meet at a party who will kiss your face off in a corner for three hours, but then you never see again – and you never forget.

Sofia, Bulgaria – This one may not have a day job, because it seems like you only ever see her while you’re out clubbing. She’s probably the sexiest one in the room, but she always smells like cigarettes and alcohol.

Brussels – Kinda quiet but intriguing, polyglot, beautiful but not flashy, with a sly appreciation for the absurd. Logical and not prone to drama, Brussels would be the ideal friend with benefits.

Buenos Aires – Way sexy, a little rough, gratifyingly carnivorous and full of adventure. Also, probably has the best wine collection of anyone you ever met.

Paris’ wingman – If I found Paris in a club, I’d look for her less flashy ‘wingman’. Not ’cause Paris isn’t exciting and classically beautiful; just because I like surprises better and I think Paris has put out for just about everybody.

Leif Pettersen has authored multiple guidebooks for Lonely Planet.

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Comments

7 February 2011 10:51PM ansh_jain_97 Report this comment
why is everyone a "she". Stop being a sexist ;-)!
8 February 2011 12:46AM ashmantoronto Report this comment
This pretty much how I explain why I like/dislike cities to my friends. I know some people who LOVE Montreal, and I don't and they understand why. Then I tell them 'If Montreal were a person - model, tall, blonde, really handsome - no matter how hot he is there is no spark and I'm just not attracted to him. I'm not attracted to Habana, too. Cities I'd marry would be Toronto, New York, Quebec City, San Francisco, Panama City.
14 February 2011 12:20PM markfranh Report this comment
Barcelona? Some of the rudest most unfriendly people I've ever had the misfortune to encounter in 40 years of travel. (And not just me with one bad experience as I've encountered many others who've had similar problems)
In short, a city with great architecture but a shame about the inhabitants.
14 February 2011 1:08PM mbousquet Report this comment
I agree with most of your choices, but I'd pick Gent, Belgium as my squeeze on the side. Plus I'd add Penguin, Tasmania as an otherworldly one night stand that, upon waking the next morning on freshly-scented linens in my sunny room by the ocean, I have no recollection of returning the night before, and aside from a sublime remembrance I can't even be sure the encounter took place.
14 February 2011 2:53PM sumitvashisht Report this comment
Marrying a place is a good Idea. today ifeel that my first love was always Shimla - The city which I was born in, lived in it for the first 11 years of my life and then due to my father's transfer I had to move away from here to a small town, Rohtak, in the plains of India. I never liked Rohtak and late I realised that I could never like the plains. Shimla kept haunting me and it took me nearlty 20 years to return. Although not my ancestral town but since I was born here so I call it my hometown.
Shimla was completely set by the British in 19th and 20th centurey and we are still preserving the heritage they made and left for us. The beauty in the terms of Nature, Heritage, Architecture, People, Ethics and Personal touch Shimla has, I think no other town must be having. Today I write books on Shimla, conduct Heritage Walks in its streets and want to die here.
14 February 2011 9:39PM mijb Report this comment
Pettersen has put together probably the most boring city list imaginable. Has he never been anywhere exciting? I've been to all of these & what a load of rubbish!!! Verona- leave it out, Rome knocks spots off it Melbourne- yawn yawn. Oz cities are drab except fore Sydney Salzburg- querky but small and not much to do Santorini- spectacular place, but when does an island qualify as a city!? Portland- yawn yawn, Vancouver's miles more interesting. Barcelona- you've joking!! Over-run with tourists. Madrid beats it by miles. Sofia- so many better in E Europe. Brussels-yawn yawn zzzzzzzz Buenos Aires- sadly now run-down & dirty. South American cities are a real let-down. Rio stands out proudly as the one major city in S Am oozing character. Paris- probably the only one that merits being in this awful list.
