Doe or Die - Free Kelso High is born

Posted Tuesday, March 13, 2007, 4:28 PM by Lonely Planet

It's been 85 years since the British Isles produced a new nation, so when I was asked to represent Lonely Planet and address a gathering of a freshly-declared independent state in the small rural town of Kelso, I hot-footed it to London's Kings Cross station, the gateway to the north and east of England, and distant Scotland beyond.

My destination was Free Kelso High, a school and now a country in the Borders. This region, unsurprisingly, straddles England and Scotland and for centuries was squabbled over in a manner not unlike the more gory bits in Braveheart. Though little-visited, the Borders are home to lovely market towns, gently rolling hills and the broad, fast-flowing river Tweed - a natural border that even today separates attitudes and dialects. Doe or Die, Kelso's motto, comes from medieval Scots King Robert the Bruce and reflects the areas distinct accent and slang.


The Borders is perfect for a cycling or walking trip away from the crowds, who rarely give the region a second thought as they hot-foot to Edinburgh and the Highlands beyond. Even the recent hoohah cause by nearby Rosslyn Chapel being named as the resting place for the Holy Grail in the Da Vinci code seems to have barely impacted on the tranquil pace of life round here.

Perhaps irritated by this oversight, Kelso High School has decided to leave behind the petty squabbles of England and Scotland and go it alone as Free Kelso High. This year marks the 300th anniversary of the Act of Union between the two countries, and to mark the event two students read out a Declaration of Independence. Free Kelso now has it's own flag, fluttering in the stiff early Spring breeze, currency (bawbees) and is flirting with the trappings of nationhood. The school is issuing its own passports, but failed to check mine on entry, raising questions about the porous nature of FKH's borders.


Rector and Head of State Charles Robertson, a man of passion and vision, invited Lonely Planet to add our thoughts to those of the UN and European Union. They had provided an insight into what it means to be a working country. I had a slightly different message: that you could make pots of money by behaving eccentrically. Citing the examples of self-proclaimed success stories like Hutt River Valley Province, Sealand and the Copeman Empire, I suggested how Free Kelso could not only survive, but thrive. Tourists and souvenirs can bring in revenue. Very new and very old things can be tourist highlights. Kelso, I learnt, is know for its onions. If all else fails, students can get out the papier mache and make an Aussie-style Big allium cepa.

The flag of Free Kelso will flutter over the school until next Thursday until a referendum - covered live by BBC Scotland, who are keenly following events - will decide whether the school goes it alone or comes back into the British fold. The students have an interesting choice - the school is at the heart of the debate raging about whether Caledonians are Scots, Brits, Europeans or something else altogether. I'll let you know what they decide.

***Update, 15 March 2007: in today's referendum the citizens of Free Kelso High voted 437 to 113 in favour of independence, with a 90% turnout! ***

See Micronations for more mini-country tomfoolery.

- Tom Hall

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