My top 10 cities (in order)would be: Bangkok, Rio de Janeiro, Cartagena (Colombia), Hong Kong, Rome, Hanoi, Marrakesh, Mumbai, Salvador (Brazil), Paris or Madrid.
15 February 2011 12:13AM don_juanila Report this comment
mijb - *yawn yawn* zzzzzzzzzzzzz
thanks for the funny lighthearted read LP!
15 February 2011 3:52AM zoe100 Report this comment
Istanbul is mad, bad and dangerous to know. Feast on a vast array of meze at Cicek Passage in Europe then party til dawn at an Asian nightclub. Follow the route of Jason and his Argonauts to the mouth of the Black Sea, shop til you drop in designer boutiques. Swoon at the minarets of the Golden Crescent and wander through the labyrinth of Capali Carsi, the covered bazaar. Exotic begins at Istanbul.
15 February 2011 3:55AM rockinrio Report this comment
Currently Im married with Rio de Janeiro: Hes a really, really hot guy, beautiful tan and body; most people think he is just muscles and no brains, but they're wrong. He is very intelligent. But there is one problem: he is VERY dangerous. You fall in love with his looks and jokes, and when you start feeling confortable around him SURPRISE! You remember you should not have let you guard down. It's not a bad relationship, you just have to know what to expect from it and remember its never too safe around you.
15 February 2011 3:03PM kelscbr Report this comment
Cusco... he's friendly, a bit sexy, a great entertainer both indoors and out, is lovely to look at and wander around with, and appreciates a good party one day while being happy to watch the world go by over a coffee the next.
mijb - your list is boring too. it's a subjective list anyway, obviously everyone's idea of 'love' is going to be different!
15 February 2011 4:26PM lizabeth_11 Report this comment
Brilliant article! I would definitely have to say that Udaipur, India oozes far too much charm to be ignored at any party. Beautiful, romantic, mysterious and oh-so-unforgettable. Many thanks again for the article.
17 February 2011 9:15AM ef66 Report this comment
Seattle for me on the Pacific NW.
Latin America - has to be Oaxaca City although I loved Santiago ( and I worked there for several months) and Rio - it's impossible not to love Rio. Come to think of it Quito was really cool too.
17 May 2011 11:52AM blueflavored Report this comment
Venice! Super flashy, up for a fling with pretty much anybody (especially loves artsy types); starred in several movies and stolen many hearts, but getting to know him personally takes a lot of effort. Basically spends the whole year planning for one freaking amazing 10-day party.
19 June 2011 6:53AM justbgood Report this comment
Verona - ha! I was just passing through there a few weeks ago and I was sollicited for sex by a drugged-up sri lankan, hit on by a nice guy from Ghana, and had to wait in a storm for two hours outside the train station...oh yeah and weave through traffic in order to get to the last train of the day. besides that i agree. she's beautiful. but a little too beautiful for me...eerily so.
Barcelona - couldn't agree more. Definitely an amazing lover.
But what about Berlin and Rome. Rome - the passion oh the passion!! not to forget its pension for the unexpected and the beautiful. pure romance I tell you. And berlin - everything fun and freedom. Its whatever you want it to be and allows you to be whatever you want to be. Everything goes, but with a more relaxed, chilled-out and down-to-earth vibe that other like cities. The heart and soul of europe's avant-guarde and creative circles.
anyway, compliments for a very nice article.
22 June 2011 4:47AM eringirl Report this comment
Paris' less flashy kid sister, Lyon doesn't flash her charms at you from across a crowded room, but something about her sticks with you after you've come home. Her old town, set apart across the river from the rest of the city, the nearly empty Roman ruins, secret passageways used by the resistance, and a more working class feel than her world reknowned, high maintainance sibling.
1 July 2011 5:55PM tomh Report this comment
Palermo and Valencia, hubba hubba!
26 September 2011 4:49PM mgoat27 Report this comment
I could never cheat on Vancouver. Those valuptuous mountains are just gorgeous
27 September 2011 1:47AM jessicasadoway Report this comment
Props on the Shakespeare reference, if that's indeed what it was! I laughed.